I didn’t expect a movie like I Love You, Beth Cooper to be imaginative. I didn’t even expect it to be smart. Movies like I Love You, Beth Cooper just follow a formula that has been around since at least the ’80s—nerdy boy lusts after hot girl and decides to proclaim his love on graduation day because, you know, after high school everyone turns to dust. So all the movie really has to do is be funny for 90 minutes and… voilà! Success!

With a legacy of similar films to cheat from, I mean be inspired by (Can’t Hardly Wait, 10 Things I Hate About You, Can’t Buy Me Love), 75 percent of the work is done for the creators of I Love You, Beth Cooper. Which is why it’s so unbelievable that the film was still so fucking atrocious.

The only saving grace was the guy (Paul Rust) who plays the socially awkward, clueless virgin so well that you almost want to kick him in the nuts yourself.

The object of his affection is, of course, Beth Cooper—played by the little squat of a woman Hayden Pantyliner. And therein lies the problem: Hayden Pantyliner is completely unlikable. She doesn’t bring a single redeeming quality to her character—she’s shallow and self-absorbed, she treats everyone she knows like shit, and even when she’s having a moment talking about her dead brother, you still want to hit her with a bat.

Her two best friends are stupid, her boyfriend is a cheating, ’roid-raging military dude, she makes out with gross strangers in exchange for a crappy 12-pack—and that’s all supposed to be part of her charm? Fuck that. Even Jennifer Love Hewitt in Can’t Hardly Wait was less annoying, and I generally want that woman to fall into a volcano.

So just move right along. There’s nothing to see here. Paul Rust will get picked up for some Judd Apatow movie in a year or two, and the world will love him, and in interviews he can talk about how he managed to bounce back from starring in such a piece a shit. It’ll work out in the end for him. Miss Pantyliner, however, has jumped the shark.