Starting today, Hillary's running TV ads in a handful of (trigger warning for using this term) swing states. And even if the party's not completely unified right now, their message certainly is: Hillary is America's mom.

One ad is called "Always" and it's a piano-y little poem about how she's always cared about helping kids. The other is called "Quiet Moments" and it's about the same. There's a third that's been running for a few days that's basically more of that — "Who We Are" is the title, and it compares Trump's bullying to Hillary's plans to lift everyone up.

Let's set aside how exasperating it is to see TV commercials given titles (this is like painting a yard sign and declaring "this piece is from my blue period") and instead dig deep into the ads and figure out whether we actually like them.

Weirdly, all three commercials are unlisted, so you can't find them by searching Hillary's channel. But here they are:

None of these three really makes my socks roll up and down. But then, I'm not the target audience — I'm already a supporter of whoever seems the least bad, so she doesn't really need to earn my vote. And more importantly, I'm not a midwestern mother, which is the person these ads seem to be addressing.

And the Democrats must really want to talk to those mothers, because they're spending $10 million over the next six weeks to run these ads. It's at times like these I'm glad we live in an unimportant state, because after just a week of constantly hearing these kindly Hallmark-channel narrators I'd be climbing the walls.

At their heart, these Hillary ads may give you a sort a warm awwwwww-type feeling. "Hey, she seems nice." If you didn't speak English, you might believe they're for any lady-targeted supermarket product on earth. Even after watching them three times, I couldn't remember any actual details. I couldn't tell you what they wanted me to remember about Hillary other than that she likes kids, which, hey, congratulations, but even Nixon kissed a couple of babies.

But even that $10 million ad buy can't compete with Trump's ads, which are running 24 hours a day on just about every channel and website on Earth for free. While the DNC has to pay for commercial time, Trump just has to open his mouth and say something stupid, and everyone flocks to cover it, thereby gifting him with more free publicity than he could ever have hoped to afford. (The word "Trump" appears nine times on the front page of the New York Times right now. "Clinton" appears twice, once in a graf about how she differs from Obama, and the second time in an ad that she had to pay for.)

And even if Hillary's yogurt ads are successful and she keeps Donald out of the White House, Trump-the-product is only getting started. Now comes word that Trump may be starting his own media company. He'd be crazy not to, given how successful he's been at manipulating crowds — and why would Trump want to keep generating ratings cash for networks when he could be monetizing his audience for himself?

There's no telling what shape that media company would take — a cable network? A streaming service? A magazine? Movies? Whatever it is, Americans will line up for it, whether it's a product to buy or a man to vote for. Do Hillary's ads make you want to line up and get out the vote? I doubt it; personally, they make me want to curl up and take a nap.