So the Seattle Times has a story up on its main page about the Washington State Liquor Control Board delaying its process for considering later bar hours in Seattle (and elsewhere) because the WSLCB is now absorbed in hashing out the details of how to implement liquor privatization in the state.
Here’s my problem: They’re running the story of a “likely delay” as if that were a hot ticket news item but really it’s not. You see, the WSLCB hadn’t even gotten far enough into its rule making process to devise a timeline to be delayed (if you look over here at this handy chart, we’re still in phase “101” of the rule making process).
“There have been informal discussions [between the city and the WSLCB] on how to proceed since I-1183 passed but since there wasn’t a plan in place there’s not much I can say about the delay,” confirms the mayor’s spokesman, Aaron Pickus. So while it’s pretty clear the process will take longer thanks to the passage of I-1183, it’s hard to quantify delays on a timeline that never existed.
It would be like me announcing on Slog that I am going to delay getting sperminated for a few years and Slog being all, “What the fuck? When was that going to happen? I thought your womb was bricked with salt licks!” And then me saying, “It was going to happen eventually—that’s what the deer up there are for—but now it’s been delayed.”
Make sense?
It’s all about the Benjamins.
Would have been easier to find an Asian egg donor.
Cienna is full of win, and possibly salt, though not with deer tongues or sperm.
See, Cienna, you think you’re being all funny and clever like Lindy West, and the next thing you know you’re getting reproductive advice from Will in Seattle. Dear, oh dear.
I think the WSLCB’s strategy is to phone it in from here on out. I was told in one of the stores that there would be no more fancy rum for six months, because they’re just not going to order any. Same thing with the specialty WA state distillers: no sales for six months. Kind of a little “fuck you” on the way out the door.
Please, please, please put somebody else on the comedy beat.
What the fuck? When was that going to happen? I thought your womb was bricked with salt licks!
I can save the WSLCB tons of money and time. Ready? OK watch this:
How do we make rules to allow some bars to stay open later?
–Let the bars stay open later. In practice, this means leaving them alone when/if they stay open later than they used to, but not any later than the new rule says.
Impact of allowing some bars to stay open later?
–Some bars will stay open later.
@4, Awww… when your sad rag gets into the business of being (intentionally) funny, maybe I’ll be able to take your comments seriously.
…i’m so confused and deer-hot and thirsty right now.
@7 oh snap! Also: this deer-up-in-your-business talk is just going to get the furries all aquiver again, you realize…
Furries are like that. They get excited when they get form letters that start “Dear” – because their mind changes it to “Deer”.
It’s one thing to set out lures, just don’t go shooting from a moving vehicle. We’ve no evidence the Slog staff needs to drink more.
There are a lot of people who like salt. Not sure it’s much of a deterrent.
wouldn’t semen (in enough quantity) eventually disolve salt?
And doesn’t the salt up in there sting? I imagine it would feel a lot like eating salty popcorn with a cut lip. Ouch.
@13 I don’t think womb = wound. Maybe it would sting? It think most of my (man) insides are filled with guts. No voluminous caverns lined with salt and deer.
@7 I think you must have me confused with somebody else.
Aw, Cienna got beat on a story (again) and has to make excuses.
McGinn wanted to move on his nightlife plan. The WSLCB agreed to start working on it, but now can’t because it’s tied up with liquor privatization.
That would be a delay in anyone’s book. Unless you’re trying to split hairs to cover your ass.
With all the smart, accomplished journalists out there looking for work how the hell did you ever get a job?