Nancy Guppy One: Hi there. You look wonderful today.

Nancy Guppy Two: Thanks, so do you.

Nancy Guppy One: Let me start by saying that I love Art Zone with Nancy Guppy.

Nancy Guppy Two: What do you love about it?

Nancy Guppy One: Everything!

Nancy Guppy Two: But what specifically?

Nancy Guppy One: Well, all the musicians and artists and dancers and writers and filmmakers you feature are fine, of course, but there is absolutely NO ONE ELSE in town who covers local arts like YOU do on Art Zone with Nancy Guppy.

Nancy Guppy Two: Uh-huh.

Nancy Guppy One: And then there's VIVACIOUS energy, your WARM and ENGAGING personality, your all-around—

Nancy Guppy Two (cutting off): What do you think of my hair?

Nancy Guppy One: I love your hair!

Nancy Guppy Two: I go to Kenny at Coupe Rokei.

Nancy Guppy One: He's clearly a genius. Everyone should go to him.

Nancy Guppy Two: First and Virginia, 443-4646. Mention my name.

Nancy Guppy One: I also like your shoes.

Nancy Guppy Two: Well, I don't have any shoe deal, so let's not waste ink on that.

Nancy Guppy One: You're not only the host and writer of Art Zone with Nancy Guppy, but you're the executive producer of Art Zone with Nancy Guppy. How did you get yourself to be the on-camera talent? I mean, Nancy Guppy is a megastar! She was the funniest cast member on KING-TV's Almost Live. She is a former Hollywood TV writer. She did the dunk tank at the 1997 West Seattle Summer Fest. She's the shit!

Nancy Guppy Two: Well, I was searching around for a host, and then I remembered all that stuff you just listed, especially the dunk tank, and I was like, "Nancy Guppy would be perfect."

Nancy Guppy One: So you signed her?

Nancy Guppy Two: Not that easy! At first, I wouldn't return my calls, but then I finally agreed to a sit-down. It went well, and then, to be honest, I had a few drinks and ended up sleeping with myself. That pretty much sealed the deal.

Nancy Guppy One: Some critics have noted that you relentlessly gush over every act that's on your show. Everybody is "awesome" and "terrific" and "marvelous." So my question is, how do you get so many awesome, terrific, and marvelous acts on Art Zone with Nancy Guppy?

Nancy Guppy Two: Well, there is no "team" in "I."

Nancy Guppy One: Wow.

Nancy Guppy Two: Think about it. There's no "T," there's no "E," there's no "A," and there's no "M" in the letter "I." And that's why America is the greatest country on earth.

Nancy Guppy One: In the solar system!

Nancy Guppy Two: Exactly! Art Zone with Nancy Guppy is like a big black hole violently sucking all matter into my gigantic gaping maw.

Nancy Guppy One: You are an inspiration.

Nancy Guppy Two: I know.

Nancy Guppy One: Thank you.

Nancy Guppy Two: Thank you. recommended

Art Zone with Nancy Guppy airs Fridays at 8 p.m. on Seattle Channel 21 and Fridays at 11 p.m. on KCTS 9, and it streams online at www.seattlechannel.org/artzone. The first show for the new fall season airs September 14.