You've met me. I work as one of those "direct" fundraisers downtown. We're rewarded for getting in your space, forcing you to shake hands, and doing or saying whatever it takes to get you to give a complete stranger on the street your credit card or bank account number. Most of you don't even really seem to understand how much or how long you're going to pay—you're just so goddamned grateful to get away from me without feeling like a heartless, kitten-drowning, baby-starving, greed-riddled asshole. Why do I do it? Because I LOVE it. I love getting paid to make people uncomfortable. I love forcing my will on another human being. I love that I get to wrap my sadistic longings to control others in a blame-free shroud of sanctimonious self-righteousness and there's nothing you can do about it. The money's okay, I guess, but the truth is that I get this unbelievable rush every time one of you does exactly what I want. See you today, sucker!