DREW SINCERE, my high school sweetie, and I were trying to make a go of it early in college, and it wasn't working. He was an exterminator in East Palo Alto, and back then he was still smoking pot every day. On one day, in the early '90s, he showed up with rose in hand, cigarette dangling, and blue eyes dazzling (which I thought was a testament to his deep waters). We'd agreed to a last-ditch date, and were driving north to Berkeley, even though the city was raging through one of its worst fires. We had tickets to see Public Enemy, Anthrax, and the Red Hot Chili Peppers. No way to tell if the show was still happening, so we took Highway 101 and drove closer and closer to the black cloud over Berkeley.

We hit the city limits, and embers hit the car as we drove. Although it was 3:00-ish, the sun was blocked by black smoke and it felt like the middle of the night. Under the falling embers we lay on the grass outside the auditorium; the hills were so low you could see the movement of the fire. In our hearts we felt like Public Enemy and Anthrax were making the city burn. We were a movie; they were the soundtrack. We couldn't reconcile Public Enemy playing with Anthrax; we couldn't reconcile high school love after high school; and so the city burned.

But forget the romance: A fire is always gonna go out.

Driving out to Ballard Firehouse on Tuesday night to catch the Anthrax show, I knew that metal was finished; its time was high school. It's only a nostalgic genre now -- all the guys communicate with one another through T-shirts: "I'm not racist, I hate everyone" one shirt says; "Censorship bad, genitals good," another responds. And the worst throwback of all: "Woodstock '99." The music was fantastic, though -- a complete abandonment of the indie self-consciousness we live in.

I pulled out an old tape the other day, and scribbled on the A-side was "Memories of Drew." It was a tape he made me when we called it quits for good. I think it was damaged during a make-out night on the beach, so it doesn't play anymore. But I know Anthrax is still on it.