Given that Amazon.com's net loss for 2000 was $1.4 billion (!), and given that its losses for the latest quarter were 127 percent higher than the losses for the previous quarter (not a good trend), it's no wonder Bezos & Co. told The New York Times that the company doesn't use "conventional measures of profits or losses" to gauge success.

Since Amazon.com's mysterious New Economy formula doesn't adhere to traditional Wall Street standards, we decided to present Amazon's latest income statement ($800 million loss from operations) to local numer-ologist, crystal ball gazer, tarot dealer, mind reader, metaphysics expert Sheila-- Seattle's Diva of Divination. The 54-year-old metaphysician, who works at Pike Place Market's Magic Shop, has been known to predict Mariners games and charge $800 for a mind reading.

Here's what the fortune teller had to say about Seattle's Fortune 500 wannabe:

Will Amazon ever reach profitability?

Well, the two colors blue and green seem to be materializing in the crystal ball. Blue is the long river. Green, of course, is money. Not for a while would be the answer.

Will there be more massive layoffs?

Nope. Absolutely not. The river's calm. The river is dividing, though. I think they're going to be casting off some of their unprofitable businesses.

Are workers ever going to form a union at Amazon?

The crystal ball is unclear about that. I do see the letters M. A. F. Some woman's initials in here. What would that mean? Maybe you'll have to ask Jeff [Bezos].

josh@thestranger.com