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Jason Collins Is the Envy of Straight Men Everywhere

That's What Makes the Homophobes So Uncomfortable

Jason Collins Is the Envy of Straight Men Everywhere

Mark Kaufman

IN THE LOCKER ROOM If Collins does play in the NBA next year, I’m sure certain teammates might feel threatened by his presence in the locker room. I’ll be the straight boy who’d love to have a fraction of his physical near-perfection.

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JASON COLLINS One of the best 1,000 basketball players in the world.

As a straight-boy jock, I have been showering with large groups of naked men for decades. And these showers have not taken place in bathrooms where we straight men yell at one another from modest private stalls. No, we athletes clean ourselves in large, communal Roman gladiator bathhouses. My high-school locker room's showerheads were placed so that we boys soaped up while facing one another. And we did this soaping while standing two feet apart.

In other words, I, Sherman, a heterosexual lifelong basketball player, have seen a lot more cock and man-ass than many gay men.

As I age, my cock is essentially the same one I owned in 1983. But my balls and ass are loosening and threatening to avalanche down my body. I think I'm an attractive man wearing clothes, but when I'm naked... well, let's just say that I'm grateful I have a pleasant face. And, grading on a curve, I'm actually a relatively fit middle-aged man. All around me in the health clubs, I encounter mountainous guts that make my chubby belly look like a foothill. I see butt cheeks that look like two Sasquatches playing tennis. I recoil from feet so gnarled, hirsute, and abused that a hobbit would suggest a pedicure.

So why do certain homely straight men worry that gay men are even remotely interested in sexually harassing their concave asses? If strange women don't amass in large numbers to jump your bones, then why would packs of gay men hunger for you?

And, hey, I don't mean to punish those folks who are not hot, hot, hot. The plain and the lovely deserve equal amounts of love. I am only talking about sexual objectification.

So how do these dynamics change when it comes to the relationship between gay men and beautiful straight men? Does it mean gay men might sexually harass beautiful straight men?

I've never been beautiful, but gay men have hit on me, especially at gay film festivals where my movie The Business of Fancydancing played to slightly interested audiences. More than one man whispered his room number to me while handing me a hotel key card, which isn't nearly as romantic as handing somebody an actual, old-fashioned key and would have also relied on me being able to remember a hotel room number. When I travel, I have to take photos of the room numbers so I can refer to them when I find my way back. If I had wanted to have a one-night stand with a gay cinema fan, I would've been forced to wander the Hyatt hallways chanting, "I'm a straight Indian filmmaker looking to explore other options," and hoping that my admirer heard me from inside his room.

Once, in a private box at a Mariners game, a dude (married to a woman, who was five feet away) stealthily pushed his crotch against my blue-jeaned butt. That guy wore his closet like it was a pair of khaki pants with an open fly.

How do I react to these sexual advances? My first thought is "Men are boundaryless animals." My second thought is "Women have to deal with this shit all the time." My third thought is "How flattering." My fourth thought is "I wish this dude hitting on me was cuter."

So who are the best-looking men in the USA? The answer, obviously, is professional athletes. I mean, Jesus, Google-Image Adrian Peterson. Study how cut, shredded, and jacked he is.

Cut. Shredded. Jacked. Those are violent straight-boy adjectives that mean "beautiful." But we straight boys aren't supposed to think of other men as beautiful. We're supposed to think of the most physically gifted men as warrior soldiers, as dangerous demigods.

And there's the rub: When we're talking about professional athletes, we are mostly talking about males passionately admiring the physical attributes and abilities of other males. It might not be homosexual, but it certainly is homoerotic.

So when Jason Collins, an NBA basketball player, announced this week that he was gay and became the first active athlete in the four major professional American sports leagues to come out of the closet, I was proud of him. And I was aroused, politically speaking.

He's the Jackie Robinson of homosexual basketball big men.

He's seven feet and 250 pounds of man-loving man.

And he's an aging center in the last days of his professional career who might not be signed by a team next season.

Homophobic basketball fans will disparage his skills, somehow equating his NBA benchwarmer status with his sexuality. But let's not forget that Collins is still one of the best 1,000 basketball players in the world. He has always been better than his modest statistics would indicate, and his teams have been dramatically more efficient with him on the court. He is better at hoops than 99.9 percent of you are at anything you do. He might not be a demigod, but he's certainly a semi-demigod. Moreover, his basketball colleagues universally praise him as a physically and mentally tough player. In his prime, he ably battled that behemoth known as Shaquille O'Neal. Most of all, Collins is widely regarded as one of the finest gentlemen to ever play the game. Generous, wise, and supportive, he's a natural leader. And he has a degree from Stanford University.

In other words, he's a highly attractive dude.

If he does play in the NBA next year, I'm sure certain teammates might feel threatened by his presence in the locker room. I imagine that homophobic fans will hurl insults at him. But I'll be a fan who will see him sitting at the end of the bench, maybe getting to play a few minutes every other game, and still be jealous of his athletic gifts.

I'll be the straight boy who'd love to have a fraction of Jason Collins's physical near-perfection. And other straight-boy fans, homophobic or not, admittedly or not, will also be jealous of Collins's status among the basketball elite.

Gay folks and straight supporters have had much to celebrate recently. I am happy that gay marriage is legal in Washington State. I am happy that an exclusively heterosexual institution is admitting my gay brethren. But I'm overjoyed that an ostensibly straight-boy activity like basketball, my greatest love, is now being recognized as the homoerotic extravaganza that it is. After all, aside from swimming, diving, and water polo—the Holy Trinity of Way Gay Sports—basketball is the sport where men wear the least clothes. When playing ball, we're essentially just in underwear. Hell, even among us pathetic hoopsters, we usually play shirts against skins. Yep, one team is always topless.

I recently saw video of my topless body jogging down the court. It was a tragic version of Bo Derek running down the beach in that movie about being a perfect 10. I look like a figure eight. So I've been eating better and exercising more because I, the basketball player who loves vaginas, want to be sexually objectified by women. And men. Truly, when it comes down to it, don't we all want to be universally desired? recommended

 

Comments (130) RSS

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1
Awesome, Mr. Alexie. Awesome.
Posted by paulus22 on May 1, 2013 at 9:24 AM · Report this
2
1.vulgar.
2. never heard of this dude.
3. don't envy him anything, thanks.
Posted by tout droit ici on May 1, 2013 at 9:42 AM · Report this
TomJohnsonJr 3
Fantastic!
Posted by TomJohnsonJr on May 1, 2013 at 9:43 AM · Report this
4
"How do I react to these sexual advances? My first thought is "Men are boundaryless animals." My second thought is "Women have to deal with this shit all the time." My third thought is "How flattering." My fourth thought is "I wish this dude hitting on me was cuter.""

Excellent. My first thought it "I hope he doesn't rape me." My second is, "Why do we have to deal with this all the time?"

Unless he's cute and polite. Then I'm just flattered.
Posted by wxPDX on May 1, 2013 at 11:45 AM · Report this
treacle 5
Hilarious and lovely!
Posted by treacle on May 1, 2013 at 11:54 AM · Report this
6
Absolutely one of the best articles I have read in a while.
Posted by hassia on May 1, 2013 at 11:59 AM · Report this
7
Sherman: one of the baddest mofo semi-demi-gods SMO knows ;)
Posted by Sara Marie on May 1, 2013 at 11:59 AM · Report this
8
This was a gift. I love Sherman Alexie! (In a literary, straight-boy kind of way, that is.)
Posted by Brooklyn Reader on May 1, 2013 at 12:01 PM · Report this
9
Great article!
Posted by drwas on May 1, 2013 at 12:02 PM · Report this
10
This is precisely why I love reading the Stranger online: intellegent, thoughtful, insightful writing. A real breath of fresh air!
Posted by mr pinky on May 1, 2013 at 12:12 PM · Report this
11
Awesome!

Why can't Sherman just be in charge?
Posted by gnarly on May 1, 2013 at 12:16 PM · Report this
12
Thank you Mr Alexie. I have secretly and rudely laughed for years at the silly straight men who believe (and fear) that they are so fabulous in so many ways that they will attract many invitations and date requests from gay men in the bathroom or at the gym.
Posted by LuisitaPhD on May 1, 2013 at 12:17 PM · Report this
13
"Swimming, diving, & water polo"? How do you leave out wrestling? Singlets are technically bigger than a speedo, but there's a WHOLE LOT more "direct bodily contact". Also, he'l yeah! I'm glad someone had the balls (drifting southernly, they may be) to say it!
Posted by let me go! on May 1, 2013 at 12:27 PM · Report this
johnjacobjingleheimerschmidt 14
I dated the one on the right, DL all the way. His wife was nice.
Posted by johnjacobjingleheimerschmidt on May 1, 2013 at 12:30 PM · Report this
15
I've often marveled at the irony of the most ass-ugly, fat-greasy, Jabba the Hut looking guys thinking that Gay men are just lining up around the block to touch their booty. Thanks for putting this into words.
Posted by jawillie on May 1, 2013 at 12:31 PM · Report this
Mattini 16
@4 That was my favorite bit as well. Great essay.
Posted by Mattini on May 1, 2013 at 12:46 PM · Report this
17
It wouldn't be Sherman Alexie without a little cock talk. Great piece, sir! (teehee)
Posted by lawsohj on May 1, 2013 at 1:21 PM · Report this
18
He shoots, he scores :)
Posted by pranagraphic on May 1, 2013 at 1:44 PM · Report this
19
Great, refreshing article!!
Posted by zasu42 on May 1, 2013 at 1:47 PM · Report this
20
Haha guy here with ambiguous sexuality. I've taken to riding close to cute guys on my bike and saying things like "hey gorgeous" and "Hi cutie," or simply bellowing "nice ass." It's kind of cheating because they can't catch me, but they seem baffled. I suppose harassment is harassment, but I'm a habitual social button pusher, so there.
Posted by Carter on May 1, 2013 at 1:53 PM · Report this
21
Wow! Nice article. You hit in the head an issue I've wondered about for years. Why do so many straight men think that every gay man wants them? I've never figured that out.

I googled Sherman Alexie, I'll say he's good looking in more ways than one!
Posted by BradGould on May 1, 2013 at 2:04 PM · Report this
22
Great commentary. Well written.
Posted by dtherio on May 1, 2013 at 2:22 PM · Report this
23
Reminds me of some great advice Sherman Alexie gave years ago at a reading. If we all, the entire world, one day all wore t-shirts with a picture(s) of the person(s) we are most embarrassed having slept with. Once you saw your face on someone's t-shirt you would immediately stop caring who people sleep with and move on to more important things.
Posted by andy202 on May 1, 2013 at 2:24 PM · Report this
24
Bravo! Love the thoughts of my hero Sherman, I wish I had a quarter of your talent...
Posted by Kaoio on May 1, 2013 at 2:33 PM · Report this
25
love it.
Posted by Zaidi on May 1, 2013 at 2:45 PM · Report this
26
Sherman, Sherman, Sherman, have you never seen rugby? That is the way-ist, gay-ist sport of all. Tight, tight shorts and totally buff guys, unbelievably hot.
As for basketball uniforms, can we please go back to the 70's? Those b-ball uniforms were much tighter and shorter. I think they made the shorts baggier and bigger because of Wilt. Thanks Wilt.
Posted by Ivanaman on May 1, 2013 at 3:05 PM · Report this
27
These men were always showering with gay men before. The only difference is now they know who's gay. So both situations, they're showering with gay men. Why is now any different?
Posted by JoeNCA on May 1, 2013 at 3:18 PM · Report this
28
Great .. loved the article .. keep on saying what exactly is on your mind and don't give a flying "F" what others say. Hey If they do not like what you say ... they Do Not have to listen !!!!! Growing up ... in a world that has people that believe they are better than others; and saying we are in others eyes ... disgusting and will be heading downstairs !! However an overall amount of people love me for whom I am. So I don't listen to a damn thing they say... the positive outweighs the NEGATIVE by thousands !!!
Posted by AJspike36 on May 1, 2013 at 3:32 PM · Report this
29
Well I've been gay for many years, but I will tell you that articles like this just make me embarrassed for my fellow homosexuals. I know and love MANY heterosexual males and none who fit this bill. Contemptuous politics, grow up.
Posted by Sammy234 on May 1, 2013 at 3:43 PM · Report this
30
This explains why he didn't make it to my room back in the '90's.
Posted by N8ive7 on May 1, 2013 at 3:45 PM · Report this
31
I laughed out loud. The greatest sign of intelligence is humor and obviously you are very smart. And nice. And secure. Keep it up and we'll all get there together.
Posted by MIABob on May 1, 2013 at 3:50 PM · Report this
32
Gives new meaning to the line: "...we're more like Tonto and Tonto"(_Smoke Signals_). Thanks for telling it like it is,
Posted by sonicwendy on May 1, 2013 at 4:28 PM · Report this
33 Comment Pulled (No) Comment Policy
Andy Niable 34
Bravo, Mr. Alexie
Posted by Andy Niable on May 1, 2013 at 4:55 PM · Report this
35
What a great article - it's a cool a rare talent to be able to charitably explore the experience of another in a different position (especially if it is one in the 'normal' position looking into the so-called 'abnormal.'

But I wonder about how the language about beauty and attraction being connected to sexual abuse might present a substantial problem. The point you made was a good one: being a gay man does not mean being unable to control wild sexual appetites every time another naked man is in view. A parallel point might be made from the "the way she was dressed...she was asking for it" thinking. It assumes that the normal inclination of a man is to be of the verge of raping people all the time and are set off by too much skin showing.

The bit about plain looking folks needing love too - agreed. But there are some assumptions made about attraction that I think are a bit general when talking about beauty and perfection. More importantly, though, people along the entire spectrum of beauty are subject to sexual victimization. A better link, and I could be wrong, is between abuse and vulnerability - especially when considering that certain kinds of sexual abuse have more to do with power than they do with attraction.

Thank you for such a good piece, and for your kind attention in reading my response.
Posted by Fun_With_Teeth on May 1, 2013 at 4:59 PM · Report this
36
What a great article - it's a cool a rare talent to be able to charitably explore the experience of another in a different position (especially if it is one in the 'normal' position looking into the so-called 'abnormal.'

But I wonder about how the language about beauty and attraction being connected to sexual abuse might present a substantial problem. The point you made was a good one: being a gay man does not mean being unable to control wild sexual appetites every time another naked man is in view. A parallel point might be made from the "the way she was dressed...she was asking for it" thinking. It assumes that the normal inclination of a man is to be of the verge of raping people all the time and are set off by too much skin showing.

The bit about plain looking folks needing love too - agreed. But there are some assumptions made about attraction that I think are a bit general when talking about beauty and perfection. More importantly, though, people along the entire spectrum of beauty are subject to sexual victimization. A better link, and I could be wrong, is between abuse and vulnerability - especially when considering that certain kinds of sexual abuse have more to do with power than they do with attraction.

Thank you for such a good piece, and for your kind attention in reading my response.
Posted by Homo_Duplex on May 1, 2013 at 5:03 PM · Report this
37
Bravo, Sherman, from a big Gay fudgepacker to his fellow storyteller and heterosexual brother-in-hydrocephalus!
Posted by bigolpoofter on May 1, 2013 at 5:12 PM · Report this
38
Ooooh, Mr. Horton is threatend. Wonder why?
Posted by SammySea on May 1, 2013 at 5:18 PM · Report this
39
And what's with all those quarterbacks who put their hands in the center's crotch? Or the constant hugging that goes on in most professional sports? Who will acknowledge what is really going on, when the mindless homophobes invoke their "Christian" beliefs about not wanting to share a locker-room with gay team-mates?
Posted by Ron Ein on May 1, 2013 at 5:24 PM · Report this
40
Sherman, I have had a crush on you since I met you as an undergrad, a long time ago. You get better looking every year. Seriously. Oh, and killer article.
Posted by Parisnoire on May 1, 2013 at 5:35 PM · Report this
Fnarf 41
@26, rugby is nice, but it looks like a bunch of Jabba the Hutts playing chess next to the balletic glory of Australian Rules.

Bravo, Mr. Alexie, you are Seattle's greatest treasure (possibly tied with Mr. Raban).
Posted by Fnarf http://www.facebook.com/fnarf on May 1, 2013 at 5:51 PM · Report this
42
Beautifully said. And I find you very attractive, sir. :)
Posted by KadoTheCat on May 1, 2013 at 6:03 PM · Report this
43
"If I had wanted to have a one-night stand with a gay cinema fan, I would've been forced to wander the Hyatt hallways chanting, "I'm a straight Indian filmmaker looking to explore other options," and hoping that my admirer heard me from inside his room."

ROFL
Posted by markovchaney on May 1, 2013 at 6:40 PM · Report this
44
Why Jason Collins Is More Roger Bannister Than Jackie Robinson:

http://www.thenation.com/blog/174128/why…
Posted by Rhythm1 on May 1, 2013 at 6:57 PM · Report this
45
Adrian Peterson running shirtless is a whole google image category.
Posted by chocolatebunny on May 1, 2013 at 6:57 PM · Report this
inquiastador 46
Great article Alexie! I wish you could write full articles more often. Everything you said was true, true, true.

I have friends, gay friends, that I thoroughly enjoy hanging around with but truth be told, at one time or another, they have all hit on me overtly or sometimes not so overtly. I have awesome and attractive female friends as well and I can count on one hand how many times I have tried to wreck our friendship by hitting on them, unless it was obvious the desire ran both ways. That said, I guess better to man up and give it a shot than never take the chance. Nothing ventured nothing gained although if you feel that strongly about taking a shot, you gotta know that the chance of losing a friend is in the bargain.
My fifth thought however, or first, would have been "Why cant this be a hot chick and not some horny dude?"
Posted by inquiastador on May 1, 2013 at 8:17 PM · Report this
47
You so underestimate your level of attractiveness. I'm a married straight women ( and my husband is very very attractive - looks like Anderson Cooper!) - so maybe not as flattering if I were a gay dude telling you this, but, seriously, You got it going on.

And - this article is one of the reasons why.
Posted by eastcoastgirl on May 1, 2013 at 8:36 PM · Report this
48
Brilliant, thoughtful, wonderful piece. thank you!
Posted by SantaCruzTara on May 1, 2013 at 8:39 PM · Report this
lauramae 49
Fantastic. I laughed at the humorous way you told the truth.
Posted by lauramae on May 1, 2013 at 8:40 PM · Report this
50
You are more than good-looking enough, Sherman, but I totally get it. I am the ordinary sister of a brother (taken by AIDS in 1994 at age 35) who made the gods look like sad cases. :D
Posted by nanomous on May 1, 2013 at 9:31 PM · Report this
51
Perfect.
Posted by JKW on May 1, 2013 at 9:36 PM · Report this
52
You're the most attractive straight guy I've never seen! Bravo.
Posted by elle lowtis on May 1, 2013 at 9:39 PM · Report this
Sandiai 53
Non-homophobic straight men make me swoooon, especially if they're funny about their insecurities as well. (Hear that @33?). Oh and I just Googled you, Sherman, and you are a cutie pie as well.
Posted by Sandiai on May 1, 2013 at 9:47 PM · Report this
54
Brilliant! I"m going to read this outloud to my long-haired Native mildy-homophobic middle aged man!
Posted by Sharlet on May 1, 2013 at 10:10 PM · Report this
55
Such truth, honestly and eloquently. Much thanks! Yeah, sharing on my FB page.
Posted by Pasadenalady on May 2, 2013 at 12:52 AM · Report this
56
I really enjoyed this article. It's a clever and fun read.
Thanks!!!

Posted by gobike on May 2, 2013 at 4:29 AM · Report this
57
Freakin BRAVO Sherman Alexie!!! Why aren't you Jesus? I would totally be Christian.

Sincerely,
A Very Good Looking Masculine Legally Married Gay Man Who Gets Hit On All The Time By Straight Men
Posted by AVGLMLMGMWGHOATTBSM on May 2, 2013 at 4:52 AM · Report this
58
Wonderfully, perfectly said. As always.
Posted by She Started It on May 2, 2013 at 4:58 AM · Report this
59
You are adorable (and I don't even know what you look like) and I can't imagine why more women don't objectify you. It must be your region...come to New Orleans...we are shamelessly flirtatious! Thanks for this article. And for being so real.
Posted by NOLAEL on May 2, 2013 at 7:04 AM · Report this
60
People, who speak negatively about gay people, do not understand gay people. Straight people should ask themselves these questions:
1.Why would a person DECIDE to be GAY?
2.Why would a person CHOOSE to be picked on or casted away by their family, so called friends or church members?
3.Who would want to pick a lifestyle to where you are hated by people who really do not know you completely? GAY people do not CHOOSE to be GAY, they are born this way. If you are a straight person ask yourself these questions:
4.How old you were when you DECIDED to come out of the closet and be straight?
5.When did you DECIDED to become heterosexual?
6.Who molested or rapped you that caused you to become a straight person?
7.Are you confused about who you are?
8.When you have sex with the opposite sex is this just a sex act?
9.Do you believe that STRAIGH people cannot fall in love?
Sammoto Yomosa, Independent NEWS
Posted by YOMOSA on May 2, 2013 at 7:36 AM · Report this
61
People, who speak negatively about gay people, do not understand gay people. Straight people should ask themselves these questions:
1.Why would a person DECIDE to be GAY?
2.Why would a person CHOOSE to be picked on or casted away by their family, so called friends or church members?
3.Who would want to pick a lifestyle to where you are hated by people who really do not know you completely? GAY people do not CHOOSE to be GAY, they are born this way. If you are a straight person ask yourself these questions:
4.How old you were when you DECIDED to come out of the closet and be straight?
5.When did you DECIDED to become heterosexual?
6.Who molested or rapped you that caused you to become a straight person?
7.Are you confused about who you are?
8.When you have sex with the opposite sex is this just a sex act?
9.Do you believe that STRAIGH people cannot fall in love?
Sammoto Yomosa, Independent NEWS
Posted by YOMOSA on May 2, 2013 at 7:45 AM · Report this
YOMOSA 62
People, who speak negatively about gay people, do not understand gay people. Straight people should ask themselves these questions:
1.Why would a person DECIDE to be GAY?
2.Why would a person CHOOSE to be picked on or casted away by their family, so called friends or church members?
3.Who would want to pick a lifestyle to where you are hated by people who really do not know you completely? GAY people do not CHOOSE to be GAY, they are born this way. If you are a straight person ask yourself these questions:
4.How old you were when you DECIDED to come out of the closet and be straight?
5.When did you DECIDED to become heterosexual?
6.Who molested or rapped you that caused you to become a straight person?
7.Are you confused about who you are?
8.When you have sex with the opposite sex is this just a sex act?
9Do you believe that STRAIGH people cannot fall in love?
Sammoto Yomosa, Independent NEWS
Posted by YOMOSA on May 2, 2013 at 7:49 AM · Report this
63
I am a gay man, and I am accosted by women at gay bars. They touch, they grab, some nearly molest me. My first thought 1)I am flattered 2)She probably learned this behavior from a guy, so I will let it slide - turnabout is fair play. 3)Okay, I'm ready for her to be done with this now. 4)Maybe if I move she'll forget about me.

We are all sexual beings. I'm just glad folks are starting to admit it!
Posted by Justice Calo Reign on May 2, 2013 at 8:30 AM · Report this
64
CHRISTOPHER ALLEN HORTON....Where did that comment come from? When was the last time you went to the gym and saw a guy sporting wood in the shower (yes I know there are the pervs that make it happen) Just because a gay guy likes meat balls and Sausage doesn't mean the minute he steps in a locker room he is sporting wood. Heck go to a gay bathhouse where sex is allowed and you still see gay guys walking around WITHOUT a boner even the african-american ones...Straight men don't always pop wood when they see woman don't assume that gay men do it to you straight folk...for years Jason Collins has showered with his team meats with out sporting would and forcing himself out of the closet sooner (as we know of if he did any gay man would love to be a fly on the shower wall then) don't assume just because he came out that its going to happen now.
Posted by Anti-HORTON on May 2, 2013 at 9:32 AM · Report this
65
CONGRADULATIONS MR. JASON PAUL COLLINS FOR COMING OUT OF THE CLOSET!
Posted by AdamLesterEllliott on May 2, 2013 at 9:41 AM · Report this
66
Well written and generous article. Thanks!

But just one comment on this: "After all, aside from swimming, diving, and water polo—the Holy Trinity of Way Gay Sports—basketball is the sport where men wear the least clothes." —Seriously? Have you watched rugby? Wrestling? Over the past 15 years basketball and soccer uniforms have become so blousey and long that I'm certain I saw more leg on the nuns that taught me in grade school than what I see on the basketball court. And what's with the t-shirts under some of the tank tops? When basketball players have the balls to wear rugby short-shorts or wrestling singlets, come back for my gay thoughts on your uniforms.

Anyway, that's just my personal gay opinionated aside. I loved this article. And am grateful for it. I'd send it back in a time capsule to my teenage self if I could, just to let him know that so much will get better in his lifetime, (even if basketball uniforms will cover way too much skin in his nearer future).
Posted by Jim Kempster on May 2, 2013 at 10:19 AM · Report this
67
Amazing article. Amazing perspective!!!
Posted by Billygfa on May 2, 2013 at 10:34 AM · Report this
68
It has now been 40 or so years that I, as a gay man, have been treating straight men the way they treat women, and they don't like it. When hetrosexual men are treated like a sex object by a gay man, they do not take it as a compliment , most of the time. It takes a secure man to accept it as a compliment. Just saying.
Posted by zachlen on May 2, 2013 at 10:42 AM · Report this
69
Sherman Alexie, you are so accurately humorous. This is a great article challenging some very real heterosexual assumptions about gay men. It is true that we are out to conquer locker rooms and frankly I want to have the privilege of seeing as much dick and ass as the average heterosexual jock. Its got to be unfair that they have that level of exposure when we gay men do not. That needs to be changed...one coming out story at a time. Such fun.
Posted by Visogoth on May 2, 2013 at 10:46 AM · Report this
70
Sherman Alexie, any man who can make me laugh like this with nothing more than honesty and humility is as cut, shredded and jacked as any NBA player.
Posted by Tioka on May 2, 2013 at 12:46 PM · Report this
71
I read on the Internet, where all forms of truth and falsity prevail, that the NBA stands for National Butt-fucking Assholes.
Posted by News Hound on May 2, 2013 at 2:53 PM · Report this
72
I take issue with your version the Holy Trinity of Way Gay Sports. Dear Lord Jehovah, freestyle wrestling is right there (maybe it's a Quadrangle of Way Gay Sports?) for us spectators expectantly waiting for a slow, sensuous 3-point take-down.

As both personally and professionally gay, when the International Olympic Committee said they were eliminating wrestling, of all things, from the Olympics, I sent out word to wrestlers aged 18 to 26 in the 145- to 185-pound weight classes who needed consoling that I am available. Oh, and don't even get me started on male gymnasts.. Or college football players who wear white football pants in a steady downpour... Where was I going with this? Not sure, but I'm thinking happy thoughts now.

Great job, as always, Sherman!
Posted by Bob Fuller on May 2, 2013 at 3:27 PM · Report this
73
"62 - YOMOSA,"

AS YOU "POLITICOS" SAY, "You drunk too much of the Kool-Aid."

YOU TYPE, "People, who speak negatively about gay people, do not understand gay people." WELL SIR, YOUR STATEMENT MEANS gays FIT THE DEFINITION OF, "cult." THIS "cult" STARTED WHEN CAUCASIAN MALES BEGAN TO CONTRACT STRANGE CANCERS CIRCA 1981. SINCE THAT TIME, Y'ALL "cult members" HAVE BEEN TRYING TO TELL OTHERS HOW TO FUCK, AS WELL AS, THINK.

SIR, I AM HOMOSEXUAL - NOT, A CULT MEMBER.

CHRISTOPHER ALLEN HORTON
Posted by CHRISTOPHER ALLEN HORTON on May 2, 2013 at 4:14 PM · Report this
JLuck 74
I'm thinking that the type of the player is not at all why I enjoy the games. I'm at 29, acting like I'm 10 still towards my teams. I'm rabid on different varying levels about the Supersonics, the 'Hawks, the M's, the Huskies. I can enjoy the Sounders. I like to watch Michael Morse hit a bomb, but it's because he looks a little like Anton Chigurh killin the ball, which is funny. Not because I admire his physical stature at all. It's cool he is jacked. And I will always tell you if a guy is perhaps "handsome." It all changes nothing for me. I'm completely straight.

The reason I love sports, is Seattle has fun teams, and timeless stadiums. And my team's nicknames are awesome.
Posted by JLuck http://jordanluckman.com on May 2, 2013 at 4:34 PM · Report this
JLuck 75
(Morse is handsome and what the Mariners need next... 9 bombs so far)
Posted by JLuck http://jordanluckman.com on May 2, 2013 at 4:39 PM · Report this
76
@33 are you yelling?
Posted by tito on May 2, 2013 at 6:16 PM · Report this
77
this was the first article i read about jason
collins since the news break, even after seeing
headlines splashed across espn. i'd be curious
to know why he chose to do it at the end of his
career, but i think we can guess. as for the
comments from mr. horton, i think what he is
trying to say is that homosexuality, and the
current trend of fascination, objectification,
and saturation everywhere you turn, almost
does seem to border on 'cult'. in the end, i'm
sure many gay people aren't looking for this,
and just want a simple and low-key lifestyle.
p.s. who's the white guy in the pink towel?
Posted by Eugene Rushmore on May 2, 2013 at 6:27 PM · Report this
78
Awesome article Mr. Alexie. Thank you. And yay Jason Collins!
Posted by tito on May 2, 2013 at 6:57 PM · Report this
79
Brilliantly put and hilarious! Thank you Mr. Alexie!
Posted by pattergood on May 2, 2013 at 7:45 PM · Report this
80
I just Squile O'Neal would come out of my closet
Posted by Arthur Graves on May 2, 2013 at 8:10 PM · Report this
81
I love this article... So Funny you are!
Posted by dd39203 on May 2, 2013 at 9:49 PM · Report this
82
So, women should not have an issue sharing a shower with men as well. Correct?
Posted by Mr. Logic on May 3, 2013 at 4:56 AM · Report this
83
You are so on target and funny, too. Good luck with you fitness "goals."
Posted by Emjay on May 3, 2013 at 4:59 AM · Report this
84
Brilliant, only individuals totally comfortable in their own skin and with their own sexuality can see the situation with such clarity!
Posted by Gorden Shelp on May 3, 2013 at 5:46 AM · Report this
85 Comment Pulled (Spam) Comment Policy
86
"#77 - Eugene Rushmore,"

NO SIR. I WAS TYPING AS AN ATHEIST WHO IS DISAPPOINTED THAT gays FROM THE 1980s ONWARD HAVE CONVINCED YOUNGER HOMOSEXUALS THAT LONGEVITY OF LIFE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN SEMEN SWALLOWING AND SEMEN IN THE ANAL CAVITY. THE EXCHANGE OF BODY FLUIDS IS A NATURAL PART OF HOMOSEX.

IN ADDITION, IT BOTHERS ME THAT gays BELIEVE HOMOSEXUALS SHOULD BE EMPATHETIC TO OPPOSITE-GENDER HOMOSEXUALS, SO-CALLED bisexuals, TRANSVESTITES AND PRE-/POST-OPERATIVE TRANSSEXUALS. I HAVE TRADITIONAL VALUES.

CHRISTOPHER ALLEN HORTON
Posted by CHRISTOPHER ALLEN HORTON on May 3, 2013 at 8:30 AM · Report this
87
Terrific article!! Love you Mr. Alexie. Thank you!!

To "Christopher Horton": Dude, you are shouting. It is very rude. Turn your caps lock off.
Posted by pdxgrrl on May 3, 2013 at 8:51 AM · Report this
88
great article Sherman. Umm, I did some simple math and if you were born in 1983 (unless you got your junk at the age of concent) that makes you 30 years old! As a health club attending recreational jock you have no business having a saggy ass. Work out harder! Hell, I looked great into my 50's (I've got pictures). You seem to have a number of female fans who would probably appreciate a little tightening in that area. Oh, and Chris, I am seriously worried about you; and any woman that hangs with someone with your perspective on probably anything.
Posted by diz on May 3, 2013 at 8:54 AM · Report this
89
Sorry Chris, and other readers. That was sexist of me. I'm worried about anyone that hangs with you, regardless of gender.
Posted by diz on May 3, 2013 at 9:00 AM · Report this
KennyC 90
What a great outlook!
Posted by KennyC on May 3, 2013 at 9:17 AM · Report this
91
That was so GREAT!
Posted by NativeWarriorWoman on May 3, 2013 at 10:49 AM · Report this
92
Thank you sir for such a comically brilliant article.
Posted by jagaman on May 3, 2013 at 10:56 AM · Report this
93
Wonderful article. Must read more by Sherman Alexie.
Posted by goddessofmusic on May 3, 2013 at 1:47 PM · Report this
KingofQueenAnne 94
It was so strange for me when I arrived in Seattle as a formerly closeted, formerly Mormon gay guy to come to the realization that most authentically straight men didn't give a shit if I were gay, or even if I were attracted to them. Previously, I had thought that all straight men would assume I was mentally undressing them at all times.

Around that time I got drunk on my stoop one night w/ two straight neighbors. One asked if I though the was attractive. I effusely reassured him that, no, I wasn't. Then he got agitated and said "why the fuck not?"

Come to think of it, that was also the first night I learned the difference between red and white wine. My, I had to do a lot of catching up.
Posted by KingofQueenAnne http://blingeejesus.blogspot.com on May 3, 2013 at 5:46 PM · Report this
95
Sherman, I don't live in Washington State, though I celebrate the wisdom of the citizens there who helped to make marriage possible for all Washingtonians, gay or straight. I am a gay man, retired, and living in Florida (where else?) and legally married to my husband of 30 years -- married in NY. I am so proud of all the advances we have seen in acceptance of gay and lesbians these past years, and only wish it could be faster. But I loved your article because it reminded me so much of my days in school in the shower room where so many gorgeous young men were showering together and not thinking about it as a "bad" thing. Later, they would leave the shower room and hurl hurtful epithets and curses at the fags in the school, without thinking about how that would hurt and scar some of them.

And people like Chris, what can we say? Ill-informed or closeted homophobic. Gay people have been around since the dawn of man, not just since the 1980s when AIDS became the scourge of the pretty boys who liked to fuck. Oh well, bravo to your article. It really hit the nail right on the head! Loved it! And you are cute, btw!
Posted by marvc on May 3, 2013 at 11:13 PM · Report this
96
To answer your question: Straight men are incapable of believing that *everybody* isn't lusting after them. Here's a test: come out to a straight guy. Then tell him you aren't attracted to him. Response, 100% of the time? "Why not?"
Posted by Reverend Mik on May 4, 2013 at 12:12 AM · Report this
97
I've recently become a fan of Sherman Alexie and it's nice to hear about this topic from someone who is both a sports fan and an supporter of gay rights.
Posted by StopKing on May 4, 2013 at 1:08 PM · Report this
98
Could someone please tell me why they are treating the fag like he's some hero? And why did Obama feel the need to call him and compliment him on his courage? Everyday this guy makes me regret my vote. These next 4 years can't go by quick enough. So that's what it takes to be a hero in this country? Let another guy do you in the azz? This is just fing disgusting. Yeah he showed courage alright. When he looked at another man's williams and said, "you know, I think I want to put that in my azz." Please! He's just a 7 foot faggot who happened to be in the NBA. It doesn't make him special. And I'm dumb tired of people acting like he's Jackie Robinson.
Posted by Darrell on May 4, 2013 at 1:31 PM · Report this
99
By definition, straight guys want to have sex with women.

So, Um.

What the fuck are you talking about.
Posted by you_are_stupid_no_really on May 5, 2013 at 12:43 AM · Report this
100
"#95 - marvc,"

YOU MISUNDERSTOOD MY COMMENTS. MY POINT IS, BEFORE THE 1980s MALE HOMOSEXUALS ENJOYED THE TASTE OF SEMEN, MALE URINE AND FOR SOME, MALE FECES. NOW, CAUCASIAN MALE HOMOSEXUALS ARE TOO AFRAID TO EXCHANGE BODY FLUIDS. NEGRO MALE HOMOSEXUALS OF MY GENERATION (AND, OLDER) STILL DO. IT IS CRAZY TO FEAR DEATH FROM AIDS WHEN black-on-black CRIME, HEART ATTACK/STROKE AND PROSTATE CANCER ARE MORE PROBABLE CAUSES FOR NEGRO-MALE DEATH. AS A SCATOLOGIST, I AM NOT AFRAID.

CHRISTOPHER ALLEN HORTON
Posted by CHRISTOPHER ALLEN HORTON on May 5, 2013 at 2:14 AM · Report this
101
You never explained why he is the envy of straight men everywhere. No straight man is envious of Jason Collins. This is one of the worst articles I have ever read in my life.
Posted by darkndumb on May 5, 2013 at 10:26 AM · Report this
102
Thank you, Mr Alexie, for sharing your thoughts in such an open and ironical way. The world needs brave people willing to speak their minds against what is considered "the right and only way"
Posted by Rosaperez http://inglesiesollosgrandes.blogspot.com.es on May 5, 2013 at 12:01 PM · Report this
zivilisierter Wurm 103
@100: I can't decide if this is some next-level Andy Kaufman routine, or you are actually just crazier than a shithouse rat.
Posted by zivilisierter Wurm http://peregrinari.tumblr.com/ on May 5, 2013 at 6:42 PM · Report this
104
One of the funniest articles I've read in The Stranger!!! : )
Posted by 5th Columnist on May 5, 2013 at 7:29 PM · Report this
105
I am a Nets fan and Shaq cleaned the place up with Collins. I saw the Nets switch 6'8" inch Kenyon Martin onto Shag because he was bullying Collins all over the place. I understand that no one was effectively defending Shaq at the time in his career, but Martin made it clear that he was prepared to stand up to Shaq even if that involved a certain amount of pain and possible injury. I have nothing against Collins, but the idea that,"In his prime, he ably battled that behemoth known as Shaquille O'Neal." is just plane revisionist history. Maybe in the regular season when Shaq wasn't especially motivated Collins didn't do any worse than anybody else, but in the playoffs Shaq when through Collins like a knife through butter.
Posted by Soldierone on May 6, 2013 at 8:53 AM · Report this
106
GREAT WRITING...LOVE THE ARTICLE
Posted by ptseti on May 6, 2013 at 1:28 PM · Report this
107
"#103 - zivilisierter Wurm,"

NO - THIS IS NOT AN Andy Kaufman ROUTINE.

"Stranger" IS THE TYPICAL HOMOSEXUAL MEDIA-OUTLET. ITS PRIMARY RESPONSIBILITY IS TO INSTILL IN YOUNGER GENERATIONS OF HOMOSEXUALS THE IMPORTANCE OF safe sex AND gay self-esteem. SEXUAL BEHAVIOR IS AN INDIVIDUAL CHOICE; BUT, gays - WHO CLAIM OTHERS ARE TAKING AWAY THEIR RIGHTS - WANT TO TAKE AWAY THE RIGHTS OF THEIR OWN KIND. FOR EXAMPLE, IN THE ADULT-ENTERTAINMENT INDUSTRY, Director Bruce Cam OF Titan Media HAS STATED HE WILL NEVER MAKE A "BAREBACK" FILM BECAUSE ONE OF HIS ASSOCIATES HAS AIDS. THIS FUCKJOB HAS PLACED SILLY VALUES OVER CAPITALISM. [At that point, I made the decision to NEVER purchase a Titan Film].

SO, " ... Wurm," I AM ONLY BEING REAL ABOUT MY LIFE CHOICES.

[By the way, when people dream, they dream in color; likewise, when male homosexuals enjoy sexual fantasy, they think about natural (and, so-called unsafe) repertoire].

CHRISTOPHER ALLEN HORTON
Posted by CHRISTOPHER ALLEN HORTON on May 6, 2013 at 4:59 PM · Report this
108
"#38 - SammySea,"

AFTER READING "#21's" COMMENT, I Googled Mr. Alexie's PHOTOGRAPH. I HAVE NO PROBLEM WITH Mr. Alexie's WRITING, BUT, gays CLAIM TO HAVE EXCELLENT "gaydar." "#17" EVEN MENTIONED HOW Mr. Alexie LIKES "cock talk" IN HIS WRITING. I THINK Mr. Alexie ENJOYS THE COMFORT Stranger PROVIDES, WITHOUT MAKING A PUBLIC COMMITTMENT.

CHRISTOPHER ALLEN HORTON
Posted by CHRISTOPHER ALLEN HORTON on May 7, 2013 at 4:24 PM · Report this
109
"64 - Anti-HORTON,"

YOU ARE "SPLITTING HAIRS." THERE IS A DIFFERENCE BETWEEN BEING AROUSED BY GENITALIA AND BEING AROUSED BY A FACE. THE ADULT FILM-/PRINT INDUSTRY HAS MADE BILLIONS BECAUSE PATRONS DO NOT CARE WHAT THE FACE LOOKS LIKE. SO, BEING IN A SHOWER WITH NUDE MALES MEANS YOU CAN ADMIRE A MALE WHO HAS AN UGLY FACE AND A HANDSOME PETER-AND-NUTS.

CHRISTOPHER ALLEN HORTON
Posted by CHRISTOPHER ALLEN HORTON on May 7, 2013 at 4:46 PM · Report this
110
I HAVE READ THE COMMENTARY IN THIS THREAD. I ASSUME MOST OF YOU ARE "TWENTY-SOMETHING." PEOPLE, THERE IS A DIFFERENCE BETWEEN BEING gay-friendly, VERSUS, BELIEVING HOMOSEXUALITY IS RIGHT OR WRONG. NO OFFENSE TO Mr. Alexie, BUT IT SEEMS Y'ALL HAVE CREATED THE VIEW THAT ACCEPTANCE BY THE OVERALL YOUNGER-AMERICAN PUBLIC MEANS homophobia IS ON ITS WAY OUT-THE-DOOR. IT WOULD BE FOOLISH TO TAKE SUCH A STANCE.

CHRISTOPHER ALLEN HORTON
Posted by CHRISTOPHER ALLEN HORTON on May 7, 2013 at 4:59 PM · Report this
111
so to be honest, I didn't read the article, I just really wanted to comment on the plug in for the article on the front page of the paper: "Gay man comes out as NBA Player!"
To me that's not something to be proud of, it's literally saying that you're proud that a single NBA player out of 1000s (or more, I don't follow sports) has the balls to come out as gay in this day and age. How many NBA player are gay? just one? really, you mean that statistically, there aren't quite a few more that aren't gay and being flat out pussies about it?
Now if all the gay NBA players came out, it'd be a different story but only one out of so many other closeted gay players is shameful, it's nothing to be proud of and I am saddened that it's being used as a victory.
Posted by PaulBloom on May 7, 2013 at 9:53 PM · Report this
lolorhone 112
@Christopher Allen Horton:

I'm not exactly sure what you're screaming about here but two things:

1) Alexie seems like a comfortable straight dude, not a closet case. Closet cases tend to be defensive and reactionary in their sociopolitical assessments.
2) Us black folks stopped calling ourselves Negros about fifty years ago. Catch the fuck up.
Posted by lolorhone on May 7, 2013 at 10:50 PM · Report this
113
Aaah, Sherman. Reminding me again of your awesomeness and why I love reading anything you write.
Posted by SamJam on May 7, 2013 at 10:57 PM · Report this
114
"#112 - lolorhone,"

I WAS RESPONDING TO COMMENTERS IN THIS THREAD WHO ARE praising Mr. Alexie FOR BEING A straight dude WHO IS SO OPEN-MINDED ABOUT gay life. BUT, AFTER GETTING INSTRUCTION FROM, "Commenter #21," I SAW THINGS DIFFERENTLY. "Commenter #17" RE-ENFORCED MY CONCLUSION.

CHRISTOPHER ALLEN HORTON
Posted by CHRISTOPHER ALLEN HORTON on May 8, 2013 at 12:54 PM · Report this
115
We should just have co-ed showers everywhere. I mean as long as no one is touching anyone we should be good, right?
Posted by jacobfreely23 on May 8, 2013 at 12:55 PM · Report this
lolorhone 116
@114: I see nothing in the article that conflicts with Alexie being a open-minded kind-hearted straight dude. And I noticed you didn't address my second concern at all.
Posted by lolorhone on May 8, 2013 at 3:53 PM · Report this
117
"#116 - lolorhone,"

I CALL MYSELF, "Negro," BECAUSE I HAVE SEPARATED FROM THE black community.

INTELLECTUALISM IS THE MOST IMPORTANT LOVE OF MY LIFE. AS A CHILD, I ABSOLUTELY LOVED THE TELEVISION SERIES, "Mister Rogers Neighborhood." I WILL N-E-V-E-R FORGET THE HAPPINESS AND ENRICHMENT Fred Rogers BROUGHT INTO MY LIFE. THROUGHOUT MY LIFE, CAUCASIANS ARE THE ONES WHO HAVE SHOWN KINDNESS TO ME; IN RETURN, I GIVE THEM MY TOTAL LOYALTY. FURTHERMORE, MY MOTHER ALSO DOES NOT LIKE blacks. MY SIBLINGS AND I SHARE HER VALUES. [My maternal great-grandmother was Caucasian].

CHRISTOPHER ALLEN HORTON
Posted by CHRISTOPHER ALLEN HORTON on May 8, 2013 at 8:24 PM · Report this
lolorhone 118
@117: I don't know where to begin. I guess I'll start with not seeing how "intellectualism" has anything to do watching "Mister Rogers' Neighborhood", how liking "Mister Rogers' Neighborhood" would lead a black child to separate from the "black community" (we're not all the same, as you yourself are asserting), and how a figure in children's television earned your undying fealty to his entire race. I'm a gay black man who grew up in the suburbs. I can't change any of these facts and I wouldn't want to. I've been put down by white and black people about equally but I never ascribed a total poz or neg value to the entirety of either race- because that would be illogical, or self-loathing, or just racist as fuck. Call yourself what you like, but I suspect everyone else still sees you as a black man. And they're right.

P.S.

I sincerely hope this some kind of absurdist performance art shit on your part.
Posted by lolorhone on May 8, 2013 at 9:35 PM · Report this
119
FUCKIN' GOD-DAMN!, "lolorhone!"

FIRST, I THOUGHT YOU WERE A black woman!

IF IT HAD NOT BEEN FOR FUCKIN' Barack Hussein Obama's AWFUL SKIN COLOR, I MAY NOT HAVE TAKEN AN EXTREME STANCE AGAINST, blacks - I WOULD HAVE JUST IGNORED THEM. BUT, UNITED STATES OF AMERICA IS A "White Man's Country!" IF YOUNG "COLOREDS" [PRIMARILY, MEXICANS] WANT TO TAKE OVER THIS NATION, THEY NEED TO FUCKIN' RE-ORGANIZE THIS NATION.

"lolorhone," black civil-rights ARE OVER. WHEN THE KENYAN WAS ELECTED IN 2008, CAUCASIANS LOST THEIR "white guilt." WHEN JANUARY 2017 COMES, CAUCASIANS WILL "WASH THEIR FUCKIN' HANDS" OF THE FEEL-GOODNESS TOWARDS, blacks.

CHRISTOPHER ALLEN HORTON
Posted by CHRISTOPHER ALLEN HORTON on May 9, 2013 at 3:11 AM · Report this
lolorhone 120
@120:

First, why would me being a gay black man rather than a black woman matter?
Second, Obama's skin color may have no historical precedent in the White House, but that's got shit to do with his policy-making.
Third, "The Kenyan"? And pointedly using all three of the president's names as if that reveals something about his character? If you want to be taken seriously in both political and intellectual matters, do not parrot Donald Trump and Ann Coulter.
Fourth, "white guilt" has never come close to extinguishing white racism. Things got better, but the problem has never been solved and to say otherwise is a Fox News lie. Ask Trayvon Martin's family just to start.
Fifth, I missed this wave of "feel-goodness" towards black people you're talking about, probably because the whole concept is just as fraudulent as Obama's election supposedly meaning the end of racism. Just ask Christopher Allen Horton, with his charming political advice for "coloreds" and hatred of Obama's "awful skin color."
Finally, YOU AND I SHARE OBAMA'S "AWFUL SKIN COLOR"! WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?!

P.S.

The sixth point's capitalization is not a stylistic choice. I'm yelling because you're the most insanely self-loathing black person I've encountered outside of Allen White, and your politics are even worse (which is saying something).

P.P.S.

Your comment @110 is the only coherent thing you said in this thread. The rest are batshit tangential rants I did not see coming and can't even begin to fathom. Good day to you, sir. It's been, uh, educational.
Posted by lolorhone on May 9, 2013 at 4:07 AM · Report this
lolorhone 121
I meant @119, clearly
Posted by lolorhone on May 9, 2013 at 4:09 AM · Report this
122
"lolorhone,"

SINCE YOU ARE Afrocentric, THERE IS NO NEED FOR ME TO SPECIFICALLY ADDRESS YOUR POINTS. I DISAGREE WITH YOUR WAY OF LIFE. YOU WANT blacks TO SUCCEED IN LIFE - I DO NOT. I DO NOT KNOW WHAT TO TYPE TO YOU.

BEST WISHES IN YOUR ENDEAVORS,
CHRISTOPHER ALLEN HORTON
Posted by CHRISTOPHER ALLEN HORTON on May 9, 2013 at 7:36 PM · Report this
lolorhone 123
@Christopher Allen Horton:

Not Afrocentric. Just decent.

Best Wishes In All Your Endeavors (Unless They Involve Shitting On Black and Brown People)

Lolorhone
Posted by lolorhone on May 9, 2013 at 8:38 PM · Report this
124
"lolorhone,"

I DO NOT KNOW YOUR AGE. BUT, THERE WILL ALWAYS BE Uncle Toms - "Shitting On Black and Brown People," IS WHAT WE DO.

"lolorhone," I AM NOT AN EVIL PERSON; I MERELY WANT TO FORGET ANY ASPECT OF MY PAST WHICH WAS, "black-i-fied," AND MOVE-ON TO A LIFE OF SEPARATION FROM A GROUP OF PEOPLE I NO LONGER CARE ABOUT.

CHRISTOPHER ALLEN HORTON
Posted by CHRISTOPHER ALLEN HORTON on May 9, 2013 at 9:05 PM · Report this
lolorhone 125
@Christopher Allen Horton:

Good luck with that.

Lolorhone
Posted by lolorhone on May 9, 2013 at 11:53 PM · Report this
Texas10R 126
"...basketball is the sport where men wear the least clothes."

I call Shermie on and all interested parties who wish to see pro hoops succeed in Seattle, to
demand that:

[the new Seattle team play in circa 1976-cut expose uniforms. Seattle-team NBA game attendance and viewership ratings will SKYROCKET.*

Oh yeah, and every game should start with the national anthem, followed by Afternoon Delight (the 1976 double entendre hit with the chorus hook: "Skyrockets in flight, Afternoon Delight")]*

[*Concept © Jeremy Smith, all rights reserved.]
Posted by Texas10R on May 13, 2013 at 8:34 AM · Report this
127
I JUST Googled MY NAME AND SAW A COMMENT FOR THIS THREAD [about that person's "awful skin-color"], WHICH IS NOT POSTED IN THIS THREAD. Stranger, WHY ARE YOU HIDING YOUR OBSESSION WITH ME? MAYBE, I NEED TO TAKE A TRIP TO SEATTLE, VISIT Stranger's office AND "TEST" YOUR INTEREST.

CHRISTOPHER ALLEN HORTON
Posted by CHRISTOPHER ALLEN HORTON on May 14, 2013 at 6:51 PM · Report this
MeanOldMan 128
"... the most ass-ugly, fat-greasy, Jabba the Hut looking guys ...'

I've long had trouble with this trope. For one thing, "the most ass-ugly, fat-greasy, Jabba the Hut looking guys" are known in the gay male community as Bears. They are hotly desired by many. So I don't take for granted that men *you* don't find attractive have never therefore had passes made at them by other males. They may well have. Or maybe they were propositioned when they were younger and looked different, by men who didn't like to take "No" for an answer.

I wish it were true that gay men had more enlightened sensibilities about this than straight men overall. But the rapist's mentality is widespread among us -- not universal, mind you, but widespread. This was true even when we were much more stigmatized and persecuted. It's not something that is all that visible, since passes are usually not made in the presence of witnesses. And most passes are made inoffensively, I hope. And it is probably the case that the men who express fear about being propositioned by other men are usually revealing their fears and anxieties, not their experience.

But what bothers me is the automatic assumption that such butt-ugly men could not be desired by anyone, especially not by gay men, who are (unjustly) renowned for our good taste. It's too reminiscent of the frequent response to fat women, ugly women, old women who've been raped (and this too is still with us despite some changes in the handling of rape by society and law enforcement): C'mon, who'd want to rape you? It's not funny, and it's not good.
Posted by MeanOldMan http://thisislikesogay.blogspot.com on May 16, 2013 at 8:20 AM · Report this
129
OMG... please tell me you sent this articel to Josh Barro and all of the other haters. This article covers everything and a sexy black gay male... I love this!
Posted by DXinTX on May 25, 2013 at 8:29 AM · Report this
130
What a dumb article.
Posted by Ratbastard on January 17, 2014 at 5:06 PM · Report this

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