People who know me know not to ask me two questions: "Did you enjoy living in Connecticut?" and "Why is the MLS tanking?" I can't entertain either of those questions without starting down the Road of the Endless Rant. In short, no, I didn't enjoy living in Connecticut. Connecticut is hell. And as for the MLS tanking? Well what do you expect? America is full of unsophisticated sports fans who would rather watch obese men pretend to wrestle than attempt to understand the brilliance of the most beautiful game on the planet.
Freddy Adu is helping to bolster the recent trend of teenagers taking over the professional sports world. At 14, "Freddy," as he is called by his fans and teammates (using the affectionate Brazilian tradition of referring to their soccer players with nicknames), is considered one of the best young players in the world. He's got a million-dollar contract with Nike, stars in a Pepsi commercial with Pelé, and signed a deal with D.C. United for $500,000 a year. This in a league in which most players get $30,000 a year. But MLS official Don Garber said, "He is not our savior because soccer doesn't need to be saved." Yes it does, you asshole! It needs to be saved from fucking baseball.