Who is mummified inside your pyramid of Spam cans?
Pig parts—everything from the rooter to the tooter.
Is this "bacon hut" mentioned in the menu on the premises?
The bacon hut is located approximately 3,366 miles away, in a small town called Palolo Valley.
When I went to Hawaii, a man told me that he could tell I was from Seattle because of my greenish tint. Do you notice that about people here?
Nobody tans—they kind of rust here.
Is the Spamonaise rémoulade a uniform mixture of Spam and mayonnaise or is it more like mayonnaise with distinct pieces of Spam?
It's mayo, which is unhealthy enough already. If the Spam in it was an animal, I'd say it's all the most unhealthy pieces of that animal, which are the most tasty.
Which item on your menu would you say employs the most creative use of pineapple?
The Hawaiian margarita. It has muddled pineapple and li hing mui, a Chinese sweet-and-sour powder. I can't really describe it; it's one of those things you have to taste.