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Remember two months ago, when your boyfriend came home a little late after work and told you that he was stuck at an emergency appointment with a patient? Well, he wasn't. He was fucking me. It really was the first time that we've done it (and god knows the last--I have no idea how you deal with his, uh, skills). At first, I felt very guilty about it. I mean, I've had dinner with you. I've gone shopping with you. But now, I realize that this situation is your fault. I mean, you should know you're in a totally dysfunctional relationship. Let's list the reasons, shall we? 1) Your boyfriend is an alcoholic. 2) His co-workers know more about his personal life than you. 3) He cheated on his last girlfriend to be with you. 4) The only interaction the two of you have is screaming, violent fights about money and the dog. Puh-lease. Oh yeah, and you know those cotton boxers with the fish on them from Banana Republic that you bought him? I'm wearing them right now.
--Anonymous
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