One day, a man returns home and learns that his wife is leaving him for a new lover. The man is stunned; he has been with the woman for two decades. They have kids, a cute dog, and a comfortable house. The man makes an appeal to the woman's heart, hoping that some part of it still contains him and some happy memories from the earlier and brighter years of their marriage. But every part of the woman's heart is dark and without him. She no longer loves her husband. He is nothing special. His words and presence do not stir any feelings of desire in her. The thrill is gone for good.

The man is Colin Diamond (Ray Winstone), and one gathers that he is a retired gangster. In this respect, Diamond is very much like Gary "Gal" Dove in Sexy Beast, a film written by the same people who wrote 44 Inch Chest—Louis Mellis and David Scinto. Not only are both characters (Diamond and Dove) retired gangsters, but their normal and satisfied lives are suddenly and dangerously disrupted. In the case of Dove, the disruption comes in the form of a heartless and menacing gangster (Ben Kingsley). In the case of Diamond, it's in the form of his wife and her new lover. Dove's disruption, however, does not threaten his marbles: His mind, wit, and sanity are still intact. Diamond, on the other hand, completely loses his marbles and turns to his mates—men from the underground—for emotional support.

In walks the best thing about this movie: Old Man Peanut (John Hurt). His mouth overflows with the foulest words in the language, and time and crime have managed to erase all that was once pleasant and fair in his face. He is all wrinkles, spittle, and bile; he is angry all of the time; and he is already fed up with Diamond's moaning and groaning about how his wife left him. Old Man Peanut can't believe it: a grown man crying for a woman—A FUCKING WOMAN! In the tough world he came from, there was no patience for this sort of emotional stuff. When he looks at pitiful Diamond, the only thing he can see is how far the mighty have fallen.

The movie mostly happens in a room with a wardrobe. This is The Gangsters, the Bitch, and the Wardrobe. But if this particular wardrobe is opened, what one will find is not another world filled with fantastic animals, but the beaten and bruised lover—the man who is fucking Diamond's life/wife, the man who has a place in her heart. He is young, French, handsome, and a waiter at a restaurant. Old Man Peanut and the other men gathered from the underground want Diamond to kill the lover and the wife. They want him to do it sooner rather than later—it's getting late and they're getting tired. But Diamond does not know what to do. All is confusion. He wants to kill, destroy, have his wife back, do anything for her, kiss her feet, choke her neck, hit her face, kill her lover, love her forever. He can't hold back the tears. He almost has a heart attack. And, yes, this is a comedy. An excellent comedy.

The word that is at the center of the comedy is "cunt." I believe this film has used the curse word more than any other film in history—cunt this, cunt that, everywhere a cunt, cunt. I even believe the word "prick" is not used once, nor the word "asshole." No other word seems to get down to the mud and muck of it. But what, really, is this comedy about? The dangers of lovesickness? The pain of a broken heart? The consequences of not being faithful? No, the answer is this: the tyrannical nature of a marriage.

The husband, it must not be forgotten, is a retired gangster. He has used violent force to get things that are protected by the law. This man, the once-brutal gangster, is the one who discourses (roars) about being faithful, being honest, being true, being in love, the significance of the marriage contract, the raising of children, the patience that's needed to make a healthy and thriving union. He goes on and on about how the marriage is a garden that must be managed, tended, and cherished.

And this is the true genius of 44 Inch Chest: If a normal husband—a man with a regular job and no history of violence—were to say the same things, we would not notice the cruelty of the demands a marriage places on a person. With Diamond, we see directly the tyranny of being faithful, dedicated, and loving.