Tomorrow, Macklemore will return with his first solo album (sans Ryan Lewis) in over 12 years. Gemini, named after both Macklemore and his daughter’s astrological sign, is the first peek of what Macklemore can do after his recent and reportedly amicable break from longtime collaborator Ryan Lewis. Thanks to some dedicated Mackle-fans who illegally downloaded the leaked album, all of the lyrics to the record are already on Genius.
I spent the morning reading them, and the lyrics are confusing as fuck. There are some sweet moments near the end where Macklemore goes on about how becoming a father changed his life, but it's really weird when you consider that five songs earlier he is rapping about teaching someone how to suck his dick in the back of a car. Here's handy shortlist of the most problematic, ridiculous, and downright bizarre lyrics (as they are currently posted on Genius) from Gemini, in no particular order:
"Levitate (feat. Otieno Terry)"
Got a cane with a gold tip
Gucci ice cream tat type flow, bitch
I could make it rain, but I won't, shit
'Cause I'm cheap, motherfucker and I don't tip
In "Levitate", Macklemore raps about being able to afford gold-tipped canes and Gucci, but then immediately goes on to say that he is cheap and doesn’t tip. So as if his lyrics weren't bad enough, now Macklemore, a multi-millionaire, doesn't tip employees making around minimum wage, a mere fraction of his income. Later in the song he also drops, "Lyft outside, 'Buenos noches' / Now tell that motherfucker, take us back to the homestead," and all I can think about is Macklemore getting into a Lyft and saying, "Motherfucker, take me to my homestead."
"Firebreather (feat. Reignwolf)"
The same writers criticizing my rhymes
Are the same writers that I gentrify in Bed-Stuy
In the eighth track on the album, "Firebreather", it seems that Macklemore is proud enough to be a part of gentrification that he will boast about it in a song!? To think a white rapper couldn’t do anything worse.
"Intentions (feat. Dan Caplen)"
I wanna be a feminist, but I'm still watching porno
I wanna eat healthy, but I'ma eat this Digiorno's
We live on social media, read other people's thoughts
Tweet about justice, but don't show up to the march
I think about the earth and I think about the eco
What am I willing to sacrifice at the expense of my ego?
In this song, Macklemore describes all the ways he is a hypocrite, and somehow he comes to the conclusion that he cannot be a feminist because he watches porn. Honestly, it seems like Macklemore is willing to sacrifice absolutely nothing at the expense of his ego. I have secondhand embarrassment as I continue to analyze his lyrics.
"How to Play the Flute (feat. King Draino)"
Aye, little mama, aqui
Skin tone macchiato, we eating mahi-mahi
On Miami Beach, we have a party la-dee-da-dee
Next up is “How to Play the Flute,” which if you didn’t know, is a euphemism for teaching a woman how to suck his dick. In the third verse, Macklemore spices things up by speaking Spanish to a "little mama" with "macchiato" colored skin, which is weird because all macchiato-colored people don’t automatically speak Spanish. He then adds another reference to Slick Rick’s “La Di Da Di,” as if the world needed another recycled version of it after Miley Cyrus’ take on it.
"Willy Wonka (feat. Offset)"
R.I.P. Willy Wonka, watch the roof come off
I pull up in that candy paint, call it Veruca Salt
You cheated and you lied, you broke the rules, my dog
Now you wanna come around when there's food involved
I'm a motherfuckin' icon, boots made of python
I met with the Pres and I'm in Obama's iPod!
Although this one isn’t necessarily problematic, I can’t believe that this is a real song. My editor said that this song is like a SNL skit but actually real, and I couldn’t agree more. Macklemore released a preview video for this track, and he's reading the lyrics off of his phone and playing basketball with Offset and it's really horrible. If Roald Dahl was still alive I'd try to reach him for comment, but I'll just assume he's rolling in his grave over this one.