One male trait that charms me is the love of fiddling with things. Take phones, for example. When I get a new phone, I'll spend two minutes figuring out how to get calls, texts, and e-mails on it, and then I'm done. I'm just not particularly interested in every single technological marvel it can perform. My male partners, on the other hand, have customized, optimized, downloaded, and generally exploited every possible feature of their phones. They can clock the air-speed velocity of an unladen swallow. They can text Batman. They have apps that can theoretically launch nuclear missiles. Yes, I know women can do this, too. But indulge me, because this affectionately sexist whimsy is leading to a deeper question: Why don't men wear strap-on dildos more often?

Does that sound like an absurd segue? It isn't to me. Most men look at you funny if you even suggest the possibility that they could wear a strap-on dildo. And yet... men like sex. Many men like engineering things. Some men really like both. There are thousands of sexual gadgets in the world invented, manufactured, and sold by men, and it's mainly guys who buy them. But somehow this very basic form of sexual technology goes unloved by men. That baffles me.

It can't be fear of looking silly. Not from a gender that permits glow-in-the-dark condoms, novelty thongs, and cock rings with rubber squid tentacles. True, many commercially marketed dildo harnesses are shaped with a female body in mind, but there are some harnesses designed for men, where the dildo is secured to the man's lower abdomen, right above his factory-installed equipment. And buying a ready-made harness isn't an absolute requirement. All one really needs is a dildo, a set of hips, and something to lash the two together—bathrobe ties, clothesline, anything. The rest is just a physics experiment.

I suppose one also needs someplace to put that second phallus. Double penetration is not something I find strictly necessary for a good time, but some women enjoy it. A strap-on seems like the ideal thing for a guy who likes the idea of DP but is reluctant to be near another erect penis. A man wielding two cocks can also potentially put them in two different people simultaneously. I know one man who has experience doing exactly that, with two women. He admits it required some practice to perfect and advises, "Lie on your back, with them facing you, back to front." I think the shape of the specific bodies involved will inform that naked Twister game, but there's really no bad outcome in that scenario, is there?

So if you're a boy who likes toys, consider the humble strap-on. Granted, they are a low-tech application and perhaps not as alluring as the shiny new whizbang—but the good thing is, you can rely on them never to crash when you're making that really important upload. recommended