If the people who know me know one thing about me (and they do! I think!), it's that I have a very serious problem. I'm an addict. And a hoarder. I'm addicted to hoarding, and what I hoard is drugs, and my drug of choice, ladies and gentlemen, iiiiis... HELPING! (Intravenous!) For instance, I help poor children in miscellaneous third-world villages by sending them my old eyeglasses. Helpful! And I help friends with their diets by eating the entire Viennetta myself while they're still clearing the dinner dishes. You're welcome! (Helpful hint: They sell Viennetta at the Grocery Outlet along with churro-flavored Bugles. It's like a time machine to Anna Nicole's hope chest!) Also, I help myself feel great by indiscriminately injecting large amounts of narcotics and/or melted Viennetta into my bloodstream! Ha-ha-ha, I'm just kidding, you guys. I am also a liar!

So anyway, just to be helpful, for the next three weeks I'll be hosting Reel Grrls' new fundraiser/film series AWESOME MOVIES YOU NEVER KNEW WERE DIRECTED BY WOMEN at Central Cinema. It's been a big year for ladies in film—Kathryn Bigelow became the first woman ever to win a best director Oscar. Also, Jamie Lee Curtis's colon is healthier than ever. And probably something else happened as well. Congrats, womens!

The series starts Wednesday, April 28, with Point Break, directed by the aforementioned Bigelow, an awesomely stupid, awesomely entertaining movie about surfers who rob banks and Keanu Reeves being in the FBI. Week two (May 5) is American Psycho, Mary Harron's adaptation of the Bret Easton Ellis novel, in which Christian Bale's muscle-breasts have to return some videotapes. And the series closes with Fast Times at Ridgemont High (May 12), which was directed by Amy Heckerling and is about Jennifer Jason Leigh's hymen.

Here's what you can expect: Me yelling about something, followed by two hours of movie, and then the opportunity to yell back at me (about feminism, maybe!). The idea here isn't to express amazement that women can direct smart, interesting, financially viable movies—even in traditionally "male" genres like cheesy action films and raunchy stoner-comedies—because of course. Of course. As much as I play around with the concept, no one who's actually met a modern female human can believe that we're all fleshy Cathy homunculi made of Activia lids and tampon strings. (Right?) The point is that it shouldn't be surprising. Women create great, weird, funny, beautiful shit all the time (and I don't just mean babies, you guys!), even though a lot of the world is still a boys' club. This series is about those women, and it's about Reel Grrls, which creates more of those women every day. (And sorry for that crack I made earlier about Anna Nicole. That was kind of sexist. Girl power.) recommended