Fighting Nuns!: No, not this kind. Two rival Yakima Valley convents, the Missionary Sisters of the Holy Ghost and the Sisters of Mary Immaculate Queen, are feuding over accusations of stolen cash and silver, forged business records and slander.

Bear Enters Political Fray: No, not this kind. A black bear mauled Bellevue City Council member, John Chelminiak, on Friday night.

Be Afraid!: (Of all the wrong things).

Too Little, Too Late?: Unions rally behind Democrats this fall.

Bill on Food Safety Is Stalled: Reasonable legislation is stuck in the Senate. I wonder how that could have possibly happened.

Montana GOP Says Outlaw teh Gays: Republicans have adopted a platform supporting, “the clear will of the people of Montana expressed by legislation to keep homosexual acts illegal.” Party officials say this statement, included under the heading “crime,” is an oversight. GOP Executive Director Bowen Greenwood claims that removing the statement never came up for discussion. For 12 years. Also, Bowen Greenwood totally sounds like the name of a gay porn star.

The Race for Governor of New York Gets Dirty: In a fun twist on mudslinging, Republican candidate for Governor (and wingnut teabagger) Carl Paladino sends a garbage scented mailer to 200,000 New York households.

Further Reasons to Avoid New York: In an attempt to combat the rat problem, city officials have introduced opossums to Brooklyn. Residents now face an overwhelming… wait for it… opossum epidemic. Between dirty stinkin’ politics, tornados, rats, and opossums, it’s a wonder anyone can stand the place.

14 replies on “Morning News”

  1. Be afraid. Claims are made. Claims are refuted. Refutations are refuted. I make claim. NYT writes 800 words of drivel refuting to claim nonsense..

  6. Huh. There’s a lot of crazy* going around these days.
    As long as there are the crazies, the GOP will be there to pander to them.

    *People who think that science is something to “believe” in, or a hoax produced by nebulous conspiracies.

  7. Well it doesn’t surprise me that a Republican tea-bagger would send garbage-scented junk mail to potential constituents with complete disregard for the poor people who have to sort and deliver that shit. Ha-ha-ha, Paladono. Aren’t you clever!

    So typical. So fucking typical.

  8. I’d take rats over possums any day. And I hate rats. Cats are the only good predators of rats and they can only do so much. My experience is they kill a few and send the rest to the neighbors house. How could a possum do any more?

  12. This is funnier than the garbage mailer:

    Paladino’s camp will be sending out five thousand duck calls to tea party leaders in the state.

    “If Andrew Cuomo shows up someplace where we can’t be, there will be a tea party member there, quacking like a duck in his ear,” Caputo said.

    What?!

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