February 15, 2012
Mark Hargrove Is the Dumbest Legislator in Washington State!
(But Congratulations on Making the Cover of The Stranger This Week, Mark!)
The mind-boggling idiocy shown by certain representatives in the state house last week before the gay-marriage vote presented voters with this important question: Who's the biggest dipshit in this bunch? It was a tough call, but democracy has spoken—thanks to a Tournament of Dunces conducted through Slog polls—and we now have a clear answer: Representative Mark Hargrove. He represents the 47th Legislative District and he opposes marriage equality in part because of something he learned watching a Jack in the Box commercial.
Here is a portion of his testimony:
On Sunday, I was watching the Super Bowl, as many of you were, with my family, and it surprised me, but there was a very clever commercial: There's a young man comes to his mother and tells her that he's getting married. And so you see the mother light up and say, "Who is she?" And he says, "It's not a girl." And the camera just catches the mom, just for a second, and she has this crestfallen look on her face, and then it moves on to say, okay, he's marrying bacon and it's a Jack in the Box commercial and it continues on there. But that one second of the commercial is what makes the commercial effective. In that one second, a lot of people in this country, including me, recognized something—that that mom was realizing that same-sex marriage is not the same as traditional marriage. And that same-sex marriage for her son would not be the best choice for him. And that second is what was the important message. All across the country, people could recognize that.
Stranger Personals
Congratulations, sir! You are the dumbest legislator in the state! Your prize: The cover of this week's paper (suitable for framing!), a flower from a gay florist (keep it away from Representative Matt Shea!), and a bacon cheeseburger from Jack in the Box. 
3
I've seen the clip, but it was only in reading the transcript that I got it - Hargrove has just declared bacon to be male. I didn't realize our food was gendered.
4
So is Mark Hargrove saying that marrying bacon falls into the acceptable definition of "traditional marriage"?
5
Reminds me of when Reagan was president, he would get these epiphanies while reading Readers Digest on the crapper. Sometimes I think these Republicans lack some kind of enzyme that inhibits mental diarrhea.
6
Help the 47th district send Mark Hargrove back to his couch where he can watch Jack in the Box commercials: 47th District Democrats, P.O. Box 5023, Kent, WA 98064-5023.
7
It is totally stupefying that an elected official would get his legislative direction from a TV commercial, especially such a stupid commercial. Geeeez. Makes me embarrassed to be in the same state. 47th District, please send this bozo home to pull his own bacon.
8
This reminds me of a commercial I recently saw. It was for a program on The Animal Channel called "Infested." Yessiree!! Mark Hargrove PROVES that government is INFESTED BY IDIOTS!!!!! Another commercial was for a program called "Hoarding, Buried Alive." It would seem much of the electorate is stricken with this problem and insists on hoarding BAD POLITICIANS. It's an OCD, which makes it a very stubborn mental disorder.... not incurable..... but a real pain in the ass. Can I say ass? PS. My apologies to idiots everywhere..... AND CERTAINLY NO REFLECTION ON THE DEVELOPMENTALLY DISABLED!!! (actually they'd make better politicians than many of those currently in office, like our pal Markie.)
9
Wait, the commercial specifically says it is FEMALE bacon!! And what's the problem with bacon? Wait, is Hargrove one o' them there Islamofacists?
10
Mark works for Boeing.
What is their stand on ME?
I know that Microsoft, Amazon, et al signed up for it.
11
"On Sunday, I was watching the Super Bowl, as many of you were, with my family, and it surprised me..."
I guess it would be somewhat surprising to suddenly learn that MANY people were watching the Super Bowl with you and your family.
I guess it would be somewhat surprising to suddenly learn that MANY people were watching the Super Bowl with you and your family.
12
There's an old man who comes to his mother and tells her that he's made the cover of a magazine. And so you see the mother light up and say, "wow, what for?" And he says, "It's for being the dumbest legislator in Olympia." And the camera just catches the mom, just for a second, and she has this crestfallen look on her face...
15
Gays shouldn't marry if it disappoints their parents? What a stupid argument. What if my parents decided my interracial marriage was wrong for me, and wanted to arrange--yes, arrange--a marriage for me with the person of their choice, despite what makes me happy, just because it saves face for them? Come on, mark. What a dumb argument. I'm the one who's getting married, not my parents.
17
Hargrove's people didn't agree - It was removed from his FB Page's wall within 5 minutes :-) You better believe that the dems here in the 47th will work very hard to make sure this guy is a one-termer.
19
You cannot argue with assholes like Hargrove. The ONLY thing that might possibly get through his thick head is to have one of his kids or grandkids come out of the closet. He's probably just disown him/her, but it's just about the ONLY thing that can melt an ice cube of a heart..... and it does not always work.
I was called in on a gay bashing. Five minutes after I'd arrived and was talking to the Chief Resident, in walked the parents. The boy wasn't badly hurt physically, but he was crushed emotionally. Imagine my OUTRAGE when I heard out the corner of my ear, "Well, this is what you get... This is what happens when you choose this horrible life." I wanted to bash his parents. It took three months and my throwing the parents out of my office once together and once individually. Ultimately I broke through their defenses. They loved their kid (I know, I know, it's hard to believe), but they were terribly ignorant... downright stupid. Once they agreed to LISTEN instead of trying to change MY mind, I talked till they saw they were doing more harm than the bashers.
You can only hope that Hargrove is shaken to his very core by LIFE or that some undercover cop arrests him for tap dancing in a public crapper.
Politicians like this, if they're queer, MUST BE OUTED.
I was called in on a gay bashing. Five minutes after I'd arrived and was talking to the Chief Resident, in walked the parents. The boy wasn't badly hurt physically, but he was crushed emotionally. Imagine my OUTRAGE when I heard out the corner of my ear, "Well, this is what you get... This is what happens when you choose this horrible life." I wanted to bash his parents. It took three months and my throwing the parents out of my office once together and once individually. Ultimately I broke through their defenses. They loved their kid (I know, I know, it's hard to believe), but they were terribly ignorant... downright stupid. Once they agreed to LISTEN instead of trying to change MY mind, I talked till they saw they were doing more harm than the bashers.
You can only hope that Hargrove is shaken to his very core by LIFE or that some undercover cop arrests him for tap dancing in a public crapper.
Politicians like this, if they're queer, MUST BE OUTED.
20
Did Marky-Mark not take away anything from the ubiquitous Coke ads depicting the two obviously gay bears (they’re wearing scarves!) shamelessly cavorting and sharing soda?
21
Being male or female, or white or black or whatever, is what you are. I can take a DNA sample and barring a marrow transplant – and even that can be worked around – it will come up the same every time. Using the gift of sexuality on the other hand, is what you do. There is no such thing as a heterosexual or a homosexual – and by using those terms the right-side of the aisle continuously loses. There is only people, their gift of sexuality, and how they choose to exercise it. There are plenty of rules society expects people to adhere to in terms of how they express their sexuality, and no one would win in a court of law saying, “I’m a genetic pedophile,” or, “I’m genetically predisposed towards animals.” Why then would we even begin to accept the premise that in the singular instance of same-sex attraction it is a genetic condition which is what they are, but that in all other instances it is a choice of behavior and, “wow, that guy shouldn’t have chosen to rape a helpless < fill in the blank here>” (I used that word rape very specifically, BTW, please read on.) If homosexual behavior is an unchangeable, undeniable genetic predisposition then all other sexual behaviors (think about what that encompasses) fall equally under the umbrella of “being” and “identity”, and we cannot condemn anyone for any sexual act whatsoever. We’re talking about being and identity here, not consent. If the issue hinges on being rather than doing, consent has nothing to do with the issue and all forms of sexual expression should be accepted and protected regardless of consent. After all, a person is just being what they are.
22
@21: It's cute how you think you're not a bigot. Go on, inform me how my consensual sex life is like rape.
23
Your Feb 15-21, 2012 paper. The Catholic hierarchy needs to allow their priests to screw the nuns so they will leave the little boys alone ! When two people enjoying living together should be all our churches and government should be even worry about.
Point #2, the tax-free churches should pay a one time surcharge or tax to help our countries economy get back on track. They have had a free lunch for far too long.
Edd in Seattle
Point #2, the tax-free churches should pay a one time surcharge or tax to help our countries economy get back on track. They have had a free lunch for far too long.
Edd in Seattle
24
OrangeCrush (@21), society can and will condemn many sex acts that cross lines established by statute and by common law. I have no idea where you're going with this line of thinking. Wrap your brain around this one: Not all pedophiles are criminals, and not all acts of child sexual abuse are committed by pedophiles. You'll have to google the terms if you're confused. You're entitled to your own opinion ("I don't like gays") but you're not entitled to your own facts ("there is no such thing as heterosexual or homosexual"). Crawl back in your hole and just hate gays, don't try to justify it.
25
Please remove the 'Enlarge This Image' option from this article. It sickens me to even think that anyone might be exposed to more pixels of this dumb-as-a-rock & willfully-ignorant motherfucker.
Thanks in advance!
Thanks in advance!
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