What has 18 months of deep-fryer duty taught you about life and the human condition?
Drunk people don't know how to read. And lots of people take pictures of the food they are eating for blogs.
Who's the famousest person you've waited on?
Sean Lennon came in last week. I totally kicked it with Edie Brickell, too. Do either of those people count as famous? Dave Bazan from Pedro the Lion is a regular.
How do you feel about your Frites career coming to an end?
I'm pretty excited about not having to keep a separate wardrobe just for work. You get pretty greasy here. I expect my skin to clear up a little bit.
What'll you miss the most?
I will not miss much, as I also like to get drunk and go eat Frites. I expect to visit often.
I understand. How did Frites get so incredibly delicious?
If you spend enough time to make something as insignificant as fried potatoes from absolute scratch, they are going to be heaven. Most places use frozen potatoes, which is total bullshit.
In your expert opinion, which Frites sauce is best?
As I say to customers when they ask me to recommend things, "I'm not your mother—make your own decisions." But since I like you, the adobo, curry ketchup, and garlic aioli are the total best ones.
I am now occupying a cubicle at The Strangler, as I affectionately call your stupid newspaper. I'm the "website content coordinator," or something.
Good fucking luck.