From the Sep 13 – Sep 19, 2001 issue

News

Police Beat

by Charles Mudede

Das Sein/West Seattle/Sam I Am/Fri Aug 24/2:40 pm: In this report, articulate Officer Dan Bracher immerses the reader in the organized world of the cop. "I was working off-duty in uniform at the Fauntleroy ferry dock. My function at this location is to: expedite traffic as the ferry boat unloads, separate traffic for the loading of the departing ferry, and ensure that the first-come, first-serve ferry loading policy is enforced. Although these are my main duties, I am expected to handle any other police- and traffic-related issues as they come up. On this particular day and time, I was directing traffic when an elderly golden retriever named 'Sam I Am' wandered out into traffic, and was in grave danger of being hit by the heavy rush-hour traffic. I was able to coax Sam I Am to my POV by promising him a ride in my truck. I then called Sam I Am's owner.

"From the middle of all this very heavy traffic, two very distraught men trying to get onto the 14:45 Southworth Direct ferry came up to me, both talking at the same time. I was able to figure out that Mr. Johnson had cut in line. This is a very common occurrence, especially from Friday to Sunday. The traffic patterns are very confusing and the signs are inadequate for anybody who doesn't ride the ferries routinely. My normal practice is to explain the ferry policy of first-come, first-serve, and explain how to determine the end of the line, and then assist them in turning around and going to the end of the line.

"I have worked off-duty one day a week for almost a year at this location, and in most instances these confused people are very cooperative and go to the end of the line. Mr. Johnson, however, was very uncooperative and was yelling at me and wouldn't allow me to finish a sentence. Mr. Johnson continued to yell, telling me that a driver came up and opened his unlocked door and told him to go to the end of the line. Mr. Johnson said he felt threatened and wanted to press charges. I asked was anybody injured or any property damaged? Mr. Johnson continued ranting about pressing charges. I told him to turn around and go to the end of the line. He then demanded that I give him my name and badge number, and I told him I would be happy to do so, but first he must turn around because he was holding up the loading of the ferry boat.

"He told me he was a lawyer, he knew his rights, he wanted to press charges. I again asked if anyone was injured or property damaged, and he said, 'It doesn't matter, I want to press charges.' Mr. Johnson left me by telling me he was going to get to the bottom of this ferry system and this stupid rule of not cutting in line.

"Sam I Am was picked up by his owner shortly after I finished my exchange with Mr. Johnson."

Mit Sein/Downtown/Sat Aug 25/3:30 am: Seattle Police Detective T.A. Umporowicz writes: "I had eye contact with a white female near Sixth Ave. She waved to me, and I pulled over. She walked to the passenger side of the my vehicle, opened the door, and asked, 'Are you a cop?' I said no. She said, 'Well, show me.' I asked her what she meant. She got inside my vehicle and closed the door and said, 'I don't want to go to jail tonight.' I said that makes two of us. She asked, 'What do you want?' I said, 'A blowjob.' She asked, 'You're sure you're not a cop?' I said I was very sure. She said, 'Well, I gotta see if you have a radio under your seat.' I said go ahead. She looked under my car seat and then said, 'Okay, we can go in the alley if you follow me out of the car.' I told her I usually pay $30 for a blowjob. She said, '$30 is fine. I need something to eat.'"