In this time when it seems impossible for Congress to agree on anything, it's refreshing to know that sometimes they can still manage to find common ground. And that common ground is that America will endure more mass shootings. Hooray.

The Senate had four chances to pass gun-control on Monday, with two weak Democratic bills and two even-weaker Republican bills. And congratulations, Congress, you defeated them all! Thanks to you, we can look forward to even more death and carnage and mayhem and late-night comedy hosts writing somber monologues about persevering through difficult times.

Also this past weekend there were four mass shootings around the country, in Virginia (twice), Georgia, and Illinois. Three people died and thirteen were injured. Two of the victims were constituents of Senator David Perdue of Georgia, who's voted reliably against gun control for years. He received $4,950 from the NRA in 2014 alone, and nearly $2 million over his career according to the Center for American Progress Action Fund.

Sadly, none of the victims of this weekend's shooting had the foresight to donate $2 million to David Perdue.

So what happens now that the Senate has given a green light to more shootings? Well, now Congress gets to work on a compromise bill, which should pass aaaaaany day now. It would prevent gun sales to anyone on the no-fly and extra-screening lists; but if someone appeals their rejection and wins, it would pay their attorney fees.

And of course, NRA-sponsored Republicans are already opposed. John Cornyn has "concerns about the lack of due process on the front end." The NRA gave him about $10,000 in 2014.

Congress will vote on the proposed bill on Thursday. But that doesn't mean you have to just sit idly by and wait until then, because there is plenty that American citizens can do in the mean time. You can play your part... by getting shot.

Here are just a few fun suggestions for getting hit by a bullet in the next few days: you can go out to eat at a restaurant and get shot when an argument breaks out. Or you could go for a walk down the street and get shot. You can hang out in an apartment and get shot. You could stand on a corner and get shot. These are just some of the creative ways that the victims of this weekend's shootings were injured/killed, but the possibilities for the next massacre are literally endless.

In fact, it seems as though one of the only ways to NOT be killed in a mass shooting is to be a member of Congress, where guns are generally not allowed.

"There are a lot of Republicans who are very pro-Second Amendment senators, so that issue is important to them," said Republican Conference Chairman John Thune, adding that lawmakers were free to vote their conscience on the upcoming compromise-bill. "Nobody calls the shots around here."

The NRA, an organization that literally calls shots, has given Thune $44,155.