The week begins with the military sensation that's sweeping the nation: wife-killing. In the last six weeks, no fewer than four women have been murdered by their soldier-husbands at Fayetteville, North Carolina's Fort Bragg. Today the New York Times sought to shed some light on the Army's horrifying wife-icide boom, which began on June 11 when Sgt. first Class Rigoberto Nieves (who had returned from Special Forces duty in Afghanistan two days earlier) fatally shot his wife, Teresa, and then himself in the couple's bedroom. One month later, Master Sgt. William Wright (another recently returned Special Forces warrior) was charged with the murder-by-strangulation of his wife, Jennifer; on the day Sgt. Wright was charged, Sgt. first Class Brandon floyd of Delta Force, the secret anti-terrorism unit of the Special Forces, fatally shot his wife, Andrea, and then himself. Then on July 9, Sgt. Ramon Griffin was charged with stabbing his estranged wife, Marilyn, at least 50 times before setting her home on fire. Law and military officials say there was no relationship among any of the soldiers, and no connection between the killings and the men's assignments in Afghanistan. Tapped by the Times for their thoughts on the Fort Bragg killathon, surviving Fort Bragg soldiers named "the stress of separation" and "fears of infidelity" as primary motives for murderous war husbands. But Deborah D. Tucker, co-chair of the Defense Department's Task Force on Domestic Violence, says the real explanation is more likely linked to a history of trouble and violence in the marriages combined with husbands "who craved control and felt anxious about losing it... in Afghanistan." (As three of the four murdered wives were seeking separations at the time of their deaths, Last Days is inclined to agree with co-chair Tucker.)

TUESDAY, JULY 30

The hosts are grotesquely charmless, the format shamelessly manipulative, and the hype virtually deafening. Nevertheless, American Idol--Fox's Star Search-meets-Dachau talent show--may very well be the most entertaining TV show of all time. (Sorry, Brady Bunch Variety Hour!) Tonight we tuned in for our weekly dose of awe-inspiring American ambition and brilliantly bitchy British insults. Actually, "insults" is the wrong word. Despite his pathological insistence on expressing even the most benign opinion as contemptuously as possible, the rightly vilified Simon has yet to utter one word we don't agree with, in essence if not expression. As for the show itself, more than anything it offers conclusive proof that, with a few notable exceptions (Bob Dylan, Dina Martina, Idol's own Kelly Clarkson), white people are worse at everything.

WEDNESDAY, JULY 31

Speaking of white-bashing: After a whirlwind trial process littered with hung juries, surprise witnesses, and rampant psychosis, today a Seattle jury found James "Omari Tahir" Garrett guilty of whapping then-mayor Paul Schell in the face with a megaphone. "This was a European, colonial, settler, terrorist jury," Garrett told reporters after the verdict. "This issue was lock a black man up, lock a black man up. It wasn't a jury of my peers. I couldn't care less what they say." Garrett will spend the next 15 to 20 months not caring less in a state prison, with sentencing scheduled for this Friday. (As for their controversial "Lock a Black Man Up" program, Seattle Police Department officials say the plan is succeeding "spectacularly," and declared today's ruling "a triumph.")

··Also: Today in Bellevue, police arrested a 48-year-old man on suspicion of criminal mistreatment and unlawful imprisonment, after local authorities discovered the man's 82-year-old father--severely malnourished, partially blind, and plagued by dementia--locked in a back bedroom of the man's house, in conditions so squalid we can hardly bear to elaborate. (Those requiring an image should envision an emaciated old man lounging in his own filth and diapered in a plastic garbage bag. Hope you're happy.) So far, the world's worst son has yet to be charged with a crime. Stay tuned for details.

THURSDAY, AUGUST 1

Today brought the publication of a new Stranger, in which Last Days wrote about a disturbing pro-child throw rug emblazoned with a variety of vaguely icky "kids first!" slogans, including but not limited to If they're crabby, put them in water! "I'm sure you'll get this comment from a lot of people," wrote self-effacing Hot Tipper Nuveena, "but the joke isn't about putting the throws in Catholic churches and NAMBLA headquarters"--the two locales Last Days proposed for the throw rugs--"It's Andrea Yates." After recovering from this stunningly morbid interpretation of the If they're crabby... admonition, we immediately wrote to praise Nuveena for discovering the joke we were too dumb (or healthy) to find on our own. "I'm pleased to say I can't take credit for this 'singularly twisted vision,'" wrote Nuveena. "The comment about the rug's poem was something I saw on the net. Still, I'm glad I was wrong about other people's tendency to spread bad taste, even if I was right about my own." Bravo, you sicko.

··Also in today's Stranger's table of contents, Ian Bell was erroneously identified as an "improv artist," instead of an actor/sketch comedian. "I've never asked an audience member for a suggestion in my life," Bell says. We deeply regret the error.

FRIDAY, AUGUST 2

Today Judge Douglas McBroom sentenced James "Omari Tahir" Garrett to nearly two years in jail for hitting Paul Schell in the face with a megaphone. Key to the exceptional sentence was the jury's designation of the aforementioned megaphone as a deadly weapon, which added a full year to what would have been a nine-month assault sentence. During the sentencing, Judge McBroom denounced Garrett's "senseless act" that "damaged our community," and characterized his psychotic cries of racism as "an insult to many." "Don't lecture me," snapped a defiant-to-the-end Garrett. "You're not my daddy. Just sentence me." Judge McBroom happily complied, sentencing Garrett to 21 months in state prison.

SATURDAY, AUGUST 3

Today brought day number one of auditions for Pizzazz!, The Stranger's third annual citywide talent show to be held Friday, August 30, at Bumbershoot. Always a power-packed proceeding, this year's tryouts got a booster shot of absurdity when a "scheduling misunderstanding" necessitated the auditioning of a small handful of wannabe Pizzazz!-ers in an alley. But true talent will not be quashed (not even by the motherfucking Blue Angels), and those performers made to strut their stuff on the hot pavement of Howell Street rose to the occasion beautifully. Truly, this year's crop of auditioners raised the bar of talent, ambition, and yes, pizzazz, to a new high, and the upcoming competition should be something to see. Unfortunately, more talented auditioners mean more talented rejects, and a number of highly capable folks who would've been triumphant superstars at previous Pizzazz! competitions won't make the cut this year. Executing such discernment is exquisite agony (how often do you have to choose between four kick-ass rappers, six beautifully accomplished singer-songwriters, and two world-class, pastie-wearin' burlesque dancers?), but the pleasure, dear readers, will be all yours. Look for profiles of this year's Pizzazz! contestants in The Stranger's upcoming Bumbershoot issue.

·· Also today: Last Days stopped by the Reverend Bubba Levi Greenacres' Bubble Rally in Volunteer Park. It was nice.

SUNDAY, AUGUST 4

Nothing happened today (unless you count the premiere of Anna Nicole Smith's Osbournes-esque reality TV show, an American tragedy of unprecedented horror and pathos).

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