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The Green Hornet: What a Dick!

The Green Hornet: What a Dick!
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Wow. The Green Hornet is a fucking DICK, right? I mean, I get that that’s kind of the point of the Green Hornet—this is Kato’s story, or at least it should be—but it’s not easy to watch. In case you’re not up to speed on the story line here, Britt Reid (Seth Rogen, who also produced and wrote the screenplay) is the drunken gadabout son of a billionaire newspaper editor (HA!). In a clumsy opening scene that screams “BACKGROUND EXPOSITION!!!” a prepubescent Britt is chastised by his asshole dad: “Here we are again. Sent home after another schoolyard fight. I know you miss your mother. So do I… Not a week goes by without you finding yourself in some kind of trouble.” Cut to a decade or so later, and Britt has taken his dad’s words to heart and become just what was expected of him: an irresponsible, troublemaking, model-banging, hyperentitled nothing.

When Britt’s dad is found dead from a bee sting (later, in a funny scene, Britt unsuccessfully pitches “THE GREEN BEE” as his possible supermoniker), he teams up with Dad’s chauffeur/mechanic/barista/ride-pimper Kato (he’s basically the Xzibit of Shanghai, you guys) and starts trying to “fight crime” like a complete dumbass. Their journey is ignoble and meta—the dudes don’t care about helping people so much as getting attention and blowing shit up, and the whole thing is as much a comment on the silliness of superhero legends as it is a superhero legend in itself.

Basically, the structure is this: Britt runs around making obnoxiously stupid mistakes, then Kato (Jay Chou—funny, deadpan) bails him out. Then Britt, ever ungrateful, yells at Kato for no reason. Then Kato invents some insane rocket launcher thingy to stick on top of their car. Then Britt tells Kato that he’s a stupid piece of shit. Then Kato saves Britt’s ass again. KATO. LISTEN. THIS IS AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP. You can do better! You don’t need this, man!

Anyway, eventually (right when you’ve reached your limit) Britt goes through the old epiphany-remorse-redemption cycle and figures out how to be a person. And in the meantime, there are enough genuinely funny, self-aware gags and throwaway lines to keep you entertained even when Britt is murdering drug dealers in cold blood for sport (seriously, guys?). James Franco cameos as a meth dealer with a see-through piano. Actual LOLs. recommended

 

Comments (7) RSS

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Bub 1
"LISTEN. THIS IS AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP." That's exactly what I wanted to yell at the woman in Greenberg. God, I hated that movie.
Posted by Bub on January 15, 2011 at 12:42 PM · Report this
2
And this, coming from the vampire on that one weird episode of Buck Rogers....
Posted by Budda Budda Budda on January 17, 2011 at 10:46 AM · Report this
3
@1 Greenberg is great. They don't really have an abusive relationship because they never actually date, they just bang a few times. He's a dick to everyone.
Posted by Amanda on January 18, 2011 at 1:09 AM · Report this
Andy_Squirrel 4
geez, what the fuck are you doing Michel Gondry?? Good god man, wake up.
Posted by Andy_Squirrel on January 19, 2011 at 11:51 AM · Report this
5
GAGS seem to sum it up in a nutshell.
Posted by woofy on January 19, 2011 at 11:52 AM · Report this
6
@4... i had no clue this was directed by gondry. i have to agree this is a huge step down for him, and his artistic integrity. but i guess you gotta submit to mainstream revenue generators every so often to keep the money flowing. you go from "eternal sunshine of the spotless mind" and "the science of sleep"... to "the green hornet"... ouch. let's keep the faith regarding his next flick.
Posted by Eugene Rushmore on January 20, 2011 at 9:31 PM · Report this
Andy_Squirrel 7
@6 you forgot the poop nugget that is "Be Kind Rewind"

the man need to reunite with Charlie Kaufman like whoa.
Posted by Andy_Squirrel on January 21, 2011 at 11:55 AM · Report this

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