Food & Drink

Drinkiing with Charlse Mudede

Loud Laughter That Hurts the Ears

Drinkiing with Charlse Mudede

The Oak

THE OAK

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I want to first begin by making it clear that I'm not a booze expert. Nor am I a wine connoisseur. This column, therefore, will not provide you with facts that can make you sound impressive and learned. No, there will be none of that. What I want to do instead is use this space to discuss what fascinates me more than anything else: human beings. Dogs bark, cats search for the most perfect spot to do nothing, squirrels dig and dig, crows look at you funny, seagulls swallow funny—in short, all the other animals bore me to tears.

But humans are endlessly entertaining and fascinating. They have big brains and all kinds of unexpected things come out of their mouths, especially when they are drinking. And this is the point: I don't go to bars for the booze but for the people. One can drink alone at home, but that is always sad and even unproductive. You don't learn anything from being by yourself. Drinking is always best when it's social. In a word, I want the reader to consider this column as my small contribution to anthropology, the study of humans and their behavior.

With the remaining space of this column, let me tell you about my recent visit to a relatively new and lovely bar on Beacon Hill called the Oak—it's run by the people behind Redwood on Capitol Hill. I had drinks during this visit: a glass of white wine by Corfini Cellars ($6), a Seattle-based wine distribution company, and a cocktail called Booch Smooch ($7), which contains kombucha tea, cranberry juice, and vodka made by Sun Liquor.

What were these drinks like? I can't really tell you, because each time I tried to think about the badness or goodness of the wine or to determine if the exotic cocktail was a success or not, a woman sitting with her friends at a table behind me would burst into the loudest and sharpest peals of laughter. Her laughter shattered any thought in my head into a thousand pieces and made me painfully aware of the fragility of my eardrums. When she wasn't laughing, the eardrums were doing their business out of my mind's sight; when she laughed, I could almost see them vibrating violently in the depths of my ear. Here is my question: Is there anything in life that's really that funny? It's just not possible. Humans are funny for sure, but not that funny. In any case, loud laughter is not good for the mind, ears, and soul. It also makes you sound crazy. recommended

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Comments (12) RSS

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1
Oh, Charles. You're my favourite.
Posted by Charles' cheerleader on March 20, 2013 at 3:50 PM · Report this
2
I fucking LOVE Charles' quirky written bits. Where else bu the Stranger would he not be pelted with sticks and driven wailing from the editor's office?
Posted by Doug in SC on March 20, 2013 at 3:56 PM · Report this
3
Her laughter sounds worse than a wild blast of children.
Posted by Actionsquid on March 20, 2013 at 3:57 PM · Report this
sikandro 4
This is going to be the best column ever.

I don't mind loud talkers as much as I mind quiet rooms in which everyone will hear me talking even if I talk at a normal volume. I shut down completely.
Posted by sikandro on March 20, 2013 at 4:04 PM · Report this
5
Just out of curiosity, was the misspelling in the title supposed to be there? If so, what is the meaning of drinkiing?
Posted by SeattleKim on March 20, 2013 at 4:21 PM · Report this
tainte 6
they were laughing at your foo foo drinks, chuckles.
Posted by tainte on March 20, 2013 at 4:29 PM · Report this
seandr 7
The sound of other people's laughter is always a difficult thing for the lonely to hear.
Posted by seandr on March 20, 2013 at 4:42 PM · Report this
Fnarf 8
I'd rather drink at home. I can afford it. Bars are too expensive, and the words that I hear coming out of people's mouths are usually too inane to bear -- especially in places where the drinks cost $7 and up.
Posted by Fnarf http://www.facebook.com/fnarf on March 20, 2013 at 4:48 PM · Report this
WFM 9
Well, there was this joke:

http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x5j9n_m…
Posted by WFM on March 20, 2013 at 7:07 PM · Report this
10
Love this column! Spot on the reason I like bars. The people watching, the stories you hear, all about the craziness of being human.

Next time, try an Old Fashioned.
Posted by Tmao on March 21, 2013 at 5:59 PM · Report this
Texas10R 11
1) "Drinkiing"?

2) Wine is NOT a cocktail

3) "Dogs bark, cats search for the most perfect spot to do nothing, squirrels dig and dig, crows look at you funny, seagulls swallow funny—in short, all the other animals bore me to tears."

Such gibberish. CM needs and editor to wipe the spittle off his text before it goes to press.

On Capitol Hill there are a thousand people of greater knowledge, insight, and skill for this gig. Why is the Rodney Allen Rippy of Seattle popular culture on this beat?
Posted by Texas10R on March 23, 2013 at 5:52 AM · Report this
Texas10R 12
Swing by the Summit Public House. It could be in the running for unofficial headquarters of wayward knuckleheads with unfucking-believably-loud bikes.

Note: the joint is situated in a canyon of low-rise, mid-rise, and high-rise, apartments (accessible in 1st gear ONLY, so it would seem) in existence LONG before Summit Public House got their "sidewalk cafe" permit which apparently requires that female hyenas be imported in order to jack up the drunk-talk to 180 dB.

So much for open apartment windows in the summer.
Thanks, a-holes at Summit Public House. It was kinda nice before you guys went crack.

Hey Charlie M., I think they might have a tawny port, or perhaps, a predialytic-piss-brown ale worthy of pointless consideration.

Don't forget your ear plugs.

Oh well, it was fun in the days before it became a sort of Public House of cacophonic hysteria. Welcome to the Public A-hole Asylum. No charge for sidewalk syringes: finders keepers.

Posted by Texas10R on March 24, 2013 at 6:18 PM · Report this

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