This article has been updated since its original publication.
Since I understand completely how distressed and disappointed you were last week when Adore Delano was FORCED by the fickle fingers of fate to flake out on us and reschedule her Seattle appearance for some time far, far away in a misty and uncertain future, I’m tickled as a pickle to report that the bearded freak from last season of RuPaul’s Drag Race known as MILK (and sometimes as MILK QUEEN, and other times as HUBBA-HUBBA, GET OVER HERE AND SIT ON MY FACE, HOTTIE—but usually only when he’s not in drag and is just sitting there being his scorching-hot boy self, Dan Donigan) will be alllll over this weekend to heal our wounded souls—and NOT ONLY at the yacht party on Sunday (see below, god damn it!), but at a super-secret, yet-to-be-announced (and did I mention SUPER-SECRET?) event on Saturday night that is so SUPER-SECRET (!!) that I’m not even going to TELL YOU ABOUT IT here, and you are just gonna have to keep your dazzling peepers on the SLOG (specifically on Friday!) to learn what the hell it is. SO DO THAT! PEEL YOUR PEEPERS! On Friday! (You might even win tickets to the thing! For reals!) But in the meantime! Let’s focus on the sleaze at hand: Tonight, the Eagle is throwing the Black Friday fetish party, and you definitely want to be there, you big whore. Now! There was a time, not long past, in which the raunchy old Eagle seemed to have lost its teeth and been tragically tamed from its deliciously salacious beginnings. However! I assure you that the old girl is back on the perverse pony and getting naughtier by the second. And tonight underscores that issue, and specifically celebrates all naughty things S&M and bondage and such. (BYOH—Bring Your Own Harness.) All kinksters and the kinky-adjacent are encouraged to get down and dirty and let their freak flags fly! With DJ Dana Dub and friends. Kinky, kinky friends. (You can have this beer when I’m done with it.) The Eagle, 9 pm, $5/free in fetish attire, 21+.
MILK'S ON A BOAT
It's MILK at sea! (Or, more truthfully, at lake—Lake Union—but whatever.) Now, I know you know that these crazy yacht parties have become an institution this summer, and if you haven't, you'd better hightail your big gay fanny to one before the summer dies hard and you are left regret-filled and yacht-less forever. And since MILK is on this one, I think your choice is pretty obvious. Hot, scantily clad mens! Boozes! DJs! Drag queens! All trapped together on a boat. Imagine. (Management just kindly requests you don't get shitfaced and cannonball off the boat to your watery death, please, kthx.) Cohosted by the stunning and rather frightening drag coven known as the Markos Sisters! The Islander Yacht, 3–7 pm, $25 adv, 21+.
GAY GEEKS AND GAYMERS
And later! It's the sixth annual Pink Party Prime! It's all bound up with this weekend's PAX gaming convention, and it's a rare opportunity for gay geeks of every stripe to emerge blinking from their game-holes. Game tables! Drinking! Dancing! Sexy, sexy cosplay! In fact, there's a $1,000 prize for best costume, and even a VIP lounge and dedicated gaming space, because, duh, it's a party for gamers. And that's what they do. Game. Featuring DJs Krot and Futurewife. Neighbours, 9 pm, $15/$30 VIP, 21+.