Everything Is Terrible! is a group of wisecrackers from Chicago that collects and compiles footage from old VHS tapes found at garage sales and thrift stores. You might know them from the YouTube clip “So Your Cat Wants a Massage.” You should know that they do touring shows—this one centered on the most terrible-est holiday of the entire year: Christmas. Expect uncomfortable, hilarious, pee-your-pants-worthy clips full of misplaced nostalgia for winter holidays and surrounded by puppets, fistfights, and fake snow—all hosted by Santa himself (no, really, the REAL one). (Central Cinema, 1411 21st Ave, central-cinema.com, 7 and 9:30 pm, $10 adv/$12 DOS, all ages)