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Steven Weissman
Working at spas for the past 13 years sure has been fun, but I'll tell you what isn't fun—dealing with you pathetic excuses for mothers who come in for spa treatments that you "need." Yes, I know that you are sooooo busy getting manicures and facials, shopping, and lunching with your friends. That's why you are always 20 minutes late to your appointment, spend half the time talking on your cell phone, and then rush out like you actually have somewhere important to be. Hey, I know somewhere important for you to be—AT HOME WITH YOUR FREAKING CHILDREN! Remember them? The little ones who spend the entire day with the au pair whom you treat like crap while you spend the day ignoring your kids and fulfilling your selfish desires. Sure, have an au pair because you work all day, but letting someone else raise your children because you'd rather spend the day at the spa is deplorable.
—Anonymous
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3
Who is to say that children are better off being raised by their entitled and selfish mothers? Nobody cares whose birth canal they exited, and some people would rather forget.
4
Wow, what a sexist piece of shit this is. Are moms not allowed to have lives now? Have you heard of schools? Playdates?
Moms don't have to be with their children every hour of the day to be good parents. And maybe the kids are with their dads. Ever think of that?
There's nothing more annoying than a 20-year-old childless prick telling you how to raise your kid.
Moms don't have to be with their children every hour of the day to be good parents. And maybe the kids are with their dads. Ever think of that?
There's nothing more annoying than a 20-year-old childless prick telling you how to raise your kid.
7
Hey anon -- you try spending 24 hours with kid(s) and you'll need some decompression time as well. Stop judging them. Being a mom, even a shitty one is way harder than being a resentful spa employee.
8
Possibly the most important thing for raising children responsibly and lovingly is to get the fuck away from them once in a while.
And I'll bet the overwhelming majority of spa customers are mothers; 20-somethings and the elderly are too poor to afford a spa day.
Way to bite the hand that feeds you.
And I'll bet the overwhelming majority of spa customers are mothers; 20-somethings and the elderly are too poor to afford a spa day.
Way to bite the hand that feeds you.
9
In the context of blowing off steam, I totally relate. I'm sure anon doesn't hate all her clients, and probably has good relationships with most of them. But I know JUST the type she's talking about. They're not in there every once in a while to get a break from the kids. They're in there as if it is a full-time job to stay pampered. The best is when they bring their vapid teenage daughters in with them and get them eyebrow waxes starting at age 12, grooming them for a life of trophy wifeism. Entitlement oozes off them, and they look down on us tradespeople who weren't fortunate enough to bag a rich guy to fund that kind of lifestyle. I also see these same women in the spa when the nest is empty, their efforts now desperately focused on not being traded in for a newer model now that their nominal job as childrearer is done. And that breaks my heart. I wouldn't trade places with any of them.
10
@7: I have to respectfully disagree. Maybe my kid - 15 months old - is a particularly easy one, but so far being her mom is a shitfuckton of fun. I, at least, would much rather spend an entire week at home alone with her than a day as a spa worker.
12
Geez, the next time I need a pedicure, I'll be sure and ask for the Spa Nazi. I'll have the au pair make the call when I'm done beating her.
14
@4 says, "There's nothing more annoying than a 20-year-old childless prick telling you how to raise your kid."
Oh yes there is.... sorry excuses for parents who make others *responsible* for raising their kids, then do an about-face when someone actually tells them how to raise their kids.
You can't have it both ways. If you don't want others to tell you how you should raise your kids, you should not task everyone else with setting an example for or policing your kids.
Oh yes there is.... sorry excuses for parents who make others *responsible* for raising their kids, then do an about-face when someone actually tells them how to raise their kids.
You can't have it both ways. If you don't want others to tell you how you should raise your kids, you should not task everyone else with setting an example for or policing your kids.
15
A woman's place is not strictly "in the home." Thanks for the flashback to the 1950s. Instead of letting yourself get so worked up over their business, why can't you be glad that the kids are being raised by an au pair instead of people who you find completely deplorable?
16
@4: Interesting assumption that Anon is 20 years old. (Hint: reread the first line.) Also interesting assumption that Anon is childless (and you know this...how?) As hard as this may be to believe, there are rich, spa-frequenting people who are also shitty, neglectful parents. Shitty parenting, contrary to stereotype, is not confined to the unwashed masses, the main difference being that rich shitty parents can afford au pairs and nannies, so the neglect is mostly the emotional kind. (Not saying that anyone who hires someone to take care of their kids is neglectful, mind you, just that money can go a long way towards hiding dysfunctionality.)
18
ANON, are you a deadbeat dad preaching a sermon?
Is a chandelier going to start shaking dangerously over everyone's heads, especially those of us who AREN'T at home 24/7 with the kids? Help! Help! Let's call the shitty mom police!
@15: I may be dysfunctional, but I agree with suddenlyorcas. Spot on!
Is a chandelier going to start shaking dangerously over everyone's heads, especially those of us who AREN'T at home 24/7 with the kids? Help! Help! Let's call the shitty mom police!
@15: I may be dysfunctional, but I agree with suddenlyorcas. Spot on!
20
School teacher at a private school here... and I know both overworked Mom's who do deserve the occasional spa day, and those shitty moms I, Anon was bitching about, and believe you me the au pairs are the only reason why these bitches don't get charged with neglect. Once had an amazing young man in my second grade with a spa mom. She dropped him off at school in the mornings (either waaaay late or would find her parked in the blacktop impatiently waiting to drop her poor spawn off on the fricken janitor because she couldn't wait around for Early Care staff members to arrive). He was AMAZING! Won national chess championships in his age group, was a beautiful artist, and a good student. He was sent on vacation with his Russian nanny because mom couldn't be bothered to look after him for two weeks. The year before when the nanny went on vacation, she paid his first grade teacher to care for him from 7am-10pm, and even had a few sleep overs at her house. The only thing slightly motherly she would do was drill him on his spelling words in the car (while also talking on the phone)r. He once confided in me that he sometimes misspelled words on purpose so he could eek out a little more attention from her. His dad was as old as MY grandpa, and young mom couldn't be bothered to attend parent/teacher conferences, "You know honey, I don't work, so I am much too busy during the day to make the appointment!"
21
How do you know the women that come in even have kids? I mean unless they are taking their little ones to the spa with them then I really don't understand how you can be so certain?
22
To read all this blather (both the original post and so many of the comments), you'd think that women simply reproduced on their own. Where are the shitty fathers in these scenarios, and why aren't they getting a share of the "negligent parent" blame? Oh, right, because raising children is women's work.
25
Dear ANON,
I think that your little self-righteous rant is adorable! It's pretty evident that you have no idea about what you're talking about. Have you ever considered bringing it up at your Chain-store-spa meeting that maybe that management should restrict cell phone use? Any credible spa certainly would, as a mother who frequents a spa when her children want to make her poke out her eyes (which happens when you have children, in case you pretend you know about that, too).
I've worked at a spa. Any quality spa would restrict cell phone use to ensure peace and a sense of calm for all parties involved.
Seems like you're burned out and maybe it's time to get out of the business. Maybe you could head back to school? In school you could learn to abstain from blanket statements blaming mothers for all of your bad days at a job you hate. Not saying that those women may not be obnoxious. But your indignant, self-righteous style itself is pretty obnoxious, too.
@4: right on!
I think that your little self-righteous rant is adorable! It's pretty evident that you have no idea about what you're talking about. Have you ever considered bringing it up at your Chain-store-spa meeting that maybe that management should restrict cell phone use? Any credible spa certainly would, as a mother who frequents a spa when her children want to make her poke out her eyes (which happens when you have children, in case you pretend you know about that, too).
I've worked at a spa. Any quality spa would restrict cell phone use to ensure peace and a sense of calm for all parties involved.
Seems like you're burned out and maybe it's time to get out of the business. Maybe you could head back to school? In school you could learn to abstain from blanket statements blaming mothers for all of your bad days at a job you hate. Not saying that those women may not be obnoxious. But your indignant, self-righteous style itself is pretty obnoxious, too.
@4: right on!
27
@21:
"How do you know the women that come in even have kids? I mean unless they are taking their little ones to the spa with them then I really don't understand how you can be so certain?"
You must be a guy, or you've never been to a spa or salon. A woman's manicurist/hairstylist/masseuse frequently knows more about her than her priest. I've only seen my hairstylist three times, but I can tell you how many kids she has, how old they are. I could tell you all about the woman who waxes my eyebrow's marital troubles, her kid's hobbies, what music she listened to in high school. These women know as much about me as I do about them. If I were a crappy, inattentive mother, they would know.
I think Anon probably knows what she's talking about, here. I'm sure she can tell the difference between a woman who gets away for a mani/pedi when she can, and a woman who makes her looks a priority over her children. It's not the spa treatments that piss Anon off, it's the general selfishness she sees in these women.
"How do you know the women that come in even have kids? I mean unless they are taking their little ones to the spa with them then I really don't understand how you can be so certain?"
You must be a guy, or you've never been to a spa or salon. A woman's manicurist/hairstylist/masseuse frequently knows more about her than her priest. I've only seen my hairstylist three times, but I can tell you how many kids she has, how old they are. I could tell you all about the woman who waxes my eyebrow's marital troubles, her kid's hobbies, what music she listened to in high school. These women know as much about me as I do about them. If I were a crappy, inattentive mother, they would know.
I think Anon probably knows what she's talking about, here. I'm sure she can tell the difference between a woman who gets away for a mani/pedi when she can, and a woman who makes her looks a priority over her children. It's not the spa treatments that piss Anon off, it's the general selfishness she sees in these women.
28
Haha, my favourite part is how these women spend a bazillion dollars on getting a) a French manicure, which you can easily get for $15 elsewhere b) trashy airbrushed palm trees on 3 inch long claws. At least the richy-rich asian housewives get what they pay for, each nail is an individual work of art.
And hey, let's all clap for an entertaining and conversation worthy I, Anon!
Not too hard though, wouldn't want to chip a nail.
And hey, let's all clap for an entertaining and conversation worthy I, Anon!
Not too hard though, wouldn't want to chip a nail.
30
There are have been too many I, anons lately that consist of someone making a generalized rant. I miss the ones that tell a specific and hilarious tale- I still have "I'm sorry for the tsunami of poo" on my refrigerator.
Everyone always gets soooo offended and pissy when someone complains in a way that sounds like making generalizations about an entire group of people, and rightfully so.
Everyone always gets soooo offended and pissy when someone complains in a way that sounds like making generalizations about an entire group of people, and rightfully so.
31
There are have been too many I, anons lately that consist of someone making a generalized rant. I miss the ones that tell a specific and hilarious tale- I still have "I'm sorry for the tsunami of poo" on my refrigerator.
Everyone always gets soooo offended and pissy when someone complains in a way that sounds like making generalizations about an entire group of people, and rightfully so.
Everyone always gets soooo offended and pissy when someone complains in a way that sounds like making generalizations about an entire group of people, and rightfully so.
32
By Anon's logic, all celebrity moms are also shitty, considering they spend more time on their looks and their kids spend more time with au pairs than your average Seattle trophy wife.
And French women regularly go to spas, as do many European women. Why do you think they have such great skin? They're all shitty moms, too, right?
If you want to blame someone, blame the rich husbands for choosing to marry trophy wives in the first place. Do you think they married these women just for their personalities? How much pressure do you think these women therefore feel to keep up their appearance?
And French women regularly go to spas, as do many European women. Why do you think they have such great skin? They're all shitty moms, too, right?
If you want to blame someone, blame the rich husbands for choosing to marry trophy wives in the first place. Do you think they married these women just for their personalities? How much pressure do you think these women therefore feel to keep up their appearance?
33
Funny how the Feminazis turned an article written by a woman about selfish mothers into a critique on men. Stereotypical man hating idiots can't aknowledge any flaws in some women without feeling horribly threatened.
YOU SUCK AND ALWAYS WILL!!!
YOU SUCK AND ALWAYS WILL!!!
35
I think that the commenters are being more than a little unfair. Read the article again. Anon is not bashing working moms. Nor is she bashing stay-at-home moms who occasionally come to the spa for a break from their kids. She is bashing moms who NEITHER work NOR stay home - mothers who devote the vast bulk of their time to goofing off, socializing, and self-indulgence while hired help takes care of their kids. It seems perfectly reasonable to me for her to assert that nonworking moms ought to spend most of their time at home with their kids.
36
@ Lil: You're totally right. My guess is this is exactly they type of mom she's taking about. And to all off you giving ANONYMOUS a bad time- try spending some time working in Bellevue and tell me she isn't right.
37
I thought the hole point of I Anon was to mercilessly rag on the poster regardless of the value of the post. Stop defending her :p
38
Anon is a rant people, I like how everyone picks it apart in detail like a 'rant' is a well thought out idea in the first place. This one seemed more thought out than most I have read here, I will give you that.
As for dealing with customers, there is no one with any sense that doesn't get frustrated with people (yes, the ones that pay your salary even!!) once in awhile. If you have only been an angel to your customers behind their backs than you have some issues in the mental category, I think. Talk about staying in your place.
As for dealing with customers, there is no one with any sense that doesn't get frustrated with people (yes, the ones that pay your salary even!!) once in awhile. If you have only been an angel to your customers behind their backs than you have some issues in the mental category, I think. Talk about staying in your place.
41
@22 and @7 -- I'm a dad,
honestly, for me its a lot easier financially supporting my family of 3 than being on 24/7 as a freaky milking machine. I doubt the anon even supports herself. Anyhow, have some respect for moms, you had one too. Each mom has a different experience and maybe some deserve the ability to be a little f'n late or self obsessed now and then. Perhaps a few mothers out there deserve the right to try and feel a little sexy, pretty or just not mom. Try wearing a stiff beige tripple D bra for a year and then bitch about those pretty mothers spoiling your day by being a little late.
honestly, for me its a lot easier financially supporting my family of 3 than being on 24/7 as a freaky milking machine. I doubt the anon even supports herself. Anyhow, have some respect for moms, you had one too. Each mom has a different experience and maybe some deserve the ability to be a little f'n late or self obsessed now and then. Perhaps a few mothers out there deserve the right to try and feel a little sexy, pretty or just not mom. Try wearing a stiff beige tripple D bra for a year and then bitch about those pretty mothers spoiling your day by being a little late.
42
Hi Everyone, Ok, I wrote this article and feel that I should defend myself a bit! I am 30 yrs old, married, and work part time. I stayed home exclusively with my 2 kids for the first year of their lives and yes I breastfeed too, since that seems to be an ongoing theme here. No, I am not poor either! I do think that mothers should have alone time, its the hardest job in the world and we all deserve some pampering. My issue is with women who are not good mothers and walk around this planet treating everyone else like garbage, including their children while they live a life of luxery and pampering. And k.strezo, all the spa's I have worked at are high end and have a no cell phone policy, but clients don't always abide by that rule. Specifically the kind of clients that I am ranting about here. You know the type, self entitled/rules don't apply to me sort. You can't tell me that every single one of your clients have abided by that rule. Overall, I am not resentful of my clients, I am actually thankful that I have the life I do, 2 beautiful kids and a loving husband, all of whom I love to spend time with.
43
maybe next time this said "pretty mom" will have her child(ren)in tow. They can wander around the spa, drink your bottled water, use up all of your paper cups, whine that their bored, irritate their mom...then you will wish they left their little angels at home.
44
Look, I'm a professional nanny and I work about 30 hours a week and I love the little goons I work with like they were my own delightfully hellish offspring. They're funny, charming, intelligent, quick, weird, adventurous, surprising, draining, selfish, manipulative and all around a good time.
Even if a stay-at-home mom is spending 5 hours a day everyday away from her children for the pleasure of personal activities she is with her children 19 hours of the day those days (sometimes not sleeping all night depending on the ages or personalities or training of the child) and 24 the days she doesn't have a nanny or Au Pair (THERE'S A DIFFERENCE, ANON). She's also employing YOU and your co-workers and her nanny/au pair so I'm really thankful for that.
My point is that even though I only spend 30 hours a week with the wonderful jerks people call 'kids' I want OUT as soon as my day is done. Being someone who cares for children makes you a little loopy and in need of some 'alone time'. No matter how much you love your children, mo matter how awesome you think they are and no matter how many pieces of dead plants they thoughtfully hand to you while saying 'this is for you'.
Unless of course you're one of those atypical freaks.
Even if a stay-at-home mom is spending 5 hours a day everyday away from her children for the pleasure of personal activities she is with her children 19 hours of the day those days (sometimes not sleeping all night depending on the ages or personalities or training of the child) and 24 the days she doesn't have a nanny or Au Pair (THERE'S A DIFFERENCE, ANON). She's also employing YOU and your co-workers and her nanny/au pair so I'm really thankful for that.
My point is that even though I only spend 30 hours a week with the wonderful jerks people call 'kids' I want OUT as soon as my day is done. Being someone who cares for children makes you a little loopy and in need of some 'alone time'. No matter how much you love your children, mo matter how awesome you think they are and no matter how many pieces of dead plants they thoughtfully hand to you while saying 'this is for you'.
Unless of course you're one of those atypical freaks.
45
Are you all really vilifying the manicurist and not her cunty customers with inflated senses of entitlement and no regard for anything but their own agendas? Really??
I'm with you anon. They had kids, they should raise them.
I'm with you anon. They had kids, they should raise them.
47
#46, you complete moron, Peta's sexist as shit. "Feminazi's" such as myself would never belong to them. Maybe you should do a little research before you start spewing your inane angry bullshit, cause right now you sound like an idiot.
48
@41: I most certainly wasn't saying anything negative about mothers in general. I was simply advocating for equal blame among the genders. If we're going to judge women, let's hold men to the same standard.
49
I'm a nanny, because my (female) boss works like 90 hours a week to support her family while her husband (who couldn't raise kids if he tried) mostly sits on his ass. My own parents were overworked, neglectful, & fuckin' crazy, and couldn't afford a nanny. As much as it sucks that I won't be in these kids lives forever, and as imperfect as the family may be, frankly it's just too much to ask for one or two people to completely raise any kid(s), and my being there is helping those kids out tremendously (if I may toot my own horn). Psychologically, it's better for kids to have an extended support network; whether that's grandma, Mom & Dad's girlfriend, daycare, a tribe, or an au pair. Staying home alone all day with three kids is sure to drive you batshit, and it doesn't really benefit them- if the goal of raising children is for them to grow up and give up a social and work life to miserably raise children, what is the point of life at all? Better to set an example enjoying your own life and spread the labor a bit.
50
PS: there's also something to be said for kids 4+ having a bit of freedom, independence, and alone time- it can actually be detrimental to have an adult constantly hovering over them.
53
Does anybody actually factor in the fact that these people have CHOSEN to have children? Most of them did it once and then chose to do it again. I completely understand needing a break away from the children - it's beneficial to all parties - however, don't act like they're some horrible burden that was forced on these women. Most of them (yes, the women and not necessarily the men) would have just absolutely DIED if they were denied the experience of having a child, and then when the novelty and attention wears off they are over it. Sorry, but they aren't Autumn 2004 Louboutins that you ask the maid to drop off at Medina Value Village. I especially love the arguments that the nannies make that it's better for the kids to be away from these self-absorbed twits. Here's an idea: Don't have kids if you can't stand the thought of a lifetime commitment, because that's what they are. For all of you crappy mother apologists - get your tubes tied.
54
Hahaha, I love all the comments saying that Anon, and the Au Pairs, should be grateful that these women are employing them. These shitty mothers clearly have the better end of the bargain, people. You don't have to be a spa-worker to run into mothers (and fathers) like this, you just have to have worked some kind of service job in a high-end area.
55
Actually, @46, I hope you know I was being blatantly SARCASTIC here.
I stand by @39, my statement that YOU, "feminazis should all belong to PETA", are SOOOOOOOO idiotic it's easy to ignore and avoid YOU. Do you even have a clue what a Nazi is?? What a shame. Your ignorance is pathetic. Do you fornicate with barnyard animals, too?
@47 (NOT @46): Well said!
I stand by @39, my statement that YOU, "feminazis should all belong to PETA", are SOOOOOOOO idiotic it's easy to ignore and avoid YOU. Do you even have a clue what a Nazi is?? What a shame. Your ignorance is pathetic. Do you fornicate with barnyard animals, too?
@47 (NOT @46): Well said!
57
Can't we agree that there is a difference between a good mom getting a much-deserved treat and a bad mom living a lifestyle of self-indulgence while neglecting her kids; and that the first of these is OK while the second sucks?
The only question is whether I, Anon is referring to a sub-group of the spa customers (which would be OK) or throwing them all in one group (which would not be OK).
The only question is whether I, Anon is referring to a sub-group of the spa customers (which would be OK) or throwing them all in one group (which would not be OK).
58
How do you know all of these women even have kids? Or of the ones that are mothers, how do you know their kids are young enough to be at home with a sitter rather than at school?
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