In a time when even Thurston Moore and Kim Gordon have called it quits, I'd like some stability. I adore the Vaselines—their sexed-up pop songs are simple and true. The pair formed in the mid-'80s, released two singles, and then recorded one album that was released after the band had already broken up. Their reason for calling it quits: They were also a couple that had called it quits. By the time I got around to listening to them (much later, and like most of the world, because they had been championed and covered so thoroughly by Nirvana), they'd already split. Like a teen in the wake of her parents' divorce, I was mad that they had already broken up romantically, and very mad that they had broken up musically. I liked their relationship, just like I liked their music! Frances McKee's timid voice and Eugene Kelly's grumpy sexiness were just weird enough to capture my heart. There was no denying that they liked to, well, do it—and then write perfect songs about it. Now that the Vaselines are back to getting busy—making music and touring after 20-plus years of dormancy—I think it's time they got back to getting busy with each other. Since I don't have enough time to stage a Parent Trap–style surprise dinner and sing "Let's Get Together" to them until they elope at Bumbershoot, these paper dolls will have to do. Pick up where they left off—dress up the Vaselines in hot '90s date-wear and get these lovebirds back together!