Alongside the thorny specifics of health-care coverage, transportation, and free trade, there are some giant fundamentals on the table this election. Voters are wrestling with the role of government, the shape of education, and long overdue questions about corporate power. Unfortunately, we're short on candidates. Oh sure, we've got one homophobic judge, one Bible-thumping Libertarian, and one lecherous ex-governor in the September 19 primary, but when the best thing Democrats can offer in the bid to topple Slade Gorton is a sleep-inducing insurance comissioner and a corporate executive, the Stranger Election Death Squad gets a tad ornery. We had to track down this year's crew of losers, interview their boring asses, and spend weekends analyzing their sell-out voting records. So, the least you can do is head to the polls. Be sure to clip and save the handy Stranger Cheat Sheet on page 17.

The Stranger Election Death Squad includes: Phil Campbell, Josh Feit, Allie Holly-Gottlieb, Pat Kearney, Tim Keck, and Jennifer Vogel.