8:00 MTV VIDEO MUSIC AWARDS
Jamie Foxx hosts this annual event for the network that refuses to show a video in its entirety.
9:00 NBC WILL & GRACE
Grace gets embarrassed when she begins dating bald pothead Woody Harrelson.
8:00 ABC WHO WANTS TO BE A MILLIONAIRE?
Stars from classic TV shows compete. (It's either that or knock over another 7-Eleven.)
9:00 USA OUT OF SIGHT--Movie
(1998) Crooked George Clooney gets the red-hots for sassy, sexy cop J.Lo!
8:00 UPN PHANTASM--Movie
(1979) Two brothers are being chased around a cemetery by a ball with a knife sticking out of it. I swear, it's scarier than it sounds!
8:00 WB SOUL TRAIN LADY OF SOUL AWARDS
Featuring the jelly-riffic Destiny's Child, 3LW, and Jill Scott!
9:00 HBO BAND OF BROTHERS
Tom Hanks gets his hands bloody directing this miniseries about soldiers.
10:00 FX BOOGIE NIGHTS--Movie
(1997) The '70s porn scene as lived by a well-endowed young actor named Long Duck Dong! (Waitasecond... that's Sixteen Candles.)
9:00 AMC YOUNG FRANKENSTEIN--Movie
(1974) A movie far funnier than that stupid Monty Python and the Holy Grail. Wanna fight about it?!?
9:00 VH1 MARIAH CAREY'S GREATEST TV MOMENTS
Including: Mariah flipping her wig and throwing dishes after her wet-naps fall off.
9:00 FOX LOVE CRUISE
Debut! Sixteen singles compete on a cruise ship for money, romance, and a date with Gopher and Isaac the bartender!
10:00 ABC NYPD BLUE
After discovering a dead stripper in his bed, Sorenson leaves the show. (It's a good thing, because Zack from Saved by the Bell really needs a job!)
8:00 WB THE CRAFT--Movie
(1996) Fairuza Balk and Neve Campbell star as hottie teen witchies boiling up a batch of hormonal trouble!