Federal Bureau of Investigation Headquarters, on Pennsylvania avenue.
Federal Bureau of Investigation Headquarters, on Pennsylvania avenue. krblokhi/gettyimages.com

Good Morning, America! A federal grand jury has made its first criminal charges in the special counsel’s 5-month investigation of "foreign electoral intervention." Paul Manafort, Trump's former campaign chairman, and Rick Gates, a former Trump campaign official and Manafort's business associate, have surrendered to the FBI.

According to the Washington Post, the two have been charged with "conspiracy against the United States, conspiracy to launder money and making false statements" (the indictment is here). This looks like a big deal. We sadly live in times that are too interesting. The arrests and charges will consume the whole day (and our minds), and will certainly explode Trump's volatile Twitter account. Indeed, Trump has already called the investigation a "witch hunt" (meaning "crooked Hillary"—"witch" in Trumpish is "that nasty woman"), blamed Obama (he would not be Trump if he didn't blame that negro for every damn thing), and claimed the Dems are maliciously causing all of this unnecessary trouble. (Robert Mueller, who in May was appointed by the Justice Department to run the special counsel, is a Republican.)

Trump is very low in the polls, is apparently having a meltdown (much like the one that got Roger Stone's Twitter account suspended this weekend), and has the codes for the US's nuclear weapons.

Meanwhile on Fox News:

Trump Wants Everyone to Focus on "Crooked Hillary":

Today We Learn That George Papadopoulos, Trump's Former Foreign Policy Adviser, Was Arrested by Mueller Three Months Ago: And has already, and very secretly, pleaded guilty to making false statements to the FBI during an interview.

Dan Savage Fell In Love With this Woman:

The image of her, a biker, giving the finger to Trump's gas-guzzling motorcade, captures our moment perfectly. She, of course, represents the right future; and the motorcade, the one that will not end well but is, at this late point, inevitable.

A Shooting Over Here: (Tacoma), and a shooting over there (near the Washington State University campus). The former left one dead; the latter sent two young men to the hospital.

No Fireworks In The Moon/Durkan Debate Hosted by Nikkita Oliver: But we did learn that Jenny Durkan banks with Chase. This is interesting because Chase swallowed up Washington Mutual in 2008. This is interesting because it remind us that Durkan "investigated" the spectacular, world-historical collapse of Washington Mutual and found not one tiny, itty-bitty crime in all of its subprime doings. To be fair, Durkan, as a federal prosecutor, was not exceptional in this regard. She was a part of a legal machine that ultimately functions to protect the richest bankers and investors from punishment.

Billionaire Calls Millionaires Inmates: As a result, nearly all of the players in the team he, Bob McNair, owns (the Houston Texans) did the knee thing before the match with the Seattle Seahawks on Sunday. It seems the new approach to this kneeing crisis is to claim it's bad for business. What is meant by this: "You uppity negroes, it's not about race or even national feeling. It's about that money. And we pay you millions to make that money. If standing during the national anthem is money, then you 'sons of bitches' must stand."

I Will Conclude Morning News: With a little play on words by the greatest rapper ever, Mos Def (indeed Ta-Nehisi Coates should quote him, instead of Jay-Z—a mediocre rapper who is under the illusion that if "skills sold" he could be lyrically like Talib Kweli): "The NFL industry is just a better built cell block."