TUE
DEC 18, 2012


‘Holy Motors’

The newest film by Leos Carax is the cinematic mindfuck of the year. At the center of the story: Monsieur Oscar, a middle-aged man working his way through a day of nine mysterious “appointments,” each one of which requires him to transform into a new character and plunge himself into what is essentially a new film. It’s disorienting by design, but Holy Motors is so brilliantly conceived, executed, and acted, you’ll be happy to get lost in its inexplicable folds. (SIFF Film Center, Seattle Center Northwest Rooms, siff.net, $10)

WED
DEC 19, 2012


The Soft Moon

San Francisco musician/producer Luis Vasquez began the Soft Moon as one of America’s more rewarding revivalists of the motorik-rhythm worship pioneered by krautrockers like Can, Neu!, and Faust. With 2012 album Zeros, Vasquez and his efficient bandmates have shifted into an aerodynamic model of goth rock that will push the depressed buttons of listeners enamored of Joy Division and the Cure’s 1980–82 output. In Soft Moon’s music, morbid atmospheres roil over propulsive beats, scoring the perfect soundtrack for graveyard chase scenes. (Barboza, 925 E Pike St, thebarboza.com, 8 pm, $10 adv, 21+)

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THU
DEC 20, 2012


Louis CK COMEDY
Louis CK

Comedian Louis CK is such hot poop these days that tickets to all four of his Seattle shows sold out months ago. Still, that means more than 10,000 Seattle ticket-holders are currently crapping their pants with excitement about getting to see America’s greatest living standup comedian with their own eyes. If you’re among these 10,000-plus ticket holders, lucky you. If you’re not, stay home and watch both seasons of Louie and then Pootie Tang on Netflix. (Paramount Theater, 911 Pine St, stgpresents.org, 7 and 10 pm, $45)



Max Kraushaar and Graham Downing

In what they’re calling the “highly anticipated sequel to the 1997 groundbreaking art exhibit How Many People Are in This Coffin: You," Seattle artist pair Max Kraushaar and Graham Downing present a show of performance, sculpture, and photography called How Many People Are in This Graveyard? All of Them. It’s a horror show for the holidays, by two funny abjectionists who have, in the past, encased their limbs in cement and hung out (munching on snacks) for a performance called stoned, or on the other end of the spectrum, set up junk objects to cast such beautiful shadows that they make your eyes ache. (Blindfold Gallery, 1718 E Olive Way, blindfoldgallery.com, 1–7 pm, free)

FRI
DEC 21, 2012


Phil Kline’s ‘Unsilent Night’

It’s a boom-box parade, and here’s how it works: You dress for the weather, then show up at Chapel Performance Space with your own playback device (CD/cassette boom box, iPod, or phone with battery-powered speakers), you download the music for free, and then you all set out together to make the night unsilent in the streets of Wallingford. Composer Phil Kline created this in New York in 1992, and it’s performed around the world every December. It’s perfect for closet sentimentalists hankering for something like holiday caroling, but with an avant-garde streak. (Chapel Performance Space, 4649 Sunnyside Ave N, chapelspace.blogspot.com, meet at 6:30 pm/procession at 7 pm, free)

SAT
DEC 22, 2012


‘Homo for the Holidays’ BURLESQUE/PERFORMANCE
‘Homo for the Holidays’

You could call Homo for the Holidays a holiday-themed burlesque revue, but that’d be like calling the virgin birth an unintended pregnancy. A merrily profane satire-ball wrapped in glitter and false eyelashes, Homo pulls in some of Seattle’s best drag/dance/queer performance talents: Ben DeLaCreme, the Cherdonna and Lou Show, Faggedy Randy (of the Can Can Castaways), Jinkx Monsoon, and tons more. I’m kicking myself for missing it last year, but Dan Savage said it was “fucking great” and “fucking hilarious.” (Odd Fellows West Hall, 915 E Pine St, brownpapertickets.com, 7 and 10 pm, $20 adv/$25 DOS)

SUN
DEC 23, 2012


‘The Hobbit’

Rejoice, residents of Columbia City: The charming yet challenged theater formerly known as Columbia City Cinema has reopened under new management and with the blessing of the Seattle Fire Department! The new Ark Lodge Cinemas celebrates its opening with The Hobbit, which gives you the perfect excuse to revel in another towering triumph of nerd culture while throwing money at a great local business. (Ark Lodge Cinemas, 4816 Rainier Ave S, see arklodgecinemas.com for showtimes, $7-$10)

MON
DEC 24, 2012


Square Knot’s Turkey Sandwich

On baby Jesus’s birthday, my family enjoys a full reprise of the turkey dinner that most Americans have only once a year on Thanksgiving. You can keep your goose or your standing rib roast or whatever: Thanksgiving AGAIN—on Christmas!—is THE BEST. (Thanks, Mom! And baby Jesus!) If another turkey dinner and its leftovers are terribly distant in your future, I suggest that you head directly to Georgetown’s Square Knot Diner (open 24 hours!) to enjoy their gigantic and entirely tasty open-faced hot turkey sandwich. The waitress might even ask you if you want more gravy (just like Mom). (Square Knot, 6015 Airport Way S, 762-9764, $10.95)

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