PEACHES

This is THE big event this week, and not to be missed unless (a) you are on fire, or (b) you are MORE on fire. Peaches is the headliner (she'll be DJing her own beats and performing her little head off), but the lineup of openers is equally stellar: the sexy, sexy Secret Shoppers (yes, sexy, SEXY), the inimitable Ononos, glitterbangy Glitterbang, and even DJ Colby B is flying in from NYC just for it. Here's to Peaches—and her big, sexy, inimitable, glittery, flight-bound opening! Neumos, 8 pm, $20, 21+.

DIESEL

Oh, bears. Aren't they the darlingest little big things? And tonight we visit the new bar just for them and their would-be trappers. The place actually grand-opened last night, but as you were busy at Peaches, there is no sense arguing about it. (Unless, of course, you can bilocate, which means you're a witch, not a bear, and would be far better off at the Mercury. No fucking Muggles!) Anyhow: It's STILL opening weekend, and what they are going for here is "a heavy masculine influence and authentic blue-collar vibe." Let's go see how they did. Diesel, 8 pm, free, 21+.

C.C. ATTLE'S

While we're on the subject of new gay bars: the new C.C.'s. No, I haven't been yet, don't be absurd. Everyone knows that I've never been a fan of the place—in any of its (or my) incarnations. The place itself—with its country-western bar birth in Portland as C.C. Slaughter's and twisted history in general—is an interesting story, I'll admit. A tale of passion! And woe! And tropical fish! Of untimely death, big gay love, big gay loss, and tater tots! Someday we'll sit around the fire and I'll spin the whole darn yarn for ya. But, still. Ugh. I've put off visiting the new one for way too long already. Destiny cannot be denied! Will this be a fresh start? Will I puke? I'll report back—one way or the other. C.C. Attle's, 8 pm, free, 21+.