When:
Sat July 23

Where:
Capitol Hill

The residents of this house have dubbed their party "Rager of the Lost Ark." First thing, the hosts burst through a false wall carrying an ark, nearly demolishing one of Party Crasher's plus ones in the process. Inside the golden chest are tablets bearing the Ten Party Commandments: Thou shalt not smoke in the house, fornicate, spill beer on the floor, etc. If any of the commandments are broken, the offender will be sent to the Snake Pit, a corner of the room where rubber reptiles are tossed on the heretic. Many will taste the novelty-grade-venom before the night is through.

Ground rules out of the way, things at first carry a bit of a too-hip vibe—at the keg, a woman loudly asks her conversational victim, "Are you a movie watcher, or a film watcher?"—but people are soon eating Vegan Brains out of a huge papier-mâché monkey head. The much-touted Maximum Dance Mix, festooned with '80s hits, fills the living room with people dancing as unselfconsciously as children, particularly while bouncing on a trampoline to "Jump."

As the bars let out—the gutsy hosts actually fliered their house party—the room swells past capacity. Ironically, during "Fight the Power," the police arrive, investigating a noise complaint. People fly into the back alley, shouting, "Oh, no! It's the po'!" And that pretty much makes this a scientifically proven rager, especially when you also consider the fact that Party Crasher swears he heard a couple loudly breaking the Fornication Commandment in the bathroom just before the po' showed.

Want The Stranger to crash your house party? E-mail the date, place, time, and details to partycrasher@thestranger.com.