First of all, let's not call it genital torture, because that word is even more emotionally loaded than usual these days. But I like what I call genital sensation play, both because it's an intimate form of BDSM and because I find that sex is even sexier when strategic bits of the anatomy are thoroughly sensitized first. Would you like to hear about some ways that you, as a budding kinkster, might incorporate some genital sensation play into your repertoire? I thought so.
Before we go further, some advice and a rule: Genital play works best when people are already aroused, and when you alternate the intense stuff with traditionally pleasurable sensations. And obviously if someone says stop, you stop, no questions asked.
If your partner is female, try this: Take her outermost pussy lips—labia majora, if you like the Latin terms—between your thumb and forefinger and squeeze a bit. Start off easy, and have her tell you if you can go harder or not. Once you've determined how much pressure feels okay, you can employ some of my favorite female genital play toys: chopsticks. You need two pairs of them—make sure you get all the splinters off—and also four rubber bands. Cinch a pair of chopsticks loosely together at one end with one rubber band. Then open them into a v-shape and place one of her labia between them. Now the tricky part: You're going to take the other rubber band and wrap it around the open end of the chopsticks. However, it's likely that on your first time out, you won't want to bring the two ends completely together because that would be a lot of pressure. So make only a few loops around the open end, just enough to hold the chopsticks in place. Then do the same to the other labia. Check in with her, and adjust the rubber bands to your mutual liking.
Essentially, you're pulling the skin around the clit tighter, which makes it more sensitive. And the labium will be more sensitive too, both while they're in the chopsticks and after you take them off. I like using chopsticks for this more than say, clothespins, because it's easier to make fine adjustments to the level of intensity. Also, the chopsticks won't poke you in the eye if you go down on her while they're on—a practice I recommend. It's also quite possible to fuck someone with the chopsticks in place, but remember you've got delicate skin under tension there, so be careful.
What if your partner has boy bits? Again, start with bare hands—make a circle with your thumb and forefinger and close it gently around the top of his scrotum, cinching the ball-sack and its contents off from his body. Slowly increase the pressure, getting feedback from him as to how much feels okay. You can, of course, stack the deck in your favor by stroking or sucking him as you do this.
Once you've found the pressure sweet spot, try adding some tension. Begin pulling gently down on the scrotum as you stimulate the cock. Don't yank—pull slowly and evenly, and make sure you keep both balls firmly under your hand, as they'll sometimes try to slip upward through your fingers, which I'm told creates a not-fun kind of pain for boys. If you want both hands free, you can also use something as simple as a shoelace to maintain the cinch. (Using a brand-new one is nicer, unless you're into the raunch thing.) Macramé skills aren't required; just put the center of the cord at the back of his balls and wrap the ends until you run out of length, then tie a bow. (Bows are easy to untie later.) You'll have his full attention, since you're drawing the skin on his cock tighter, making it—you guessed it—more sensitive. I find pulling firmly on the tied-up ball-sack while fucking often elicits a charming pain/pleasure response.
My final advice about genital play: Genital sensation play carries a particularly intense physical and emotional charge, and it requires trust. Go slowly, use common sense, and make sure the experience you create for your partner is a positive one.
BURLESQUE DANCE CLASS
Miss Indigo Blues Academy of Burlesque will teach you to bump, grind, shimmy, and shake. Beginners welcome. Classes in Leschi, six-week series of group and private lessons, pre-registration required. For more information, see www.missindigoblue.com or contact 478-9475 or email@example.com, 21+.
Rain City Jacks is a private, mens-only JO club. This week, show off your favorite skivvies beforeor whileyou stroke. Membership required. For more information, see www.raincityjacks.org or contact firstname.lastname@example.org,6:309:30 pm, $5$15.
WOMEN-ONLY NIGHT AT THE WET SPOT
Socialize, flirt, and do BDSM with the girls. All orientations welcome. Wet Spot, 1630 15th Ave W, Building E, 270-9746, email@example.com, 9 pm3 am, $15, members only, female ID required.
Party at the friendly Eastside swing club. Single men must RSVP for the waiting list, couples and single women can just show up. For more information, contact 425-868-8169 or www.redmond-ranch.com, doors at 7 pm, new people must arrive by 8 pm, $45 for couples/$25 for single women.
THE MORNING AFTER AND BEYOND
After the flirting, after the seductionwhat if you want more than a one-night stand? Teri Ciacchi, Ian Hagemann, and Allena Gabosch discuss negotiations in creating a lasting relationship. School of One, 3107 Eastlake Ave E, 523-5544 or www.schoolofone.com, 810 pm, $20 donation requested.
SEATTLE ROADSTER SHOW
Hot rods, customs, muscle cars, choppers, drag racers, and other variations in steel, upholstery, and internal combustion. Qwest Field Event Center, 800 Occidental Ave, www.hotrodshows.com, 10 am10 pm, $8$15.
BONDAGE FROM THE BOTTOMS PERSPECTIVE
A panel of bondage bottoms will join bondage instructor Max to discuss the physical and mental effects of bondage. Volunteers will be taken from the audience for demonstrations. Wet Spot, 1630 15th Ave W, Building E, 270-9746 or www.bondagelessons.com, 2:305:30 pm, $30, membership not required.