Eric Trump, a denizen of alternate reality.
Eric Trump, a denizen of alternate reality. a katz / Shutterstock.com

As of this moment, 538's election forecast has Hillary Clinton with an 86.4 percent chance of winning the election. Trump has a 13.3 percent chance. According to a PRRI/Atlantic poll released yesterday, "Clinton has opened up a commanding 11-point lead over Donald Trump." The Washington Post crunched those numbers and found "women moving 23 points toward Clinton in a week," now preferring Clinton overall "by 33 points." As the Daily Wire puts it, "the last two weeks have done grave damage" to Trump's chances.

But that is not stopping Trump's campaign from pretending like they are winning.

In addition to 538's overall election picture, those numbers nerds have been producing some other data-visualization graphics. If you have been on the internet in the last two days, you have probably seen 538's graphics of what the election map would look like if only men voted (Trump wins big) and if only women voted (Hillary wins big).


Well, earlier today Eric Trump, the Ugly One™, sent a fundraising email to supporters proudly proclaiming, "right now all the momentum is on our side" and "the mainstream media are doing everything they can to prop up Crooked Hillary and downplay the incredible Donald Trump surge happening across the nation."

Eric's evidence? An electoral map that, as a New York Times reporter noticed, was 538's men-only map.


Either the Trumps don't know that women got the vote in 1920, or they're planning a mass-execution of women before November 8, or they're just lying through their ugliest progeny's face. (I would not be making jokes about Eric Trump's ugliness if his daddy—a potential president of the United States—weren't famous for rating everyone on their looks. While I'm on the topic, I'd say Eric's a 2.)

Someone at the Washington Post got Eric's fundraising letter and wrote:

This is like saying that you are the strongest person in the world, which anyone can see for themselves, and then passing along as evidence a Photoshopped image of your head superimposed on a weightlifter's body.

Meanwhile, as I pointed out yesterday, Donald Trump has been tweeting things like this:


Huh.

Trump was on the O'Reilly Factor last night, O'Reilly began the interview (at 1:37 below) by reading that tweet aloud and then asking: "What exactly does that mean?"

Trump responded with what the kids call a "word salad."

He answered (I can't tell if this is one sentence or thousands, but I think it's one—correct me if I'm wrong):

Well, we've been having a problem, we have millions and millions of followers, we set records in the primary, we have a group of people who want to see America be great again, and Paul Ryan, you know, open borders and, uh, amnesty, and lots of other things, and bad budgets by the way, very, very bad budgets, uhh, frankly the only one that Obama negotiates well with is Paul Ryan, with the budgets, because that's the only negotiation he can win, he certainly can't beat Iran—

O'Reilly interrupts: "All right, all right, but what shackles, what shackles did you have on?"

Trump gives another answer worthy of Sarah Palin, forcing even O'Reilly to admit: "I'm still confused."

If you're keeping score at home, apparently Bill O'Reilly is still living in reality with the rest of us.

O'Reilly changes the subject to Trump's sinking poll numbers. He wants to know what Trump's plan is to win back women in the wake of the Access Hollywood video, and Trump literally begins his answer by saying: "Well, first of all, locker room talk."

We interrupt this blog post for a message from the alternate reality of gay literary scholars in New York:


Meanwhile, hardest working Christian in politics Mike Pence is trying to convince members of the flock to forgive Donald Trump. "As Christians we are called to forgive, even as we've been forgiven," he reportedly said today, adding, in reference to the last debate, "Last Sunday night, my running mate showed humility."

So mark Pence down as not living in reality, along with Donald and Eric. Meanwhile, Bill O'Reilly and Republican leaders are (am I reading my scorecard right? God this election is strange) living in reality.

And what about Trump pal Tom Brady? Hard to say. When he was asked this morning about the phrase "locker room talk," he smiled ambiguously and just walked away, ending a press conference.


Rolling Stone's subheadline? "From Deflategate to Deflectgate." Ha. Anyway, as soon as we have word which reality Tom Brady is living in, we'll let you know.