Music

Significant Bummers

The Seattle Music Scene's Year in Regrets

New Order once sang, "Maybe I've forgotten the name and the address of everyone I've ever known, it's nothing I regret." Well, Bernard Sumner may have had no regrets circa 1993, but Seattle's many musicians, DJs, promoters, and music scenesters have plenty for 2008.

My biggest regret of 2008 was sitting on and cracking my copy of Jimmy Radcliffe's "Long After Tonight Is All Over." And not really a regret—more of a misstep—was attempting the world's first and only Northern soul night at a dyke bar; they said it couldn't be done, and they were right! GENE BALK, EMERALD CITY SOUL CLUB

Mad Rad regrets canceling that show with Truckasauras and Head Like a Kite because of being on tour. Mad Rad regrets not drinking enough champagne with Champagne Champagne. Mad Rad regrets destroying our robot costumes at our CD-release party. Mad Rad regrets Darwin getting drunk at our CD-release party and then running up and down on cars until he got arrested and put in holding for three days. MAD RAD

I regret sounding like such a total stuttering nerd to Tom Araya from Slayer when we met him at the Grammys. DAVE HERNANDEZ, THE SHINS

I regret that after seeing Kevin Costner's The Postman in 1997, I didn't immediately quit the band to dedicate all of my time to finishing my own postapocalyptic screenplay. I regret not having my camera when I was watching Mortiis —dreadlocked goblin and master of the dark arts—eat chicken fingers with ranch dressing out of a plastic basket. NATE MANNY, THE MURDER CITY DEVILS

My Bloody Valentine: I missed all their shows in the U.S. Fuck! Spiritualized: They played here in Seattle, and I was dead broke. Nick Cave played Seattle while I was touring. Seefeel: They played their reunion show at a fest in Ukraine, and I was playing in Krakow the same night, otherwise I would have gone! Ben Frost's set at Unsound Festival: I was sound-checking at another venue the same night; I heard the man spooked out the priest at the church he played—would have LOVED to see that! Tiny Vipers' shows: I missed all of them this year—I love her music. Akira Rabelais' set at dB Festival: I was playing at the same time—almost everybody said his set was one of the highlights of the fest. Not being in Seattle (or the U.S. for that matter) to celebrate Obama's victory. Missing a train in Berlin and having to cancel a date in the Netherlands as a result. THE SIGHT BELOW

We regret not spending more time in France and Berlin—the apartments were open for us to stay, we could have been there for months; now it's cold and there's no time. We regret not getting more remixes, edits, and various works in progress out there in 2008. We regret that someone hasn't successfully sued the RIAA yet; we belong to all sorts of these organizations, and they don't seem to do anyone but the majors and platinum artists any good. We regret not having video of the left-hand-only gig Andy played on drums when his right elbow was broken and in a sling—very Rick Allen moment. JOSH WARREN AND ANDY SELLS, FCS, MASS.MVMNT

Das Llamas had a not-so-talked-about sludge-metal alter ego called Dios Lamia—I regret not getting any of it recorded before Das Llamas broke up (maybe one day...). I also regret beer-bonging Disaronno in Sacramento while on tour. KERRY ZETTEL, SEE ME RIVER

I regret being a suspect in the case of our van being left unlocked resulting in our stuff getting stolen in Italy. I regret only making it out to Giggles once this year. I regret not being able to move out of Seattle for the 11 crummy months of the year. I regret not going to hot yoga as much as Gary [from] Partman Parthorse. I regret when people I really like ride the white witch and give me the creeps. LARS FINBERG, THE INTELLIGENCE

My biggest regret of 2008 was attending the Winter Music Conference in Miami. It was my first time going to the conference and Miami, both of which were a complete waste of time, money, and brain cells. SEAN HORTON, NORDIC SOUL, DECIBEL FESTIVAL

I regret the labels that approached us in 2008 didn't offer better deals—wine and dine us before ya stick it in, y'all! I regret buying cigarettes and alcohol for New Faces while on tour, because those kids do not need my help to party, trust me. I regret being nice to awful bands full of elitist assholes. I regret that some certain unnamed members of the band wore flip-flops for a show. Ick! I regret that 2008 was the year of the pretty "choir boy" voice in music. My voice is anything but pretty or boyish, but I'm okay being the next Neil Diamond. I regret not being able to seduce the other male band members in Man Plus. Though we are all happily coupled, every member of my band is unbelievably sexy and hung like a horse. I regret paying for a hotel room with my boyfriend while on tour and not having sex—what the fuck was the point?!?! I regret not going to more shows, but now that grad school is over, I promise to get out more! I regret not working with the wonderful people in Man Plus sooner. Had we all started making music earlier, we would be ruling the world by now, but I guess I'll have to settle for owning 2009 with our upcoming record. Let the buzz begin. JARED MILLS, MAN PLUS

We regret the Pleasureboaters breaking up, the parking lot where the Cha Cha used to be, and playing shows in Reno (very regrettable). FERAL CHILDREN

I regret disparaging intelligent design, because Sarah Palin could not possibly be accidental. That human is proof that God is real and trying to commit suicide. I also regret not discovering the wonders of Spokane much sooner. Long story, short attention span. BARFLY, THE SATURDAY KNIGHTS

I regret not playing very many all-ages shows in Book of Black Earth in 2008. The few we played kicked so much ass, we will be doing only them from now on. TJ COWGILL, BOOK OF BLACK EARTH

I regret the number of shows I have played with my zipper undone over the past year, and also that I usually wear my guitar high enough to advertise that fact. KIMBERLY MORRISON (AKA THE DUTCHESS), THE DUTCHESS AND THE DUKE

I regret the time Stefan and I ate a mango soaked in acid and Stefan drove the van off to Burger King and I tried to stop him by hanging on to the back of the van, crying and yelling at him to stop, telling him cheeseburgers weren't worth my pain, and then I fell off, breaking my ankle and smashing my face. BRENDHAN BOWERS, THE PHARMACY

The Coconut Coolouts regret that guitarist Harry Steams did not cash a huge check written out to the band. Harry Steams from the Coconut Coolouts really, really regrets not spending that money on video games and Snoop Dogg porn videos. THE COCONUT COOLOUTS

I regret when I was taken to jail at SXSW (for doing nothing). I also regret crying in jail—that was totally planned, and I thought they might let me out 'cause they felt sorry for me. I also regret missing my flight home because of this. I regret getting into a fight with Mike de Leon. I regret my friend getting bit by a lesbian at the Justice show at Neumos. MICHAEL YUASA, CLUB POP

I regret that I didn't eat at the taco trucks more. STEVEN SEVERIN, NEUMOS

My biggest regret is that I didn't get to see Van Halen with David Lee Roth on this last tour. It sold out in less than eight minutes. Luckily, I'd seen them before back in the day... but still. KIM WARNICK, THE FASTBACKS

I regret, in no particular order: missing all of SIFF this year, missing the first Clubhouse After Hours, not getting tickets in advance to M83/School of Seven Bells, not focusing enough on learning the guitar, sitting through all of Synecdoche, New York, watching a full episode of House, wasting a considerable amount of time procrastinating, drinking that last Scotch and soda of the night, the many cigarettes that I have bummed from people who have grown to hate me, putting up with something for too long that was destined to not work out. JEFF MCILWAIN, LUSINE

Same-Sex Dictator regrets that very few regret-worthy things happened to us in 2008. We especially regret this because we expect 2009 to be rife with regrets and big (HUGE) financial losses. SAME-SEX DICTATOR

NO REGRETS!!! LUCAS TILLMAN, BOW + ARROW

A Regrets Villanelle

The consummation e'er will chase the kiss

Fond destiny to in her pallet stay

For him that falls in love with Nemesis

Ecstatic, drunk, his hand upon her wrist

The score engraved, his life's blood grand display

The consummation e'er will chase the kiss

Her mouth cooks coal fingers to diamond fists

His crown will yield to no night's cloaked affray

For him that falls in love with Nemesis

The chalice touched with each emblazoned tryst

Gilt-edge to lips stained heavy blackish gray

The consummation e'er will chase the kiss

The days of future memory unsubsist

The faces of his children shed away

For him that falls in love with Nemesis

Yet "sicker than your average" he'll persist

To reign in hell or in death-bunker lay

The consummation e'er will chase the kiss

For him that falls in love with Nemesis

SAM MICKENS, THE DEAD SCIENCE

I sincerely regret eating that bad mayonnaise. MICHAEL OHLENROTH, WALL OF SOUND RECORDS

We regret not getting to meet Brooke and Monti from Movin' 92.5. We regret drinking Thee Emergency's Bumbershoot beer. We regret not buying Chris Travis 10 more birthday drinks. We only sort of regret playing in a bar that was open until 4:00 a.m. in Little Rock, but we totally regret having to leave that bar at 5:00 a.m., sleep at a rest stop for an hour, and drive seven hours to Granite City for the next day's show. We regret having to talk to some weirdo archaeologist in Arcata about how unrealistic he thought the new Indiana Jones movie was. We regret thinking that 5-Hour Energy would help us play better on the radio in California. Most of all, we regret having our van stolen this year, only to have it recovered long enough to use it for a few weeks before it was totaled in an accident on the rain-soaked streets of Seattle. We were just shy of 200,000 miles. SPEAKER SPEAKER

I regret waking up next to my toilet on the first day of this year. I regret shaking a road sign in Middle America and ending up in the drunk tank for 10 "fun" hours. I regret urinating in my own mouth for money and then having to answer to Jeff Leonard, as he IS the original creator of this "fun" trick. I regret finding money and blowing it on "fun" instead of using it for food. I regret not having enough fun but somehow having too much. I regret coming home at night smelling like pizza (not fun). I regret that afternoon in June, when I snipped off the ends of my mustache that I had grown for seven months. I'll miss you, my "fun" friend. ZACHE DAVIS, ROUGH KIDS, EX-GIRLS, EX-CUTE LEPERS

I regret I still haven't deleted my Friendster account. I regret I'm still terrible at remembering names. I regret the amount of money I spent on vinyl this year. I regret that the only time I saw the sun rise this year, I was stuck in traffic. I regret the unhealthy ratio of days I never left the house to those I did. I regret I will not be answering any more questions that start with "why." I regret I wasted two hours of my life watching Be Kind Rewind. I regret I mysteriously lost three hubcaps this year (in Chapel Hill, Portland, and ???). I regret my lack of pho consumption this year. I regret I will not be listening to any MP3s encoded at less than 320 kbps any more. I regret I've been drinking four cups of coffee a day. I regret I still haven't joined Twitter. I regret not owning any Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers on vinyl. I regret that's all I've got. ERIC ELBOGEN, SAY HI

I regret breaking down in Vegas on our tour. I regret letting Omar give driving advice. I regret not taking our singer's perfectly working van. I don't regret the first two days we had in Vegas. I do regret the following three days in Vegas when we all ran out of money at the blackjack tables. I regret sleeping in Henderson, Nevada, two nights in a row in a casino that looked and smelled like bigfoot's dick. I do NOT, however, regret going on the road playing rock and muthafuckin' roll. JOHNNY BLACKOUT, SUNDAY NIGHT BLACKOUT

I regret that the sound guy at our recent show at the Comet was unable to solve the problems with feedback from the vocal microphones. I also regret that the audience at said show was a bunch of studio gangstas who wouldn't know a quality jam if it tore up their Crystal Castles tickets. I regret not being able to tear more shoes off of crowd surfers during the Superchunk set at Bumbershoot (just be glad I couldn't reach your wallet). I regret that the fall and winter are such lousy times to release albums, otherwise ours would already be out. I regret turning down so many shows on weeknights headlining over bands I've never heard of, but I would regret it even more if I killed someone on a forklift at 6:00 a.m. after two hours of sleep. I regret shaving my beard off for a week—that was dumb. Finally, I regret the fact that the Bismarck aren't millionaires yet—pull the cotton out of your ears, people! JAMES FRASER BURNS, POLICE TEETH

We regret not playing more house parties. We also regret not getting hip to Baller Blockin until only a few months ago—that shit's been around since when? 2000? Eight wasted years. We really regret playing in Great Falls, Montana. Our biggest regret, however, is that time we were accused of lying to a club booker and saying we did a split 7-inch with whatever band it was we wanted to play with—that's a brilliant fucking idea, and we were mortified that we hadn't come up with the scam ourselves. CHK MINUS

I regret not going to nearly enough live shows. I regret not keeping in touch with my family as much as I should—they are amazing and out of state. I regret drinking a bit too much wine (and whiskey). I regret not telling Mark Mercer what I thought of the H Is for Hellgate album before I lost my chance. I regret not shamelessly plugging my bands, We Wrote the Book on Connectors and H Is for Hellgate, nearly enough. I regret not hearing Mt. St. Helens Vietnam Band until a couple months ago—amazing. I regret not writing enough music and not making enough art in general—this is something I will strive to spend most of my time on in 2009. I regret not saying "Hooray!" more often—it always makes me feel better. I regret not eating more broccoli—yummy and healthy! To keep things positive, here are things I don't regret at all: getting married to the lovely Emily Rose, getting to play music in two amazing bands and releasing great albums with both of them, being part of an amazing music community in a great city, friends, family, and, last but not least, the election of Barack Obama, which helps remind me that maybe we're not all screwed after all. Hooray! BEN "HOORAY!" BAIER, WE WROTE THE BOOK ON CONNECTORS, H IS FOR HELLGATE

We have no regrets... we were perfect in 2008. GARY SMITH, PARTMAN PARTHORSE

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