MONDAY, FEBRUARY 8 This week of manufactured holidays, kooky constitutionalists, and yet another psychotic shooting of a Northwest cop kicks off in Los Angeles, where today brought the long-anticipated arrival of criminal charges against Michael Jackson's would-be Dr. Feelgood. As the Associated Press reminds us, Jackson's 2009 death was classified as a homicide by the Los Angeles County coroner's office, with the cause of death listed as acute intoxication of propofol, a freakishly powerful anesthetic typically administered only in medical settings by professionals. Dr. Conrad Murray is the Houston cardiologist who was employed as Jackson's personal physician at the time of the 50-year-old Jackson's death. And today, Dr. Murray was charged with manslaughter, with prosecutors accusing him of acting "without the caution and circumspection required" when he gave Jackson propofol and "unlawfully and without malice" brought about Jackson's death. Murray has pleaded not guilty to the charges, which could net him four years in prison.

TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 9 The week continues with snow—specifically, the improper dispersion of the stuff across North America. Getting too much: the mid-Atlantic United States, with the already blitzed Washington, D.C., Philadelphia, and New York receiving another foot of city-paralyzing snow today. Getting too little: British Columbia, where nearly 170 truckloads of snow have been imported to Vancouver's Cypress Mountain in advance of Winter Olympics events scheduled to begin there on Saturday.

WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 10 Nothing happened today, unless you count the routine traffic stop that spun into an electrifying drama this afternoon in Mountlake Terrace, Washington. Details come from the Seattle Times, which reports the action began around 1:00 p.m., when a state trooper spotted a 1990 Chevrolet pickup truck driving without license plates near the King-Snohomish county line east of I-5. Upon being asked to hand the officer his driver's license, the truck's driver—a 45-year-old Olympia man—refused, rolled up his windows, locked his doors, and declared himself to be a "constitutionalist." Also locked in the truck: the man's pit bull, which inspired the trooper to call for backup. Upon the arrival of a second trooper, officers repeatedly tried to get the driver to open his door. When he refused, the troopers smashed a window, tased the protesting driver, and booked him into Snohomish County Jail for investigation of obstructing an officer, failing to obey an officer, and driving with a suspended license. "A friend of his picked up the pit bull," reports the Times.

THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 11 Speaking of antisocial behavior, the week continues with an awful story you're doomed to read about for the next few months: Tunnelgate aka Clobbergate aka Guardsdonothinggate, in which a 15-year-old Seattle girl was badly beaten in a downtown bus tunnel in front of three security guards who did nothing to stop the attack. Details come from the January 28 surveillance video first broadcast this week by KING 5 News, which captures the attack in full. "When a group of teens and young adults approaches [the victim], she appears to seek refuge by moving around to the other side of the guards," according to the Associated Press synopsis. "Another 15-year-old girl shoves the victim and begins punching her. The assailant... kicks and stomps on the girl's head. Others grab her purse, iPod, and cell phone. The guards, who have standing orders to 'observe and report,' called police." Cops soon collared four suspects: a 15-year-old Seattle girl and three males ages 18 to 20, all of whom were charged yesterday with first-degree robbery. As King County Prosecuting Attorney's Office spokesman Dan Donohoe told the Seattle Times, the 15-year-old alleged attacker was charged with first-degree robbery rather than second-degree assault because "the robbery charge is more serious and allows prosecutors to seek a longer sentence." If convicted, the young men face between two and a half and four years in prison, while the 15-year-old girl faces two years in juvenile detention. Tomorrow, all will plead not guilty. Also today: the introduction of armed deputies at all five stations within the Downtown Seattle Transit Tunnel, and a discussion of contract changes with the bus tunnel's security firm to allow guards to do more than observe and report.

FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 12 Nothing happened today, unless you count the opening of the Vancouver Winter Olympics, the ceremony of which was tragically overshadowed by the death of Nodar Kumaritashvili, a 21-year-old Olympian from the Republic of Georgia who suffered fatal injuries during a training run down the luge track. "Kumaritashvili lost control of his luge on the final turn of the course, the world's fastest, and slammed into a steel support at 90 miles per hour," reports the Wall Street Journal. Almost as horrifying: the official response of the International Olympic Committee, which, as the WSJ reports, "has blamed the crash on the luger and not on any 'deficiencies in the track,' saying that Mr. Kumaritashvili 'did not compensate properly to make the correct entrance' into the curve where he slid off the track at the Whistler Sliding Centre." Fortunately for the rest of 2010's Olympic luge teams, the IOC didn't let its bullshit statement prevent it from shortening the luge course by 190 yards to reduce speeds or from installing padding over the steel beams that took the life of Kumaritashvili. Adding goofy insult to deadly injury: the opening ceremonies, the alleged highlight of which was Canadian singer k. d. lang's performance of Canadian songwriter Leonard Cohen's "Hallelujah," the long-suffering song that used to mean something before it was turned into fodder for showboating vocalists tasked with diverting the world's attention from deadly negligence.

SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 13 Meanwhile in the Pacific Northwest, another gun-wielding psycho shot another perfectly good cop. Details on the latest manifestation of the Northwest's worst trend come from the Seattle Times, which reports that Trooper Scott Johnson, a decorated 25-year veteran of the Washington State Patrol, was processing the car of a drunken-driving suspect in downtown Long Beach just after midnight this morning when a "scruffy-looking" man approached, mumbled something, shot at him twice, and fled. Last Days is very happy to report that Trooper Johnson survived, with one of the shooter's bullets grazing his ear and the other lodging itself somewhat benignly in the back of his head. Having provided investigators with a cop's-eye description of the at-large shooter—described as an unshaven white man between 35 and 40 years old—Johnson continues his convalescence at a Portland hospital, where he's listed in stable condition. By Monday, a suspect will be in custody.

SUNDAY, FEBRUARY 14 The week ends with Valentine's Day, the artificial holiday celebrated by all coupled humans by making love on a bed of chocolate-covered teddy bears before a flaming pile of roses. Meanwhile in Afghanistan, the U.S. Marine–led battle for the city of Marja continued into its second day, as two U.S. rockets slammed into a residence and killed 12 civilians. "Afghanistan's president appealed to NATO to take care in its campaign to seize [the Taliban stronghold]," reports the Associated Press.

In other sad news: Farewell, sweet Stanley. Send Hot Tips to lastdays@thestranger.com.