Hey, youre pretty hot, you wanna be my VP?
"Hey, you're pretty hot, you wanna be my VP?" Debby Wong / Shutterstock.com

Looks like we're going to be stuck hearing a lot about Mike Pence over the next few months — the rumor mill has him slated to be announced as Trump's running mate at a press party tomorrow morning. Let's all breathe a sigh of relief that we're not going to have to listen to news about Newt Gingrich or Sarah Palin. Pence's politics may be just as bad, but at least he's super-boring about it.

And of course, Trump being Trump, there's always a chance he could strut out on stage tomorrow, launch into a speech about how he hates the way his maid slices tomatoes, forget about announcing anything, and then hastily wave his hands and name his wife as running mate because she happens to be standing right there. Who knows!

This decision seems to have been made with less care than Madeline Kahn choosing soldiers for an orgy. According to insiders, Trump and his kids met with a couple of candidates a few times, and then bam, somehow Pence wound up on the top of the heap. So who the heck is this guy?

Mike's a "traditional conservative" career politician, the kind of face you instantly think of when you think "Republican dad with adult kids and a boat." If he were in a movie, he'd be seated behind a desk in an office with a miniature model of a shopping mall he's planning to build, and Rodney Dangerfield would be insulting him.

He is also, unlike Trump, extremely dull. He is beyond ordinary, the most normal of normals. He hates the gays; he raises money from millionaires; he's a born-again Christian; he was there for the formation the Tea Party, and he previously endorsed Ted Cruz.

Pence is also, crucially, up for re-election as Governor of Indiana, and unless he finds a convenient excuse to bow out of that race, chances are good that he'll lose it. Indiana's been losing its taste for far-right politics, and Pence's opponent is a fairly conservative Democrat named John Gregg. They ran against each other in 2012, and Gregg lost by just 3.2 percent.

If the rumors are true, and Pence does have a reason to ghost on the Indiana gubernatorial race, then his replacement will be chosen by a GOP committee that might not name anyone until late August. That'll probably only help Gregg, so thanks to Trump, we can probably look forward to a Democrat taking office in Indiana.

That's a big deal for gays — as you'll recall, Pence came under fire a few months ago for signing a turn-away-the-gays bill in the state. It's possible that his successor might repeal it, since he's voiced his opposition in the past. So, there's some good news for you at last.

But of course none of that will matter if Trump wins the election and the entire country bursts into flame. Pence is as traditional a politician as Trump is not; so if ever there was a Vice President who could reassure Republicans, it is he. All those GOP insiders horrified by Trump's nomination might now be thinking, "ehhh... maybe it won't be so bad after all."