Thursday, July 26

9:00 E! TRUE HOLLYWOOD STORY

A hitman is hired to murder (and probably boil) the circus sideshow freak, Lobster Boy.

10:00 CBS 48 HOURS

The CBS news team investigates the drug Ecstasy, because... well... they love you guys SO MUCH!


Friday, July 27

8:00 BET BLACULA--Movie

(1972) The blood-suckin' soul brother #1 returns from the dead to nibble on some L.A. honkies.

8:00 AMC BEHIND THE PLANET OF THE APES

Roddy McDowall hosts this documentary of the movie that makes Tim Burton's version look like a tub of diaper gravy.


Saturday, July 28

8:00 MTV BACKSTREET BOYS: LARGER THAN LIFE

The Boys strut their stuff in this taped concert. (See if you can spot A.J. nipping from his flask!)

9:00 NBC FAST TIMES AT RIDGEMONT HIGH--Movie

(1982) It's a normal day in Mr. Hand's class... until Spicoli gets a pizza delivered! HO! HO! HO! Ahh, those stoners are FUNNY!


Sunday, July 29

8:00 WB BUFFY, THE VAMPIRE SLAYER

Glory kidnaps Willow's g-friend Tara, and unfortunately, decides not to kill her.

9:00 SCI-FI SSSSSSS--Movie

(1973) Crazy snake scientist runs into trouble after turning his assistant into a slithering cobra!


Monday, July 30

9:00 SCI-FI BLADE RUNNER--Movie

(1982) Harrison Ford thinks robots stink! (That is, until the sucker falls in love with one!)


Tuesday, July 31

9:00 FOX MURDER IN SMALL TOWN X

Ten contestants track down a serial killer (played by an actor) in this new reality show.

9:00 TNN STAR TREK 2: THE WRATH OF KHAN

(1982) Kirk gets his panties in a bunch when that jerk Khan sticks a bug in Chekov's ear!


Wednesday, August 1

10:00 FX WORLD'S MOST SHOCKING MEDICAL VIDEOS

Horrifying videos of gangrenous, frostbitten faces, and a man impaled by a spike. (You know, sometimes I wish I made this stuff up.)