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...who competed in the first annual Seattle PizzaFest Semi-Pro Pizza Eating Contest this past Saturday at the Funhouse: THANK YOU FOR NOT BARFING.
It was late, people were deeeeee-runk, and if even ONE OF YOU would have barfed, it would have set off one of those grade-school-style chain reactions and everybody on that crowded patio would have barfed all over each other. Someone may have even drowned. So on top of commending you on your bravery, skill, and shirt-and-pants-less techniques, I thank you for not letting PizzaFest turn into PukeFest. Urp!