Some of the best coffee shops in Seattle are tiny—just a few sets of tables and chairs, not a lot of wiggle room. Yet there you are, barging in with your giant-ass stroller that you refuse to leave outside when coming in to get some coffee. You loudly push tables and chairs out of your way (using the stroller!), you bump into people who are standing in line or sitting and enjoying their coffee, and then giggle, “Whoops!” as though you didn’t just assault them with your SUV-sized baby-carrying machine.
Then, you have the audacity to roll your eyes and huff and puff when someone asks you to move the stroller out of the path so they can get to the creamer. (Because, of course, they had to ask you to move the stroller. Because, of course, you were staring at your phone, completely oblivious to the fact that someone was trying to get past you.)
Leave your strollers outside! Oh, is it raining? Of course it is, you live in Seattle! I promise your stroller can handle it. It’s rough and tumble and made to withstand rain and baby shit. LEAVE. IT. OUTSIDE.
Do you need to get something off your chest? Submit an I, Anonymous and we’ll illustrate it! Send your unsigned rant, love letter, confession, or accusation to ianonymous@thestranger.com. Please remember to change the names of the innocent and the guilty.
I concur 100%
As a parent of a 2 year old, I just want to say ‘get fucked.’ It’s hard enough being a parent in Seattle today. I don’t need a passive aggressive jerkoff giving me shit about wanting half and half.
@2: We can be annoyed and fully understand and empathize at the same time. This silver linking is we get a peek at their sweet faces in the bassinet.
Blinky you sound exactly like the type of people anon is complaining about. We get it, parenting is hard. But think about others, including those just trying to get a lil bit of half and half. You aren’t special nor do you get a pass on being mindful of others bc you have a 2 year old.
I really don’t mind them so much (so long as they stay outta the way of my dog, who I bring absolutely everywhere and give free reign to run around unattended all over the place.)
@5: Dogs are not allowed in restaurants by order of the Health Department.
@6
nor are they
Allowed to shit
on your table but
if he was My good boy
he’d def shit on Yours. he’s
Awesome! you’d Adore him!
other than the steaming
Pile he left upon your
just desserts
Good
Boy!
you look like
You NEED
a Treat!
where
Were
we
was it a Baby
or a life-like
doll baby?
did
she
hafta
Spank it?
frequently?
did she
Change it
on the counter?
@2 leave your baby in the car. or at home. or in the woods. would be a shame if all this hot coffee ‘accidentally’ got dumped on it.
@2, you got fucked, and now you are dealing with the consequences. Yes, it’s hard. I have three of my own, but I do/did my best to minimize the impact on other people instead of saying the standard MAGA Karen “FU” to others. Agree 100% with the writer, which is rare.
This reeks of exaggeration. Yes, there are some clueless parents out there, but give them a break. Don’t think it prompts this kind of misanthropy (pedophobia?). And if someone is blocking your way to the blessed half and half, try asking them to move instead of venting your spleen anonymously. What the fuck is wrong with people.
I used to feel this way and despise breeders. Now I enjoy seeing babies, toddlers, children of all ages (especially nowadays with people not having as many kids anymore). 🙁
We’re all going through various stages of contempt towards others, I suppose.
Eh, it’s easy to pick on mothers (who always take the blame, while strangers rarely dare to say anything to a father). But Seattle people can be clueless in general about moving out of the way for others, whether it’s the group of five taking up the entire sidewalk who see you coming but don’t make room, or the zombies staring at their phones walking obliviously down busy sidewalks, to the people in grocery stores who don’t realize they are blocking the entire aisle. Or my favorite, those guys who get off the escalator and immediately stop at the top blocking the exit for everyone behind them, as if other people don’t even exist. The lack of basic social skills is pretty extreme here. Focusing on mothers is just picking an easy target.
At least the baby in the stroller wasn’t crying and crying and crying like the great big baby who wrote this.