Eating Bologna with Annette Bening
P.S. I do not even like bologna.
Previously in New Column!TWO WEEKS AGO, The Stranger announced a contest to Win a Date with Shawna Tate, the 17-year-old, hard-rocking, party-loving niece of Stranger publisher Tim Keck, who was featured on the cover of The Stranger's Back to School issue. Since then, responses have been literally pouring in from hot 'n' horny guys throughout the Northwest, who sent everything from love-drenched poems and sexy Polaroids to boxes of chocolate and sensitive mix tapes to vie for the attentions of the luscious Ms. Tate. Selecting a winner wasn't easy--but as soon as we laid eyes on the beautifully forthright and soul-searching letter penned by one Daniel Peabody (included here precisely as it was sent to us), we knew we'd found "the one"! Daniel: Should Shawna ever make it to Seattle, we will certainly get in touch with you. Everybody else: Take a lesson in scoring a hottie from Daniel Peabody!
My name is Daniel Peabody and I think that you are supper swell. When I saw your picture on the cover of The Stranger a realy weird, ooowwy, gooy feeling started to cover my intire body and I fell to the ground in an epilepic seizure. I am epileptic but I think this was different. I think that this was love. My doctor says that the experiemental brain surgery will make it so that I can walk and talk with out looking so funny but I'm real scared and wated to spen what could be my last night with some one special.
I thought that it might be nice to go Bumper Bowling and then go back to my place where I could prepare a romantic candlelit dinner for just us two. My mother says thta she could go spend the night with her sister in Auburn so that we could have some "Privacy."
My older brother Rupert says that you looked easy but I think that your the sweetest thing ever and figured I might as well give it a shot. My surgery is on the 23 of next month, so I hope that you can make it out from Michigan by then. Thanks a bunch and I hope to be hearing from you soon.
So here's where you come in, Shawna fans. We wanna know why you think you're the perfect date for Shawna Tate. Write a letter, a poem, a haiku, a song, whatever it takes to convince us--and Shawna!--that you're the one most deserving of her foxiness. Who knows? You might get lucky!
Send your entries to:
WIN A DATE WITH SHAWNA TATE!
c/o The Stranger
1535 11th Ave, 3rd Floor
Seattle, WA 98122