Free Chocolate Happy Hour
Peanut butter and jelly. Siegfried and Roy. Chocolate and marijuana. All matches made in heaven. The Chocolopolis on Queen Anne gives away free samples of artisan chocolate every Thursday. That's right: You don't pay for the chocolate; you just eat it. Chocolopolis, 1527 Queen Anne Ave N, 5–9 pm.
Cannabis Farmers Market in Tacoma
Stroll among the harvests of the Northwest's best pot farmers at the Cannabis Farmers Market, which is free and open to all authorized Washington State medical marijuana patients. In addition to show-offy bud, CFMs also feature free samples, a patient lounge, and DJ Arch spinning wellness-enhancing tunes. Cannabis Farmers Markets and Sacred Plant Medicine home office, 1912 Center St, Tacoma, 11 am–5 pm. Every first and third Sunday; see www.cannabisfarmersmarkets.com.
Visit the Cannabis Defense Coalition Online
The last time we did one of these calendars, it featured a number of events hosted and/or hyped by the Cannabis Defense Coalition, "a nonprofit, nonpartisan membership organization devoted to reducing the harms associated with drug use and advocating sensible, science-based drug policy." The CDC's Cannabis Resource Center appears to be open once again, after a bit of drama and a move. They host a monthly meeting to discuss pot policy. Check their website: www.cdc.coop. Every first Monday.
Celebrate the season and give thanks for your good fortune by gorging on as much of whatever the fuck you want as you can handle. Your country demands it. Your dining room, preferably after 1 pm.
J. R. R. Tolkien's amazing novel about a short, furry-toed dude who likes to smoke the occasional pipe and go on the occasional dragon-battling adventure has been made into a movie. A movie for which you can get really, really stoned and watch in 3-fucking-D on the enormous IMAX screen at Seattle Center. Pacific Science Center and various other first-release theaters. IMAX tickets available at 9 am on Nov 7.
Shabazz Palaces and THEESatisfaction
Seattle-dwellers, spiritual siblings, and Sub Pop labelmates Shabazz Palaces and THEESatisfaction are responsible for some of the most immersive and surprising (an ace combo) hiphop being made anywhere these days. Tonight they perform one after the other onstage at the Neptune. It will be gorgeous. Neptune Theater, 1303 NE 45th St, www.stgpresents.org, 9 pm, $21.50 adv/$25 DOS, all ages.
The Dina Martina Christmas Show
Performances by the psycho-drag superstar (and freshly certified Stranger Genius) make normal people feel drugged and send stoned people straight to heaven. If you haven't seen her, Dina Martina is kind of like Mary Poppins, if Mary Poppins spent 30 years eating the insides of sofa cushions and sleeping in a ditch. Dina Martina sings, dances, talks, and shows videos, and it will blow your mind. Re-bar, 114 Howell St, www.brownpapertickets.com, 8 pm, $20 adv/$25 DOS, 21+.
Clean Your Fucking Bong
Happy New Year! Now clean your fucking bong. Get yourself some of that all-natural-and-gritty Formula 420 solution, put on some rubber gloves, and shake/scrape/swab that shit until it's clean enough to serve guacamole in. You'll be so glad you did.
Cakearokee at the Highline!
It's a scientific fact that if you are stoned, you want cake. Perhaps you also want to belt out some feel-good classic rock or tender R&B jams while eating cake. Go to the Highline on Tuesdays, and do it in a room full of other (probably equally stoned) people who are also stuffing their faces with vegan cake and singing at what is rumored to be "the most supportive karaoke night in the city." Highline, 210 Broadway E, 10 pm–2 am.
Super Bowl XLVII
You don't have to care about football to watch the Super Bowl. What matters are the commercials, where the greatest advertising minds in the world bust their humps to dazzle America. Nowhere else will you see such intense strategizing go into 30 seconds of film. Plus, a lot of the ads suck, so get stoned and point and laugh. Bonus: Halftime show by Beyoncé! At the Mercedes-Benz Superdome in New Orleans and on televisions everywhere.
This award-winning production from the National Theater of Great Britain has blown the minds of audiences from London to Broadway, for one main reason: HUGE MAGIC HORSE PUPPETS. Created by South Africa's Handspring Puppet Company, the life-size horse puppets are the stars of this play about a war or something. Paramount Theater, 911 Pine St, www.stgpresents.org.
The Kerblillionth Annual Academy Awards
If you've never gotten baked and watched the Oscars, you're an idiot. Oscar night is when stars pay back the adoration (or at least attention) we lavish upon them by offering themselves up for a grueling obstacle course of potential humiliation: a formal event broadcast live on television that is also a competition that demands instant public speaking from winners. It's glorious—the world's most beautiful people running across a minefield. (In a cruel twist, Seth MacFarlane hosts.) At the Dolby Theater in LA and on televisions everywhere.
Flashdance: The Musical
Flashdance is the greatest documentary ever made about a breakdancing welder who sparks an international fashion craze, and Flashdance: The Musical turns that amazing story into a musical! Take your passion, and make it happen. (By passion I mean bong hits.) Paramount Theater, 911 Pine St, full info at www.broadwaytour.net/flashdance-seattle-paramount-theatre.
As all pot smokers know, 4/20 is the national pot holiday for numerous reasons, all of them factual. Pass the bong.
Dining Out for Life
Fact one: Medical marijuana makes an incalculable difference in the lives of many people living with HIV/AIDS. Fact two: Stoners love to eat. Celebrate both these facts by Dining Out for Life. Today, more than 150 restaurants donate a portion of their daily sales to the fight against HIV and AIDS in the Puget Sound region. Check out the list of participating restaurants, find a place that you've been dying to try or revisit, and take yourself out for a glorious meal for a great cause. See participating restaurants at www.diningoutforlife.com/seattle.
Contrary to potheadular belief, not everything should be done while high on marijuana, including (but not limited to) driving, babysitting, voting, investing, performing surgery, and shopping at Costco.