ALMOST LIVE! REUNION AT LAFF HOLE
Joel McHale will not be there, so stop rubbing yourselves (unless you're a big Bill Stainton fan). For real, though, Almost Live!—helmed, like this Very Special Laff Hole, by the puckish John Keister—is completely lovable and funny, and it shaped an entire generation's opinion of Kent. To this day, I won't rescue a resident of Kent from a pit of burning quicksand, and I don't even really know what Kent is. Thanks, Keister. Chop Suey, 8:30 pm, $10, 21+.
SUPER MEGA ULTRA VIRGINS OF COMEDY
A night of nerd-based comedy from Mike Drucker, Derek Sheen, and Travis Vogt—absolutely (maybe!) my three favorite white male local comics working right now. Or, in their words, "three of the world's fastest, strongest, and funniest male virgins are ready to make you laugh so hard you'll have to roll a 13 or better to keep from suffocating!" At the end of the show, based on audience applause, one of the three will lose his virginity live onstage (bring your splash poncho!)! Seattle Comedy Underground, Thurs 8:30 pm (all ages)/Fri–Sat 8:30 and 10:30 pm (21+), $10–$20.
ROASTMASTER GENERAL JEFFREY ROSS
Jeffrey Ross is a famous insult comic who went on Dancing with the Stars only to be slashed in the eyeball by a frenzied Pole. Mainly known for his extensive analysis of the flora and fauna of Lisa Lampanelli's vagina. I'm pro. Laughs Comedy Spot, 8 pm (18+) and 10:30 pm (21+), $25–$30.