Amuck at the Mecca: An innocent after-work aperitif turned into a surreal experiment in Public Displays of Affection at the Mecca Cafe last week, when informant Michael McIntosh and his boyfriend discovered none other than Quentin Tarantino tongue-wrastlin' a bar wench in the next booth. Inspired by Quentin's verve (and a few Stoli 'n' tonics), Michael did what any virile, red-blooded fairy would do: He started ferociously sucking his own boyfriend's tonsils. Never to be outdone, the competitive Mr. Tarantino redoubled his efforts, adding several sensual grunts and erotic, moist smacking noises to his performance. Order was finally restored when an employee of the Mecca split the horny (reservoir?) dogs up. For the record, this item is no reflection upon, and has no affiliation with, the Nation of Islam or the Muslim people. Thank you.Where's J. Lo?: Last weekend the luscious Lady Lopez was seen dining daintily upon overpriced Pan-Asian cuisine (a.k.a. Chinese food) at (drum roll please) Wild Ginger! Just like I said she might be. So for all of those star stalkers who didn't heed my advice and loiter about the parking lot to get a glimpse of the goddess, all I can say is neener, neener.

Also Seen: Mr. Pulp Fiction again, having tired of sucking on a bar wench, chose instead to suck on big, pink, swishy mixed drinks in the lobby of the W Hotel. Informant Amy assures us that yes, Quentin really does look that freaky in person. And while we're on the topic of freaky-looking, irascible "shock jocks" (oh, how I loathe that term), Tom Leykis was seen getting all suave and flirty with a "cute Asian chick" at the bar at the Baltic Room. After a while, Tom and the C.A.C. were finally lit enough to hit the dance floor. According to my informants, the pair "looked pretty silly."

It's All So Clear Now: I've recently learned that (unsexy) Adam Arkin has been lurking around Queen Anne Hill so much these days because his ex and daughter live there, and a diehard Talking Heads fan assures me that (unsexy) David Byrne has been lurking around in a beat-up red backpack so much these days because, well, he always wears a beat-up red backpack. Whatever. And for all of those who have written to ask if Dave Matthews lives in a specific Seattle neighborhood, the answer is yes. He lives in a very specific Seattle neighborhood. Thanks for writing.

celebisawu@thestranger.com