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June 10, 2009

God's Rejects

Fag-Hating Freaks Target Seattle's Gays, Jews, and Sane People

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W e've gawked for years from afar, but this weekend gives Seattle the rare opportunity to see the hurricane of idiocy known as the Westboro Baptist Church up close, as Fred Phelps's fag-hating, funeral-picketing, casualty-of-war celebrating gaggle of asshats picket nine(!) Seattle locations. A sampling of the targets (with explanatory text that seems like it was written by Wm.™ Steven Humphrey but is taken verbatim from the WBC website):

Stroum Jewish Community Center

Stranger Personals

Sat June 13, 6:15–7 pm

"Filthy Jews (where's the cash?); God Hates You (give him a star!); Jews killed Jesus (You bastards!);... You're gonna die (No mercy!); And go to hell (Ouch!)."

Mount Zion Baptist Church

Sun June 14, 10–10:45 am

"If you are not getting your head chopped off... you are NOTHING like John Baptist, so change the name on that building - liars! AMEN!"

Garfield High School

Mon June 15, 7:10–7:40 am

"Seattle has a later school year so we can visit the little brats before they begin their summer leave... It is only fair that they are shown some truth and light and life for one time in their sad lives."

If you'd like to gawk at the freaks with a group of equally horrified citizens, Seattle OUTprotest will be offering a "peaceful community response" to WBC's hate parades on Sunday morning. For full protest info, visit www.seattleoutprotest.org.

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Will the dear Rev. Phelps his self be there? I don't know if I can look at the women he surrounds himself with though, damn, if there was a place to put a 3rd bag they'd be tripel baggers. I could be spoiled though with all the beautiful (and rational minded) women in Seattle.

Posted by Tingleyfeeln on June 10, 2009 at 2:20 PM · Report

@Tingly: The third bag goes on the dog so it doesn't howl. Then you leave the 4th one outside the door in case anyone comes over.

Posted by Jebediah on June 13, 2009 at 10:36 PM · Report

These comments were so insanely hilarious (stress on the insanely part) I couldn't stop laughing while I read them. They sound like they were written by a drug addled infantile schizophrenic with ADD. This is both too hilarious and too pathetic to be real. I wonder what the protests were like.

Posted by WOWS..... on June 14, 2009 at 3:26 PM · Report

I wasn't at the protests, better things to do, like watching paint dry. Fred Phelps and his posse put the lunatic in lunatic fringe. Still, no one answered my question, was the Rev. him self actually here? Still, if you think our comments are pathetic, how about the fact that in a website like this no one with something other than crass humor to offer didn't comment, I was hoping for a little of that, but advise on where to put 3rd and 4th bags was welcome--------and I plan on never having to use that advice, but I will be sure to pass it on.

Posted by Tingleyfeeln on June 15, 2009 at 12:27 AM · Report

Too bad nobody killed the mother fucker when they had the chance. Yep...I hope someone does it. Nope...won't do it myself (no weapons, nor do I want to be a martyr.) Bummer. I hate lots of people...strong word I know. But so far he is the only person on the planet I wish dead.

Guess this proves there is no god. Cause surely he/she/it wouldn't give a kid cancer, or cause a tsunami that kills 100k people and let this man's vile and repulsive life continue on.

Posted by KoleBigEars on June 16, 2009 at 12:29 AM · Report

@4, 3 was talking about the comments by WBC in the article, not you or Jebediah's comments- which were also insanely funny, esp the part about the 4th bag.

Posted by NumberOne on June 18, 2009 at 7:19 AM · Report