DEC 2, 2012


Bottomless Mimosas

Why: Do you enjoy the vitamins and general salubriousness of fresh-squeezed orange juice? How about the effervescence and general loveliness of sparkling wine? What about when those two great tastes taste great together? Plus, oh, French toast topped with high-quality, super-delicious chicken nuggets and sausage gravy? Or eggs Benedict made with an English muffin from the Dahlia Bakery? Or a giant bowl of extra-tasty saimin? Yes? Then you will enjoy this: bottomless mimosas for $12 at brunch at Ma’ono in West Seattle. Happy napping! (Ma’ono, 4437 California Ave SW, 935-1075, 10 am–2 pm)

DEC 3, 2012


Seattle Confidential

Why: Ian Bell’s crowdsourced carnival of anonymity returns on a life-after-death theme. For the newcomers: Every three months, Seattle Confidential collects anonymous stories and gives them to actors to read. (Sometimes they add bells and whistles—PowerPoint presentations, charts and graphs, instant polls that the audience contributes to via text.) The confessional mode gives the writers a cloak to air their dirtiest, most hilariously awkward laundry, and everybody has a blast. It’s not only funny but comforting—we all have screwed-up stories, and laughing at them together feels therapeutic. (ACT, 700 Union St,, 7:30 pm, $15)

DEC 4, 2012


Naomi Wolf

Why: It is time to talk about vaginas. We’ve just finished one of the ugliest anti-female elections since women’s suffrage became the law of the land, with Republicans arguing for rape and against basic women’s health programs. Wolf’s book Vagina: A New Biography examines the evolution and the biology of the organ that sends evangelical Christians across America into fits of fearful rage. America’s baked-in phallocentricity is a serious issue; we can overcome that kind of bias only by demystifying the body parts that have for millennia been hidden away behind walls of panic and hate. (Town Hall, 1119 Eighth Ave,, 7:30 pm, $5)

DEC 5, 2012


Silent Reading Party

Why: Miranda July is across town at Seattle Arts & Lectures tonight, but that’s been sold out forever. So what else is happening? The final Silent Reading Party of 2012. You bring whatever you feel like reading and read silently to yourself next to a roaring fire while waiters bring you things. Manhattans: $5. Special guests: Stranger music editor Emily Nokes and comrade in arms Bree McKenna. Bonus: A man named Will Bielawski will be rocking a harp from 7 to 8 p.m. (Sorrento Hotel, Fireside Room, 900 Madison St, 622-6400, 6–9 pm, free, all ages)

DEC 6, 2012


‘Ladies’ Choice’

Why: The sea of women-only art shows this season presents a new problem—rather than being spread healthily across the calendar, the artists born with vaginas are all showing at once right now. In your newly difficult deciding, try not to miss Ladies’ Choice at Greg Kucera Gallery. Women he represents are showing their works alongside pieces by women they themselves admire and selected: Quilter Loretta Bennett picked fellow quilter Qunnie Pettway. “Doll” painter Sherry Markovitz picked embroiderer Allison Manch. Alice Wheeler picked The Stranger’s Kelly O, and their pairing of photographs of a dressed-up “princess bubblegum” and a row of porn mannequins is devastating. Victoria Haven and Dawn Cerny teamed up and made art together. They adopted the name Daft Kuntz. (Greg Kucera Gallery, 212 Third Ave S,, 10:30 am–8 pm, free)

DEC 7, 2012


Wevers / Spaeth / Byrd

Why: This is the 10th year of Donald Byrd’s tenure as top dog at Spectrum Dance Theater. For the anniversary season’s studio show, Byrd has assembled a steamy-sounding lineup of sex and death: Crispin Spaeth’s Only You was choreographed as a tumbling, passionate valentine to its composer (and now Spaeth’s husband) Dale Sather. Back, sack and crack by Olivier Wevers is a suggestively titled “examination of sexuality” and “gender identity.” And Byrd’s A Meeting Place uses old instruments—the European lute and the Middle Eastern oud—“as a metaphor for cultures, weapons, and ideologies.” (Spectrum Dance Studio Theater, 800 Lake Washington Blvd,, 8 pm, $25, Nov 30–Dec 9)


The Cave Singers

Why: Ignore everything going on around you. Ignore the rain and the cold and the fact that your feet have been damp for the last 12 days. Relax your shoulders. Close your eyes. Let the Cave Singers’ warm folk rock songs about summers on the Jersey Shore take you away. Visualize yourself kicking the waves. As they play songs with soft, repetitive guitar riffs, picture yourself driving down an empty Southern road, fields of gold all around you. It’s dusk. There are fireflies. This will be the cheapest vacation you’ll take all winter. With Poor Moon and Rose Windows. (Showbox at the Market, 1426 First Ave,, 8 pm, $18 adv/$20 DOS, 21+)

DEC 8, 2012


Sexy Crazy Christmas at the Grand Illusion

Why: The Grand Illusion presents a night jam-packed with campy holiday delights. At 7 p.m., San Francisco’s Oddball Film + Video presents Christmas Mess, a 90-minute montage of films capturing the shamelessly commercialized nightmare of Jesus’s birthday. At 9 p.m., Scarecrow Video presents VHSXMAS II, a collection of rare Christmas footage—commercials, cartoons, montages, musical numbers—all drawn from Scarecrow’s VHS archives. At 11 p.m., Oddball returns with The Subject Is Sex, a 16 mm tour of cartoon smut, hygiene films, hillbilly porn, and “burlesque bits.” (Grand Illusion, 1403 NE 50th St,, 7 pm, $8 per film)

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