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Eric Greitens, the Republican governor of Missouri, campaigned on "family values." Because of course he did. But earlier today Greitens was indicted by a grand jury for taking nude photographs of a woman with whom he was having an affair. Because of course he was having an affair. It's not illegal to have an affair or take nude photographs of a woman—at least not yet—it is illegal, however, to take those photos without the woman's consent and then blackmail her by threatening to release the nude photos online if she ever tells anyone you were fucking her behind your wife's back.

Take it away, Kansas City Star...

Gov. Eric Greitens was indicted Thursday afternoon by a St. Louis grand jury on a felony charge of invasion of privacy. The charge stems from a 2015 affair and allegations that he threatened to release a nude photograph of the woman, taken while she was blindfolded and her hands were bound, if she ever spoke publicly about the affair.... The St. Louis Post-Dispatch reported after news of the indictment broke that Greitens was seen being led down a hallway in the local courthouse by several St. Louis city deputies. Officials later confirmed Greitens was taken into custody and then booked at the St. Louis Justice Center.

Greitens was led away in handcuffs today, according to eyewitnesses, prompting Republicans in the state legislature to renew their calls for Greitens to resign:

Rep. Nate Walker, a Kirksville Republican, called news of the indictment “tragic for the state of Missouri.... I called for him to step down three weeks ago because I thought this was going to happen. My understanding was he was led off in handcuffs and that’s not a good sign for our executive of the state of Missouri,” Walker said. “He should resign.”

As you can see from his campaign ad...

...Greitens enjoyed humping guns just as much as he enjoyed humping (and terrorizing) women who weren't his wife. He also appears to have had an active gym membership. What he doesn't have anymore is a political future. But he could have a future in kink porn if he can manage to wrap his thick head around the concept of consent. (And really, people, at this point when a Republican candidate says he's running on "family values" we all should just assume he's fucking someone who isn't his wife and/or sucking cocks in airport toilets.)