A voicemail just now:
“Hi, Dominic. I have a subject you may be interested in writing an article about. It involves Jesus, why he was holy, why he was clean. His main advantage over other babies at that time was that he was clean—clean because of the gold and clean because of the incense that was given to Mary by the priests or kings or whatever you want to call them. She was able, with the gold, to get babysitters…” and DELETE!
oh…you should have listened some more; it could have lead to something sick and twisted in just a few more seconds.
How could you delete that?!
I had no idea gold could be used to clean newborns. That’s good to know.
Bitch be tripping balls.
Ooh, I want to be clean too. Please send me your gold.
Having the gold to get babysitters makes *all* the difference. You’re obviously not a parent.
cleanliness is next to godliness
We Get Signal
venomlash, FRYING BALLS will get you furhter. just a bit more aggro…
What I find even more troubling is the notion that this could be a regular Stranger reader. They’re fucking weird enough to begin with.
That was just getting interesting.
Here in Mexico City there are women all over town carrying almost-life-size baby Jesus dolls, “el niño Dios”, that they have dressed in elaborate outfits. There’s a whole street devoted to selling just these dolls, the special chairs they sit in, and a huge range of outfits, from the traditional Spanish colonial dresses to modern punk outfits, soccer kits, etc. It’s for Candelaria, or Candlemas, which is in a couple of days, Feb. 2, celebrating the day the baby Jesus was brought home from Bethlehem after his birth. We even went to a museum devoted to displays of these outfits.
Just thought you’d like to know.
So if we take some golden showers……….we’ll have magical powers like Jesus!!
Just shows that the liberal media hushes up stories they aren’t comfortable with.
Use some Garage Band to record that shit next time… “Message has been erased” included.
Bahahaha.
Jesus was hand sanitizer. Do tell…
Fnarf, for the love of God–BRING ME THE HEAD OF BABY JESUS!!!
FNARF make sure you catch at least one lucha libre match and get shitfaced at one of the De Efe’s many cantinas. Remember the grub is free at the cantinas
I admit I am green with envy, Fnarf. You know that the one who got the little tiny baby jesus doll baby in her or his piece of rosca de reyes back on Jan 6 is the one who has to throw a party on la candelaria. . . I am just green! May you meet someone who got the tiny baby jesus doll and who is a good cook!
Channeling Marshall McCluan, this should become a weekly challenge for Stranger readers and writers.
Readers outline offbeat stories. Writers verify and embellish.
You could call the column the “Story Hole”.
I guess these billboards can come down now. We now know that Jesus is…clean!
http://jesus-is.org/
This is next week’s New Column, I gar-on-tee.
What’s the frequency, Kenneth?
…but I really wish you hadn’t cut it off at the babysitters. It was just starting to get interesting. I want to know what the babysitters did to clean up dirty little baby Jesus.