Yes, I come in late to work. But no, it is not because I had an argument with my housemates, or my cat ran outside and I had to get her back in the house. The truth is that I come in late most days because I am having sex. Great sex. I wake up when I should be driving to work and fuck the shit out of my boyfriend. I'm a horny bitch and am consumed by my libido. It's too bad you hate me--I know you do, being the fat, ugly, old cunt that you are. You bitch at me for coming in 10 minutes late. But the fact is that my fantastic multiple orgasms are worth it. Sorry you're crusty and no one wants to fuck you anymore. It sure sucks to be you. Just know that 15 minutes before I was sitting in your staff meeting, I was either sucking a big cock or being fucked senseless. It's the best way to get my day off to a good start.

Don't be jealous, just be happy for me.

--Anonymous